jadlh78 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I don't know where to start. I dated coworker last year that end up with her giving me a non explanation cliche that bothered me for awhile. So I left her alone, but she would give me the "why are you being antisocial line." Like a chump I fell for it. When I finally realized it I went back to NC, or some version of it because we don't just work together we literally work across from each other. Mind you this chick is some piece of work. She would intentionally ask for help with my coworker next to me or avoid me outright. If I was dumb enough to have lunch with her, she would pull out a book and start reading in front of me. So for the last few weeks NC lite has been working until yesterday. She comes up to me and drops the antisocial line again, this time saying I turned my nose up to her like a snob. I find that hard to believe since I've hurt my neck and I still can't turn it any direction. Here's my dilemma, I gave her the brush off as the fasted way back to NC. But, part of me wants to tell her off; to tell her it's her that has been an antisocial pain who not only goes out of her way to ignore me but is trying to manipulate our coworkers. That she only is seeking validation for her behavior towards me to justify her affair with another employee. If my old post is still around its the same guy, and she doesn't think I know about(frankly I don't care I just want to left alone by her). So I need some advice on how to approach this. I was recently told I have no coping skills when it comes to this situation. Given we have been fighting longer than we dated I should be over this, but a friend believes I still haven't gotten her out of my system.
geegirl Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 She is an attention-seeker. When she gets it, she ignores it. When she doesn't, she seeks it. If you respond, you will only let her know that she can get under your skin and that you are affected by her. Don't give her the satisfaction. You go to work, to work. Leave anything unrelated out of it. 1
Author jadlh78 Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Thanks geegirl, you nailed it. On Friday she started with the games again trying to bait me into giving her attention. I was minding my own business when she came over said down and started to read a book. I got up a left because I wanted to be alone and focus on what I was doing at the time. To keep things short, this continued until lunch when I broke NC just to tell her " Oh, I guess your lunch buddy or whatever he is must not be here today." Then started to read the paper. Other than this ongoing petty drama; I am soo lucky not to be involved with her anymore. Too bad there aren't any nice girls out there anymore.
steveT95 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Ignore her. She sounds like my ex. She won't listen and won't see that she is in the wrong. Talking to her won't get you anywhere but not talking will. It will irk her and she won't get anywhere, she wants to throw you breadcrumbs and she wants to know you are lapping them up. Don't and her wheels will be stuck spinning with nothing to feed her ego. I am learning from the best (Taramaiden and Geegirl) and practically quoted what they have said to me. But it is true, and I am realising it more everyday. Full no contact truly is the way forward. Even if you just want to annoy her
denxnis Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 You already know the answer... People like her don't have anything exciting going on in their live's so they intentionally create drama to try and fill that void. Ignore the **** out of her bro and show her you actually have more important things to do than play silly high school games. 1
Am4Real Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I get it you dated her, I get what happened through the LC exchange, but were you both each considered in "a relationship"? I don't see anywhere anything about actually breaking up. Are you broken up or did you just giver her the silent treatment and expect her to assume you are? I don't know where to start. I dated coworker last year that end up with her giving me a non explanation cliche that bothered me for awhile. So I left her alone, but she would give me the "why are you being antisocial line." Like a chump I fell for it. When I finally realized it I went back to NC, or some version of it because we don't just work together we literally work across from each other. Mind you this chick is some piece of work. She would intentionally ask for help with my coworker next to me or avoid me outright. If I was dumb enough to have lunch with her, she would pull out a book and start reading in front of me. So for the last few weeks NC lite has been working until yesterday. She comes up to me and drops the antisocial line again, this time saying I turned my nose up to her like a snob. I find that hard to believe since I've hurt my neck and I still can't turn it any direction. Here's my dilemma, I gave her the brush off as the fasted way back to NC. But, part of me wants to tell her off; to tell her it's her that has been an antisocial pain who not only goes out of her way to ignore me but is trying to manipulate our coworkers. That she only is seeking validation for her behavior towards me to justify her affair with another employee. If my old post is still around its the same guy, and she doesn't think I know about(frankly I don't care I just want to left alone by her). So I need some advice on how to approach this. I was recently told I have no coping skills when it comes to this situation. Given we have been fighting longer than we dated I should be over this, but a friend believes I still haven't gotten her out of my system.
Author jadlh78 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 We did break up. When she started to become distant and I wanted an explanation; all I got from her was it wasn't fair for me to be in a relationship with her and she didn't know what she want line. From that point I started to leave her alone, but she continued to push that remain friends. If that helps
Am4Real Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It does, thank you. I guess you know what you have to do then...right? We did break up. When she started to become distant and I wanted an explanation; all I got from her was it wasn't fair for me to be in a relationship with her and she didn't know what she want line. From that point I started to leave her alone, but she continued to push that remain friends. If that helps
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