crederer Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 (edited) So some background for anyone that hasn't seen my other posts. I was dumped 7 weeks ago (girl seemingly has the GIGS syndrome). We have had very little contact since. We met up for coffee last night. I got some good advice on the forums but I did not really follow it (everyone said not to meet). But we still had a bunch of each others things that we needed to exchange. So I met her anyways and I got to say I feel like I took a 12 pound sh*t. So it was about a 45 minute meet. Here are some of the highlights: -Pretty much right at the very start of the conversation, a girl who I gave my phone number to calls me. I answer and say "hey can I call you back in about a half hour". The ex says "who was that?" I said "no one that you know". She knew it was a girl and I could tell it bothered her. -I didn't want to talk about the relationship but she brought up a few things. She said "I can't believe that as of tomorrow it'll be 7 weeks already!" This made me feel good because it showed that obviously she had been thinking about the details, she knew the exact number of days. I didn't even know that. -She didn't break eye contact with me at all, and confided with some of the negative things she's been going through. I didn't waver or give in to telling her anything negative about what I've been going through. -She told me she's been having trouble sleeping. Night time is the worst for her that's when she thinks about our relationship. -She mentioned that she wasn't seeing her ex (the 45 year old married man I talked about in other threads). She has no plans of seeing him either. I said "it doesn't really matter. You're single, you can do what you want without my permission." She said "I know that, it's just important for me to let you know that isn't what's happening". -She said "I heard you are doing quite well", which I knew she was referring to the fact that her best friend walked into a bar right as I was kissing some hot 19 year old blonde. "are you dating that girl?" I said "no, I haven't been single since I was 17. I think I'm going to do the whole single thing for a while and get it out of my system while I'm still young. I don't want to end up 35 and looking back on these years and regretting it". I could tell that stung her pretty hard. -I checked the time and said "I have to get going in a few minutes" She said "oh....." in a disappointed tone. "Are you meeting someone?" I said " I have plans later". She said "ya me too". I could tell she was lying and I said "No you don't". She said "yah...I gotta....I gotta cook dinner. SHUT UP!" playfully. We both had a good laugh. -When I stood up to leave she had a pout on her face. I said "what's wrong?" She said "it's just sad". I said "Yeah....". She leaned in, we had a long firm hug, I kissed on the cheek and said "good luck" -I walked off into the sunset. Literally. The sun was setting in the direction I was walking. I saw in the reflection of a window she was staring at me as I walked off. I didn't turn around. It felt pretty epic. So in summation, while the advice on here is good, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I had the best night sleep I've had since the break up. I want this girl back but I realized that I'm doing better with the break up than she is, and we both know it. I'm not going to try and get her back, if it happens it happens, if not then I'll be just fine without her. Edited April 17, 2013 by crederer more info 6 Link to post Share on other sites
angelxx Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I mean if she was the one that did the dumping, she needs to work for you if she wants you back. Reading your story, it defiantly seems like she still has strong feelings for you and it really bothers her if you are seeing other girls or enjoying your single life. I really think shes regretting her decisions to break up with you and she is trying to see you more. I do think you should keep it cool but don't completely make her feel like you have moved on as this might make her feel hopeless and give up. Keep a balance and let her ask for you back! Goodluck ( Please answer my post) Link to post Share on other sites
fancy feast Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 You handled the situation like a baller. Keep it up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crederer Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 I mean if she was the one that did the dumping, she needs to work for you if she wants you back. Reading your story, it defiantly seems like she still has strong feelings for you and it really bothers her if you are seeing other girls or enjoying your single life. I really think shes regretting her decisions to break up with you and she is trying to see you more. I do think you should keep it cool but don't completely make her feel like you have moved on as this might make her feel hopeless and give up. Keep a balance and let her ask for you back! Goodluck ( Please answer my post) Hey. Thanks for the response. I need to point out I initiated the meeting. So I don't know if she's trying to see me more. She may have done it out of a sense of duty. I gave her the option of exchanging our stuff through other people but then she came back with a date that she was free to meet. So I don't really know how to read that. And she knows I want to be with her. I, regretfully, called her a few days after the break up. I basically said to her that she has a void in her life. It's not about possessions, objects, friends, or any other relationship but it is something from within (she is constantly buying clothes, accessories, complaining about her job, pushing friends away, pushing me away, etc. Suffers from depression and anxiety). I said I love her. If she ever figures things out, and I'm still around, we can maybe chat about the possibility of reconciling but until then, I'm going to do my own thing. Her response was "I know that". I regret it because after that I felt like she had me in her back pocket. I hope this interaction helped me even the playing field, so to speak. We agreed we can be friends from a distance. I said "we obviously can't hang out but if you ever feel you need to talk to me about anything I will be here to listen. I truly mean that. I also don't want to act like we don't know each other when we bump into one another (we have a lot of mutual friends and it's only a matter of time)". She said "thanks, that really means a lot to me". I really don't think I have anything else to do going forward to help aid in getting us back together. I'm not going to contact her again (unless she contacts me) until her birthday, just so she knows I still care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GB25 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Yes, you feel great now that you were able to see her and are probably saying to yourself that it felt great and thats just what you needed. I agree you handled it well, kept you're poker face. The emotional crash is going to be even harder when you realize there is no longevity behind the meeting. If you are still emotionally connected to this girl, which it seems you are..you got you're fix and even got more by her showing some jealousy and sadness about the BU, but when the initial "high" wears off you are going to want more and you're going to want it bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crederer Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 You may be right. I feel that I have come to terms with the break up. I'm not expecting her back, nor do I need her. I just want her. I'm generally a pretty strong person. I think I've handled the hardest part of this already and whatever I feel down the road I think I will be able to handle. But I guess only time will tell.... I have a good group of friends and I'm generally pretty good with the ladies. I'll be good either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Addison312 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 So ... I'm glad you're feeling well, but you met up with her to prove something to her. That sounds pretty pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
Skalabanan Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 You initiated the meet up. End. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I met my ex a week and a half ago...screwed with my head after a couple of days...back to NC for good now...good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts