emotionalidiot Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Hi, long time lurker here. My husband and I have been married for 11 years, we are both 29. We've had minor problems in the past, just like everyone else, but the last few years, they got progressively worse. He stopped having sex with me, if we had sex, it was once a month and it would be after having a huge fight about it. He shut down emotionally, I tried to go to counseling with him but he refused. It got to the point I put up all these walls because of the constant rejection from him. To the point that I fell out of love with him. Fast forward to the last few months, I'd been going through the motions, not really feeling much and very unhappy. Unfortunately, during this time, I met someone. It started innocently enough, but of course, he provided all those things that were lacking. It became more emotional based than anything else, however, I was willing to throw everything away for this person. There was some kissing, but never sex. This "relationship" has come to an end. I came clean to my husband who was shocked and feels betrayed. He now tells me he's in love with me, madly in love with me and willing to forgive me. He says the reason he was emotionally shut down was because of the way I communicate, and criticize him, and he's pulled away emotionally and physically. I don't want to lose him because we've known each other for so long. But I'm at a loss as to what to do. Try a last ditch effort? Try harder? Try to move on? It doesn't seem our problems are horrible, but how do you fall back in love with someone? How do you even forget the other third party? I feel so lost.
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