shatteredworld Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 I was doing so well for so long, and now these past few days I've been a complete wreck. As I've posted before I feel so worthless after all that he did to me. These feelings just don't seem to go away. I find myself in tears multiple times throughout the day wishing the pain would just go away. I thought it was all supposed to get easier after NC but it's not. I started taking antidepressants a month or so ago so these feelings shouldn't be here but they still are.
Am4Real Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 (edited) I understand. Having worked through the stages, I told the board and a new friend here on LS of hitting the "acceptance" stage this past weekend. It couldn't be worse. True acceptance comes with the deepest of emotional pitfall; the realization of the true loss, the true change and the most likely fact WE WILL NEVER see or speak with our EX's again for the rest of our lives. Those last five words of the preceding sentence is the heart tug. It literally has taken the life out of me this afternoon and the emotional drain continues into the evening. So hurt as it does, we are not alone by any means, especially if you are like me and have "accepted" the inevitable -- the release of hope -- the release of optimism and expectation -- the release of our fantasies, aspirations and ambitions of the relationship now gone. Yes the release -- as a couple it is truly gone -- I have accepted it and it hurts more than ever. Tonight is not one of giving advice or opinion to anyone, it's a time to hold my heart in my own hands. Good night. Edited April 18, 2013 by Am4Real
Author shatteredworld Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 I'm not sure if acceptance is what I'm going through right now, I feel like I have accepted that it's over. I mean who would want to be with a cheater? I think this pain that I'm going through right now is about all the things he did to me, and all the mistakes I made. I wish all of the pain would just go away. I hate how I'm here miserable and can't stop thinking about him and how much better my life was when he was in it. Meanwhile he is living his life as if I never existed.
CompleteFailure Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 These feelings just don't seem to go away. I find myself in tears multiple times throughout the day wishing the pain would just go away. I thought it was all supposed to get easier after NC but it's not. I started taking antidepressants a month or so ago so these feelings shouldn't be here but they still are. NC is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. I think it gets easier towards the end, but the beginning and middle is going to be up, down and tough, really tough. So I've read. If the anti-depressants aren't working, you should talk to your doctor about it. You might have leveled off, or they're not working for you and you could try something different.
Am4Real Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 NC is not the culprit, the changes one feels during the period of NC are related to the person’s transition between stages of grief. For example, moving from denial to anger to acceptance to coping, etc and back and forth between them. NC is a method to move through these stages and such grief in the quickest way possible without the interactions of the EX partner. This is probably what you meant. I just it purposeful to clarify what the person is experiencing rather than have any association with the method of NC as a culprit. NC is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. I think it gets easier towards the end, but the beginning and middle is going to be up, down and tough, really tough. So I've read. If the anti-depressants aren't working, you should talk to your doctor about it. You might have leveled off, or they're not working for you and you could try something different.
saffron83 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Hi Am4Real- I came across this post after searching for some solace online in the midst of dealing with a really horrible breakup, and I have to ask - does it get better? I saw you wrote this reply a few years ago, and I'm really curious as to how you are doing now?
Am4Real Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Not sure what post you are referring to as this thread was written in April 2013 and you mention "a few years ago". Hi Am4Real- I came across this post after searching for some solace online in the midst of dealing with a really horrible breakup, and I have to ask - does it get better? I saw you wrote this reply a few years ago, and I'm really curious as to how you are doing now?
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