snilljente Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 How doyou know when you are "boyfriend/girlfriend" with someone....this might sound like a strange question, but do most of you sit down and discuss it and decide, ok now we are b/g or is it more of an assumption after spending a certain amount of time together....I am asking because I just heard from someone that my ex is telling people that I was never his "girlfriend".....I NEVER doubted for a second that we were b/g...we were inseparable...he slept, ate, showered at my house and we were together practically 24/7....We never sat down and said, ok as of this minutes we are b/g, but it was pretty obvious....I'm curious about other people's experiences in this area and why a guy would go back and say something so dumb...I am told that I am beautiful, smart (hate to brag, but I am just trying to establish that I am not ugly/desperate) and have no problem meeting guys...this guy told his new "gf" that I was never his gf and she text messages me yesterday to tell me....What's up with this....Input?@!
Kizzyfur Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Well, my BF asked me to be his GF. Maybe your ex is telling people you were never his GF because it makes it easier for them to understand how he could be over you. I really don't know. People do things for different reasons.
Author snilljente Posted September 18, 2004 Author Posted September 18, 2004 Kizzyfur how old are you? Im 35...I was married to my ex for almost 10 years...we were together from 21 to almost 33....since then I have dated alot and had a couple of guys that I called "boyfriends" just because they OBVIOUSLY were, but we never had the talk...I remember having the "talk" when I was in HS, but is this typical adult stuff?! Geez, dating was never this complicated before I got married.....it sucks!!
ps123 Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 That is kind of a tough one sometimes. Usually for myself, I start calling the person my girlfriend when we have a talk and decide that we're both to the point that we don't want to be dating any other people. Other people just might assume after a while, but for me, I don't like having that ambiguity and need to just be sure we're both on the same page. I'm actually kind of to that point with someone right now and its confusing. Im going to post a new topic about it when i get a chance.
Zakar Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 There are no need to label eachother boyfriend and girlfriend. Ever. People know when cheating is wrong. It's a moral thing that's hardwired into our brains. A couple knows when the bond is there, and when it's broken. No "talk" should be required.
Kizzyfur Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 snilljente, My boyfriend and I are both 30, long out of high school. Twenty-nine when he asked me to be his girlfriend. He also considers me as such to everyone else. I couldn't tell you if it was a normal thing to actually have the talk or not. I think it does help to define where you stand in the relationship. Personally, I don't think that just because you're "dating" someone necessarily makes him your boyfriend. But that's just the way I feel about it. I'm sure there are circumstances that would make it seem obvious you are together as an exclusive couple. But it's just best to make sure and not to assume things.
Author snilljente Posted September 18, 2004 Author Posted September 18, 2004 Zakar...you and I are on the same page.....the bond was there (I thought!!!)....we were sleeping together, he was sleeping, showering, eating at my house, we were together everyday, practically 24/7 (with the exception of work)..we were talking about the future....there WAS NO DOUBT in my mind that we were boyfriend and girlfriend...a "talk" would have seemed redundant/silly at that point...he broke the bond and is now is going back and minimizing what we were by telling his new gf things because I think he wants to look like less of an a$%hole in her eyes because she knows what he did to me and how I have been affected (we have mutual friends, so she knows all of the gory details).....The guy met my family several times, was invited to family functions, and I was involved with his family, etc....for him to go back and now say that I "imagined" the whole thing just shows how little integrity he has and explains alot as far as why he is at the place in his life that he is (he blamed all of his troubles on other people, nothing that had happened in his life had ever been his fault! RED FLAG)...so disgusting. I may have the "talk" in the future just for my own peace of mind, but talk or no talk, this man lied and cheated and if he stops for a second and is honest about it, he knows it in his heart...
Recommended Posts