Am I over reacting or should I be thinking about ending it with my fiance?

[catwomanforpeace]

Am I over-reacting or do I have a reason to be thinking about ending things? My fiance went to the doctor this morning with me to find out if I was still pregnant. It turns out that I had a miscarriage. Since it is my fifth the doctor referred me to a specialist to see if I have lupus or something else that is causing them. In the office after the doctor left he said he was sorry that it had happened again and then said that he couldnt afford to miss more work to take me to the doctor. I wasnt too happy with the comment and I called him an insensitive prick. He left the office and went and waited in the car. When we got home he didnt say anything just put the car in reverse and said he was going to work. Again I was mad at him for not making sure I was ok before wanting to go to work. He finally came in but all he did was fight with me and ignore me. I had to fight with him just to get a hug or anything even though I was crying. Well things finally got a little better and he went to work. He always gets home by 7 pm and it is now 10:30 and he hasnt even called to tell me where he is or to see how I am. I know he deals with things differently than I do but I still think he should be here for me right now instead of where ever he is. Is he really being the biggest prick in the world or am I over reacting? Should I be as angry as I am?

[honey2005]

Maybe he just wanted to get away and think about things. Having a miscarriage is no doubt stressful and painful for you, but it most likely is to him, too. I agree he should have been there for you, but maybe things were just to much for him to handle right then and he had to get away. I don't think it should be a reason to end things, just a big reason to start communicating more, and making sure both of your feelings are out in the open. Maybe you can make sure he knows that if things get to hard for him, he can come and talk to you, and vice versa.

[netrie]

Originally posted by catwomanforpeace

Am I over-reacting or do I have a reason to be thinking about ending things?... I called him an insensitive prick.

 

I am so sorry for your personal situation. Also, this sounds so emotionally turbulent. Take a time out if you can away from one another until things cool down. Your comment to him, "insensitive prick" was out of line. Please read this book, Biting The Apple by Judith Sills, Ph.d. Great book for women!

 

Remember that in a relationship the other partner cannot be expected to fulfill your entire emotional needs. This is very taxing for him too. He went with you 4 or 5 times to the doctor. I agree with you that it is very frustrating to NOT get the love and support we need during a crisis but stop and think before you attack with such demeaning words to someone you LOVE... Its so hard when we love someone and they do not reciprocate.

 

Netalia