Jody Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 ok, i met a guy a year ago in a bar- he approached me. Turns out he was in town for a few months training for work. We hung out a few nights a week for the next few months until he left. We did sleep together. after he left i wasnt sure if i'd hear from him- but he kept in touch calling from time to time- however, sometimes months apart. I tried to make an effort to see him but he wouldnt follow through with plans. Finally he called (recently) and said he wanted to see me so I drove 5 hours to his house and we had a great weekend. He even called to make sure i got home ok but i havent heard from him in 2 weeks. The thing is i really like him. when i first met him i had just gotten out of a long term relationship and was looking for some fun but nothing serious and he had split with his finance- whom i believe he stills loves. so i never really talked about what i wanted or my feelings. It was almost an understanding b/t us. But now (after this past weekend) i realize i really like him & i want to spend more time with him. But i'm scared. Should i call him? but why hasnt he called me? please help any advice
rogueless Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Since he hasn't contacted you in two weeks, he doesn't want a relationship with you. Are you sure he isn't married? Sounds like he was just out for fun. Any guy that really liked you, would have contacted you within a couple days.
Sasha101703 Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font][color=blue][/color] I really think you should call him and let him finally know how you feel. He is probably feeling the same way your feeling scared to let out your true feelings. Your both coming out a serious relationship so it probably took time. Hope everything works out. Good Luck, ~*Sasha*~[color=blue][/color][font=arial][/font]
jody Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 I'm sure he isn't married. I stayed at his house and it was clear he did not have anyone living with him. One thing he has said to me a few times that i think about - once when we first met and now the past weekend was, "They say when you're not looking is when you find someone." This time when he said it I finally responded and said, "Well i'm not looking..." and he finished my comment with "...and you still haven't found him." Maybe this is a clear sign that he's just not into me. I would be fine with this - but it just makes me wonder why he still keeps in touch - even though it can be very sporatic he gives me false hope that maybe I have a chance. I mean we live in different states, I figured if sex was the reason, couldn't he sleep with someone more local? He doesn't always call b/c he wants to see me, it's usually just to say hi. In other words, the calls dont seem like a typical booty call (as they call it). Maybe this is pretty clear to those reading this post. I guess the only way to find out is to call him and confess how I feel. However, if his response were to be negative, I think I'd rather not know the truth & let nature take its run. So my internal thoughts are 1). Do I expose myself to what could be a guranteed hurt & painful rejection? 2). Make the first move, maybe he's waiting for me? I havent exactly shown any interest other than our casual dates. Maybe he thinks I'm only interested in a casual relationship and if he did like me, maybe he isn't willing to chance rejection himself. 3) Let it go - if he really liked you - no matter what the situation - he'd call you BUT - as a woman, you give him the benefit of the doubt. Has anyone ever won in this situation - is it wrong to have no hope? 4) E-mail him. Promise to be my last post. Thanks to those that took the time to respond.
Scangie Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 Jody, if guys are interested, they keep in regular touch with you -- period. The fact that he goes a long time with no communication is your biggest clue (not to mention that "you still haven't found him" response -- what an a**hole!). I know lots of people (women especially) feel like they need closure, even when the facts are slapping them in the face. If you aren't going to get any peace until you know for sure, then go ahead and contact him and tell him how you feel. Just be prepared for a negative response -- things are not looking good for any kind of healthy relationship between the two of you.
Jody Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Ok, he finally called me!! He sounded very happy to speak to me. He said his friend is in my town for work for a few weeks and he asked that if he came to visit him would i want to see him. Of course I said yes. we ended the conversation with me saying well i hope i see you soon, and he said yeah, me too. So what do you think? the same? It is wrong to get my hopes up? I know you can see things clearer than i can (only from what i tell you) but i'm in la-la land I guess. i really like this guy so i'm afraid i'll be blind to what common sense may be telling me. help once more please- brutal honesty is ok too
PR Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 Go nice and slow on this one. In general, people come with all sorts of baggage and expectations. Take if from someone who has been through something remotely similar. It is okay to let yourself be swept away, but slowly, okay? Not everything at once. Good luck.
Jody Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Thanks PR He's pretty hard to read- but i think i have been too. Maybe we are both scared... Its a little exciting but scary as well. It's hard not to think about him all the time. sometimes I wish i could just call him up and make plans to see him every weekend I would drive even I guess my only option is to let him come around at his own pace (as slow as it may be). Who knows maybe its better in the long run for us. Its also more exiciting when i do see him. I just hope he knows how much i like him without having to say it and possibly scare him away.
beautiful Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 He just does not call you in 2 weeks and out of the blue he calls again? Get rid of him!
Jilly10340 Posted October 5, 2004 Posted October 5, 2004 If you like him and want more then you should just come out and say it. Then you wouldn't be here wondering whether he has the same feelings for you, you would know if he does or not. It's better then dragging this thing on for another couple of months without knowing.
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