Unsure1 Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Ok, so I'm pretty sure my boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on me but I don't think I have enough on him to confront him. Read below and see what you think: About 6 months ago my friends husband told me he thought she was cheating on him, a month after he told me this I found a message from her on my boyfriends phone saying "will def arrange something soon, real things better though xxx" after reading this I asked my boyfriend if he's spoken to her recently and he said no so I just left it. A few weeks after this we went to said friends daughters birthday party where her and my boyfriend were both acting very strangely, this was 4 months ago now and she hasn't spoken to me since and has recently left her husband and deleted me off Facebook. My boyfriend doesn't leave his phone around EVER so I can't look at it again but my gut is telling me they're going behind my back. Is this enough to confront him with or will he just deny it and ill have no proof and end up looking like a mug?!
forgetmenot75 Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Ugh, I honestly don't think you have enough evidence to confront him. Can you get some access to his computer? 1
skywriter Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Keep listening to your gut and don't confront him until you have undeniable proof to confront him with. 1
Goodbye Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 I'm voting yes. Maybe just ask him what is up? Don't confront, but just tell him he seems "off." If he is cheating, he'll get paranoid and really uncomfortable. Won't stop him, but I'll bet you'll notice even more odd behaviors. Good luck.
DelusionalOne Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Any chance you can get a look at his cellphone bill?
Author Unsure1 Posted April 18, 2013 Author Posted April 18, 2013 I can't get his phone bill as I don't know his password
ThatJustHappened Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 It sure sounds pretty suspicious. I'm sorry Unsure, but I think he is cheating on you.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Ok, just read your other thread. So, you're broken up, right? He's not your boyfriend anymore?
DelusionalOne Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 If he is being hyper protective of his cell phone, there is definitely something up. It would be more than enough for me to go on and confront him about. But that's just me. When my H was having one of his EA's he became very possessive of his cell phone and his computer. Always a dead giveaway.
So happy together Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 This is a tough one. I don't dare go as far as to say he's cheating... but it is definitely suspicious. I would most assuredly check things out more. I would get his phone records, or get access to his texts. I definitely would not confront him unless you have solid proof. This just makes them go further underground... it doesn't stop the cheating if there is any. Try to get tangible proof, and even then, when you confront him, if you decide to, be calm. Don't fight or it will give him reason to blow up and blame you.
georgia girl Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Any chance you can just have an honest conversation and not make it a confrontation? Starting it with something like, "I know you're going to think I'm nuts, but we always promised we'd be honest with each other about how we felt. Lately, I've felt like you are distracted. Is there something bothering you? Have I done something? Are we falling apart?" It really focuses the conversation on the two of you and if you have a problem. If he says nothing or asks why you ask, I'd tell him honestly. "So-and-so thought you may be involved with his ex. And, you've seemed protective of your phone." While it's okay to seek anonymous advice on a board, the real answers can only come from him. If you create a non-threatening environment where you can talk as a couple, you may begin to get the answers you need. Hugs to you. 2
lynn1954 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Unsure1: Based on the description in this post, plus your other post explaining that it's been a sexless relationship for 2 years and you'd already considered leaving, it sounds like it's time to end this relationship. If the circumstantial evidence above was the first and only problem, then proceeding slowly would've been recommended, as some people here suggested. But with the full problem you described going back two years, it's time for a totally direct and honest conversation about what's going on. To me, it sounds like he's been cheating on you with your friend. Which came first: his loss of love and attraction for you, or the cheating with the friend? Each one of those could've happened first, thus causing the other one to happen Either way, to me it seems that you should end this relationship. 2
Author Unsure1 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 His loss of interest in me came before this so I suppose I should have seen it coming, although he says all the right things to make me think otherwise. I'm going to try and do some more digging and see if I can get more solid proof before I confront him
stillafool Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I know it's hard but aren't you two already broken up? If I'm correct you broke it off with him.
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