FlockaFlex Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 My ex broke up with me about a month ago, said she doesnt think I'm the one for her. She was my first love and I was hers. I think about her all the time. She was my best friend. Shes already flirting and talking to another guy and I'm not even over her yet. I want to lose my feelings for her but I don't want to lose her as a friend. I think my biggest fear is I wont find somebody else. I mean she already found somebody to be there for her and thats all I want. I hate being alone like this. What do you guys recommend to do to get rid of my feelings for her? I still want to be friends with her cuz honestly Ive never bonded with anybody like I have with her. Ive tried the no contact thing but its not really working too well. I have my ups and downs like yesterday I was doing great but now I'm doing absolutely horrible. I feel so alone and worthless and like no girl wants me. Im so stuck on what I should do
Renard99 Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 (edited) My advice? Don't be friends with her. By being friends you're holding on to what was and what will never be. Even if that thought is subconscious, you'll still be hurting yourself. It'll be like 'here's what you could have won'. You say you worry about never being with someone again, and whilst that's not true, by remaining friends with your ex after the break up you will make it incredibly difficult to be with someone else. It's like parking your new car on your drive way right next to the old one, which you loved to bits but is now broken down. Every day you'll walk out to get in the new one, look at the old one, and then proceed to spend the entire drive to work wishing the new car was the old one. It doesn't work! I'm not saying never be friends. There's every opportunity in the future. I'm friends with an old ex that I dated in college but we didn't see each other for about 8 years, until I bumped into her in a grocery store. That's fine, the feelings had gone, but straight afterwards when everything is raw..... no way. Too much for the head to handle. I know you've tried it but NC really does work, so I, and I think many others, will recommend that you stick with it. Ignore her. If she keeps sending you messages (or you simply want to seem civil and polite about it), send a message saying that, whilst you appreciate the messages, you still have feelings and your emotions are a little raw after the break up so, for your benefit, could she please cease contact. Delete her number, block her on Facebook, avoid places you know she'll be. Then do all the things you want to do and all the things you like doing. If you like running, go for it, if you like video games, go for it. The more you think about climbing hills or shooting bad guys, the less you'll think of her........ Beyond that, you just need to give it time. Edited April 18, 2013 by Renard99 1
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