youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Would you take an ex bf/gf back knowing that they have slept with someone else? How would you feel about it? Or would you rather not know? Personally, I don't know I could deal with that. I don't care about the girls before me, but the girls AFTER me would make me feel awkward, uncomfortable and very jealous. My heart stings just thinking about it.
ViciousCycle Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I've been struggling with that today. I am not sure if my ex has had sex with a guy or not. I think there is a strong chance, even though she recently said that she had just come to terms with the idea that I was the only guy she was going to have sex with for the rest of her life. I'd lean towards not taking them back/Better off not knowing. If they've really reformed, then maybe. But otherwise, that is a huge thing to give up to someone. 1
singme2sleep Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 At this point in time, I'd have to say no. Even though I wasn't cheated on and he didn't leave me for her...knowing he slept with her, had sex and cuddled etc bothers me too much. If he came back begging, saying he broke things off with the rebound girl, I honestly still wouldn't want him. 2
Mcnulty Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Mine had, had my mate since me...I love her, fancy her...but CANT take her back after knowing he's been there...plus If I even managed to get over that part, he's a nutter and could turn up at any minute...I'd be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life...aint gonna happen. 1
Dragi3169 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Oh Hell no!!! My ex is a virgin and I didint pressure her for the 8 months we were together cause she made a promise to her Mom she wouldn't until she was married . I respected that and was more then willing to wait. But the ****ed up part is now that we're broken up she joined a date site and it has questinares and one of them was when would you sleep with your partner she marked 6 or more dates. I was shocked and ****ing pissed so yea if she slept with someone but later wanted to get back with me I'd say Hell No!! I gave everything to this girl treated her like a Queen and know shell never find someone who will Love her and treat her as good as I do. So if she just gave it up to some guy real quick then obviously she wasent the person who I thought she was 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Interesting how everyone says no they wouldn't take them back. What do you think it is about sex that makes it so personal and unforgivable if an ex sleeps with someone else? I would get so physically sick and completely jealous if I knew he slept with someone else after me. I'd be very hurt. And I know it's inevitable my ex will sleep with someone else eventually. And I will too one day. But it just makes me so sick. Why is that? Is it because we still have emotional attachment towards them? 1
WhoreyBull Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 If I am even considering taking someone back I'm not going to get into such a masochistic topic as whether or not they've slept with other people. Who cares? I'm sure they've showered by now.
Dragi3169 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Well obviously she said she was gonna wait for the one she loved and married. And if she just sleeps with some guy all that was Bull**** and she is nothing more then a manipulative liar
ViciousCycle Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I read something on some forum that said something along the lines of "it is penetrating mind and body"...and that seems like so much consent to give. If my ex has shown enormous change, I would consider not asking about it. But that is unlikely. The other side of this, though, is that sex has become very casual. So perhaps it may not be as big of a deal in the person's mind.
Mcnulty Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Actually I love her that much and she has been there for me over the last 6 months, if she had slept with someone else who I didn't know or wasn't my "friend" I would go back.
WhoreyBull Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 What's more important to me is if I should take them back. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Whoreybull, by the way what the heck made you come up with that name! hehe ;p I would love to have the same feelings as you do to be to just brush it off and not think twice about it. But it was something I shared intimately with him and now he just willingly gave it away to someone else. What was special to me, is no longer just mine, it has been used and given back. I mean, I've had sex with men that I didn't care about since my relationship, it was just a one night stand, but if my ex knew about that, he would be very upset and sad and PISSED. As I would too if he slept with other women. So, what resonates those feelings? Control?
singme2sleep Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Interesting how everyone says no they wouldn't take them back. What do you think it is about sex that makes it so personal and unforgivable if an ex sleeps with someone else? I would get so physically sick and completely jealous if I knew he slept with someone else after me. I'd be very hurt. And I know it's inevitable my ex will sleep with someone else eventually. And I will too one day. But it just makes me so sick. Why is that? Is it because we still have emotional attachment towards them? For many people these days, sex has become a more casual thing...as another poster stated. I have always been old fashioned about it, I think sex is the kind of emotionally intimate act that you share with someone you're in love with. If only everyone felt this way 3
Thunderchild Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 My current ex cheated (and got pregnant by him). I wouldn't take her back if she fell on her knees and begged. Sorry, she made me second best to whoever (completely unacceptable), she had unprotected sex - risking AIDS and venereal diseases, she seemingly has very little impulse control (is untrustworthy) and showed me utter disrespect. She ain't coming back - ever!!
thefooloftheyear Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 For many people these days, sex has become a more casual thing...as another poster stated. I have always been old fashioned about it, I think sex is the kind of emotionally intimate act that you share with someone you're in love with. If only everyone felt this way Dont change for anyone or "whats the new thing"...Plenty of people(yes, even us stupid guys) appreciate that quality in a woman. TFOY 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 My ex bf is the type who is very possessive of me and would not want me with another guy (I doubt he would take me back, yet alone talk to me), but for him, it's okay to be with another girl. I guess I could say the same. Because those two guys I slept with before, were NOTHING to me, but my ex was everything. Sex was very different with the one night stand compared to my ex. I rather have sex with someone I love and trust. It's so much better. The one night stands, f*ck buddies, I can live without.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 My current ex cheated (and got pregnant by him). I wouldn't take her back if she fell on her knees and begged. Sorry, she made me second best to whoever (completely unacceptable), she had unprotected sex - risking AIDS and venereal diseases, she seemingly has very little impulse control (is untrustworthy) and showed me utter disrespect. She ain't coming back - ever!! Cheating is obviously different. Because she was with you when she slept with someone else. What if she didn't cheat. What if you broke up, she slept with someone else, it didn't work out and then you guys toyed with the idea of getting back together. Would you re-consider taking her back?
Charlie Harper Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I find it weird that people want their EX partner/lover/**** buddy/spouse to be faithful after a breakup...and will indulge on torturing themselves on the thought if HIM HER cheating. Wake UP its no cheating YOU BROKE UP..... People are way to possessive and of course sex and body MUST belong to you even if you broke up?, if you are still in a relationship and they cheat is another ballpark...
todreaminblue Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Would you take an ex bf/gf back knowing that they have slept with someone else? How would you feel about it? Or would you rather not know? Personally, I don't know I could deal with that. I don't care about the girls before me, but the girls AFTER me would make me feel awkward, uncomfortable and very jealous. My heart stings just thinking about it. I have and its horrible....i would never do it again........only forward for me....deb 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 I find it weird that people want their EX partner/lover/**** buddy/spouse to be faithful after a breakup...and will indulge on torturing themselves on the thought if HIM HER cheating. Wake UP its no cheating YOU BROKE UP..... People are way to possessive and of course sex and body MUST belong to you even if you broke up?, if you are still in a relationship and they cheat is another ballpark... hmm, so you are okay with your ex sleeping with another man? A guy who has had his rock hard thingy in her turned on thingy? and she got off from it? that's okay to you? I am no means possessive about it and don't try to control it, but I feel that once I shared something with you and you share it with someone else after me, it isn't special anymore. Because someone else got your gift that was meant for me. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 If I really want them back, I don't really care at all. I mean, if I've hooked up with others, it'd be damn hypocritical if I was to criticize the other person for similar behavior. 1
candie13 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 It all depends on the relationship, on how much you love your partner and on how he handles it. My big ex cheated on me and I had all the reasons in the world to leave him. It would have been the right thing to do, for me. I didn't. Last summer, I've developed a crush on a guy, but he was acting funny, so I kept my eyes open. I completely held back and waited for him to take the lead. He made some feeble attempts, but it never really happened - so I gave up on him, despite him keeping in touch. A few weeks after NC, I bump into him - he was with a new girl and had no pbm parading her around and kissing her in front of me. I felt my stomach turning upside down. Next week, he started to contact me all over again . I had absolutely no remorse to say "I was real busy :)". 2
McGriff Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 This must be an age thing. I am gonna unpopular for saying this, but most of all our exes have had sex after the BU. it's just a fact of life. Hell, most of the exes of people on this website LEFT FOR OTHER PEOPLE. If you think your ex is going months and months without, you are kidding yourself. What your ex (and you, for that matter) does outside your relationship is fair game. I have never held it against somebody if they've had sex when we are not together. God knows I have. Cheating is a different story. It's not a fun topic by any means, and the thought of my ex getting it is god awful. But it's a fact of life people. Sex would not be an issue in reconciliation for me. I would be a hypocrite. Now, if she went on a tear and say slept with multiple people or people I know, that would be a problem for me.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Yep, cheating is unacceptable and if an ex cheated, she'd be gone for good. Cheating is unacceptable. But if we aren't together, I have no hold on her and she has no hold on me. I'm not going to hold my ex to a standard that I have no interest in upholding.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 This must be an age thing. I am gonna unpopular for saying this, but most of all our exes have had sex after the BU. it's just a fact of life. Hell, most of the exes of people on this website LEFT FOR OTHER PEOPLE. If you think your ex is going months and months without, you are kidding yourself. What your ex (and you, for that matter) does outside your relationship is fair game. I have never held it against somebody if they've had sex when we are not together. God knows I have. Cheating is a different story. It's not a fun topic by any means, and the thought of my ex getting it is god awful. But it's a fact of life people. Sex would not be an issue in reconciliation for me. I would be a hypocrite. Now, if she went on a tear and say slept with multiple people or people I know, that would be a problem for me. I'm not arguing what is right or wrong. I'm simply asking for opinions. Sure, I can't hold it against my ex if he has sex with someone else. But that doesn't change the fact that I'd be hurt from it. That's the question here. Would it upset you? (by the way, my prior ex's I could not give a flip about whether they have slept with other people or not!) And that's the thing. We only feel this way about the ex's we still have feelings for, when it's still fresh. We don't feel this way about people we don't have feelings for anymore. So, I repeat, "Would you be upset if an ex had sex with someone else after you? How would it affect you with the chance of you two getting back together" 1
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