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Now I'm the one w egg on his face (any way to salvage this)

Imajerk17

By Imajerk17
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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
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1. I am taking a bootcamp class several nights a week. There is a girl there that I have had a crush on but I run into her only rarely over the past 4 months. Anyway, I see her tonight. Things start off great. We greet each other with a hug. For a bit during class we were laughing and joking.

 

2. Thing is, there is another guy in the class whom she got to know, and who I am sort of friends with. He has amazing "game". I could feel her attention peeling off me and onto him.

 

3. Finally I get to the part where I was going to ask for her number. He kind of butts into the conversation, and I doing what I can to keep my territory--step between the girl and him. I am flustered as hell.

 

4. Finally I say to the girl --like 3 minutes later--when it is just me and her that I was going to ask for her number. She gives it to me. Great, right?

 

5. Well maybe not so great. I am still feeling flustered as hell. I'm not sure of her interest towards me--at the beginning I was sure it was strong but not after 2--4. Towards the end of class it feels like I am "hovering" around her. And this guy hasn't gone away.

 

6. I am now wondering what to do with this girl's number. I am definitely interested, but I feel I lost a lot of respect for getting flustered when my "game" got busted and when I hovered after. (Ladies you may chime in.) I am a believer in taking chances. But I am also sensing an awkward blow-off from someone I will run into again from time to time.

 

I feel like I got egg on my face. I was this confident guy before but after it felt like I was getting overshadowed I was clearly flustered. I guess I would like a take as to what is going on in the girl's mind. And maybe some assurance that I didn't come across as a total loser :/

Edited by Imajerk17
Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

Posted
Posted

She's probably enjoying the attention from you both, but that doesn't mean you don't have an equal chance with her. Call her, make plans, and forget about that other guy. You have no control over their interactions. Maybe she only humors him because he is of the meathead variety, but her true interest is with you. Time will tell, but you have to take action.

  • Like 2
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

No risk, no reward. Consider getting her contact information and her pleasant way of interacting with you to be a success. Most attractive women will always have some other guy hitting on them. SOP. Do what you do and move on. Call her when you feel like it. If no date results, OK. Same as if a date results. If you feel like calling her tonight, do that.

 

Your only competition is yourself. She knows you like her.

 

Lastly, you're in charge of your 'crush'. I'm sure there are other interesting and attractive ladies to focus attention on. You may 'only have eyes for her', but that's a choice.

  • Like 3
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

You aren't a total loser, you nob. :p

 

Ask her out before the other guy has a chance to. Maybe he doesn't have a set big enough.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Imajerk17, if you are reading this and haven't called her yet, I am going to kick your ass.

  • Like 2
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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Called her, got her vm. We'll see....

 

I am still mad at myself for not being more "assertive". When the other guy was trying to get in, I should have put my arm around her and said "She's mineeee....mineeeee!" I was confused because the start of class felt so positive.

 

I just feel like a chump right now.

Edited by Imajerk17
Poppy fields Established Member

Poppy fields

Posted
Posted
Called her, got her vm. We'll see....

 

I am still mad at myself for not being more "assertive". When the other guy was trying to get in, I should have put my arm around her and said "She's mineeee....mineeeee!" I was confused because the start of class felt so positive.

 

I just feel like a chump right now.

 

Don't feel like a chump. You would have looked like one if you had done that weird territorial thing. You handled yourself well. No need to feel bad or insecure. Hopefully she felt that positivity and will get back to you soon.

  • Like 1
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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Don't feel like a chump. You would have looked like one if you had done that weird territorial thing. You handled yourself well. No need to feel bad or insecure. Hopefully she felt that positivity and will get back to you soon.

 

Thanks Poopy fields, for your kind words. I did feel kind of flustered by the whole thing though. I hope that didn't make me look like a chump and blow any chance away....

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
1. I am taking a bootcamp class several nights a week. There is a girl there that I have had a crush on but I run into her only rarely over the past 4 months. Anyway, I see her tonight. Things start off great. We greet each other with a hug. For a bit during class we were laughing and joking.

 

2. Thing is, there is another guy in the class whom she got to know, and who I am sort of friends with. He has amazing "game". I could feel her attention peeling off me and onto him.

 

3. Finally I get to the part where I was going to ask for her number. He kind of butts into the conversation, and I doing what I can to keep my territory--step between the girl and him. I am flustered as hell.

 

4. Finally I say to the girl --like 3 minutes later--when it is just me and her that I was going to ask for her number. She gives it to me. Great, right?

 

5. Well maybe not so great. I am still feeling flustered as hell. I'm not sure of her interest towards me--at the beginning I was sure it was strong but not after 2--4. Towards the end of class it feels like I am "hovering" around her. And this guy hasn't gone away.

 

6. I am now wondering what to do with this girl's number. I am definitely interested, but I feel I lost a lot of respect for getting flustered when my "game" got busted and when I hovered after. (Ladies you may chime in.) I am a believer in taking chances. But I am also sensing an awkward blow-off from someone I will run into again from time to time.

 

I feel like I got egg on my face. I was this confident guy before but after it felt like I was getting overshadowed I was clearly flustered. I guess I would like a take as to what is going on in the girl's mind. And maybe some assurance that I didn't come across as a total loser :/

 

 

any girl with heart wouldnt class you as aloser because you lost your cool.....its sort of cute when guys lose it....shows humanity.....no one is perfect.....best wishes....deb

  • Like 1
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted

Was it at your box?

 

I agree with Carhill. No risk, no reward. I'm sure you were far less chumpy than you feel. :)

tbf Established Member

tbf

Posted
Posted
I could feel her attention peeling off me and onto him.
I don't like this part and not because you did anything wrong.

 

Even though male and female dating behaviours differ, if a guy gets distracted by another woman, I will detach and withdraw. Competing for anyone is an automatic lose in the social transaction game. You in effect have handed the person who you're competing over power over you, where this person should be focusing their attention solely on you if they're that into you. In being distractible, will they be trustworthy in the future?

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Don't feel like a chump. You would have looked like one if you had done that weird territorial thing. You handled yourself well. No need to feel bad or insecure. Hopefully she felt that positivity and will get back to you soon.

 

Thank Poppy Fields. (Please forgive my last post's typos--it was from a mobile...) Good point....

 

tbf: I was wondering the same thing. But what's done is done. Go for it, keep my eyes open, see what happens.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

I shouldn't even be awake right now, but good job for having a big ol' set on you, hon.

  • Like 1
MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted

It sounds like you handled yourself just fine. So, I'll be right behind Treasa to kick some butt if you don't call her!

  • Like 1
Archgirl Established Member

Archgirl

Posted
Posted

This is simple.

 

Turn being the genuine guy, who is interested in her as a person into your thing,

 

amp up the comparison between you being a normal cool guy and his smarmy game - she will be half attracted to that but also distrustful.

 

Don't hover, but don't be the 'safe' friend, if he buts in again just look at him and say dude I'll catch up with you in a minute (but friendly not aggresively) - makin it look like you are the one who's attention he wanted and regaining control of the sitch without looking like a territorial d*ck.

 

If you text her (which I think you should - she gave her number to you not him), ask her out immediately to do something excersise (boot camp)related, leave her in doubt whether it's a date.

 

It's less pressure, let's you regain a bit of cool and let's you save face if she truns out to not be interested.

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
Posted
Called her, got her vm. We'll see....

 

I am still mad at myself for not being more "assertive". When the other guy was trying to get in, I should have put my arm around her and said "She's mineeee....mineeeee!" I was confused because the start of class felt so positive.

 

I just feel like a chump right now.

 

The best thing to do is to get all that out of your head. She probably has other guys she talks to, sure. Your interest is with her, not with them, so focus on that. She did give you her number, so you have that going for you. Good luck!

  • Like 1
fishtaco Established Member

fishtaco

Posted
Posted

Don't beat yourself up.

 

Flirt -> acquire digits -> call and get vm -> the end. This is soooo typical of dating. Yes the guy had game, but the woman could be gaming both of you and having a great old time spinning both of you around. You know how much of an ego boost it is to have two guys fight over her? Whatever, don't get dragged in to play the game by her rules. Just move on.

 

So do your thing, it works, it works. It doesn't, it doesn't.

 

How many other women are you hitting up on? That is the key right there. But you know what you're doing, you don't need me to tell you.

tbf Established Member

tbf

Posted
Posted

Has she responded to your vm yet?

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thanks everyone.

 

Haven't heard back from her yet. Which sucks. I got a bad case of "I meet plenty of women who dig me but I really REALLY like this one" even though she isn't my usual type.

 

My mind is going back over stuff that sounds kind of silly. I'm wondering if it was a mistake to call her so soon. Maybe she gave me her number as more of a "friendly" thing and so that was coming on too strong on my part. Maybe I should have texted. I'm wondering if she went from really liking me as a person to just feeling awkward with what went down. I wish at that moment I had more "game"....

 

How is it going to be running into her again?

 

Maybe I'll text her later in the weekend if I don't hear back from her.

Edited by Imajerk17
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Dude, just be confident, work out, continue kicking ass, and don't worry about what she thinks. If you continue to just be proud of who you are, chances are she'll think, "Wow, that dude not only has balls, but he's really self-assured." Maybe not in so many words, but she'll get that impression.

 

You can continue to be friendly with her. In fact, I'd recommend it. But just friendly. The ball is in her court now. If she can't see what a stud you are, her loss. Someone else will.

  • Like 3
  • 3 weeks later...
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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Update: We are both in each other's Friend-Zone. It is actually fine. If someone isn't feeling it for me after I give it my best shot, I find myself losing romantic interest--after a certain amount of time obsessing anyway.

 

I guess women really are more tolerant of awkward behavior from guys, at least if they know them for a bit. I really was concerned that things would have been awkward but that doesn't seem to be the case.

 

Meanwhile I have been meeting several women since. Life is good...

Edited by Imajerk17
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