Shabelle Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Could someone who never got caught and ended an A tell me what they did? Right now my AP and I are good terms but I never forget the times he hurt me, he is not M. I've posted before that I'm a 23 year old with a 43 year old, he is talking to other OW. I know this is not right for me and I just want out regardless. You can read the post "I am the OW". I'm confused. I need to get out.
crederer Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 I would suggest leaving. Find a good single guy that will treat you well. This may sound harsh, but the reality is that he is probably using you for sex, and I don't think that any self respecting person should tolerate that. 1
psm04 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Could someone who never got caught and ended an A tell me what they did? Right now my AP and I are good terms but I never forget the times he hurt me, he is not M. I've posted before that I'm a 23 year old with a 43 year old, he is talking to other OW. I know this is not right for me and I just want out regardless. You can read the post "I am the OW". I'm confused. I need to get out. Hi, neither myself nor my xOMM were caught, but we ended the A. There is no real way to go about it, except to just do it. I know, easier said than done. Believe me, I know. It took lots of attempts, but when that final attempt happened, I knew that that's what I wanted, considering the situation that I was in. Since you were wondering how people did it, this is what I did. I sent him an email, letting him know how I felt about the whole thing. I didn't want to just cut him off since that would have never worked. We talked constantly for 2 years, so I felt that it was the nice thing to do. Anyway, even after that, we had little conversations here and there, and almost met up one time, but I let him know that it wasn't a good idea. The key is not letting him or your heart control things. You have to be strict with it, and every time you feel like you are faltering, you have to think about all the reasons why you wanted to end this. Oh, and come to LS and read the posts too. They helped me! I hope this helps a little. Everyone's situation is different. I hope you find happiness with whatever you decide to do. Good luck!
Author Shabelle Posted April 18, 2013 Author Posted April 18, 2013 Hi, neither myself nor my xOMM were caught, but we ended the A. There is no real way to go about it, except to just do it. I know, easier said than done. Believe me, I know. It took lots of attempts, but when that final attempt happened, I knew that that's what I wanted, considering the situation that I was in. Since you were wondering how people did it, this is what I did. I sent him an email, letting him know how I felt about the whole thing. I didn't want to just cut him off since that would have never worked. We talked constantly for 2 years, so I felt that it was the nice thing to do. Anyway, even after that, we had little conversations here and there, and almost met up one time, but I let him know that it wasn't a good idea. The key is not letting him or your heart control things. You have to be strict with it, and every time you feel like you are faltering, you have to think about all the reasons why you wanted to end this. Oh, and come to LS and read the posts too. They helped me! I hope this helps a little. Everyone's situation is different. I hope you find happiness with whatever you decide to do. Good luck! Thank you! I will take this into consideration. I have not said anything to him as yet.
Lillyfree Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 being aware that it's wrong and wanting out is being 90% there. the last 10% sucks. it involves saying goodbye and then never having anything to do with them again. it's hard for a little while but then it gets easier and easier, until they're out of your heart and head. view it this way: you can be moderately unhappy constantly, or take it as a hit over a few months and then be free to make your life what you want it to be. all the best. 2
spice4life Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 (edited) First thing to do is find someone who can help you develop a healthy change of patterns....a counselor, a clergy member or a trusted family member. If you don't have the strength to do it alone...find help. You are not trapped. You have the ability to change you and your situation. ^^^ This. Bentnotbroken is absolutely right. You have choices and you don't have to go through this alone. First of all, this guy sounds emotionally abusive and totally screwed up in the head. That alone is reason enough to run away as fast as you can and not look back. Change your number, change your email, move and don't tell him where you went. Secondly, and I don't care if this ticks people off, you are waay too young to be involved with this douche. I have daughters older than you and I CANNOT imagine them being involved with a guy like this when they were your age. Or at any age for that matter! No way. Just RUN as fast as you can away from this guy. You have so many wonderful experiences waiting for yu in life to waste another second on this POS. Follow bentnotbroken's very wise advice and find someone to talk to and let them help and support you while you get out of this mess. I cannot stress that enough. Edited April 18, 2013 by spice4life
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