Mantha03 Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now and the first six months we were living together. I got pregnant we started fighting bad and broke up, so I moved out. I lost the baby and we got back together. So for the past seven or eight months we have been living separately. He wanted me to move back in with him about a month ago but I declined. I declined reason being that we still have issues to work out and I won't bring my daughter into a home with dysfunction. Every time we get into a fight he gets mad and goes to drastic measures like if we should stay together or what not. Well I refuse to move in and deal with the stress of having to maybe move again every time we disagree. So since then he has been making hardly anytime for us and he justifies it by saying "We don't live together or else we would have more time." When the past seven or eight months we spent a lot of time together. Why is he pitching such a fit when he knows we are not ready to live together again?
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Sounds like a bad relationship from the start, you should have never even gotten back with him, especially considering the circumstances. Obviously you have some issues of your own or you wouldn't be with a guy that provides a destructive relationship and constant arguing/fighting it seems. But you're wise enough to know better this time around and not have moved back in with him, he's now becoming resentful that he is not getting his way...he could care less about the issues and thinks they'll just work themselves out magically, if he even expects them to be resolved. I think he's thinking entirely about himself if he's not even addressing your concerns. Takes two to be in a dysfunctional relationship however, always remember that, you have the option to walk away at any time...albeit rather difficult thing to do it's still the best thing to do, after all that's what a "normal" person would do anyway, right? I doubt any real work or resolution is going to be accomplished in this relationship, sounds like he's got issues and you've got your own and that be a a very bad thing depending on the combination and how bad the fighting gets, it can be dangerous and definitely get worse...it will get worse over time. Unless you're both going to counseling and working on your issues with them out in the open I don't see how any progress is being made, what exactly do you think is being done to better this relationship? Chances are band-aid after band-aid, might be time to ask yourself if you two really belong together instead of just asking the same questions to yourself that just lead you in circles...you already know how he is and how he acts, this really can't be a surprise to you at this point in the relationship.
Author Mantha03 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Sounds like a bad relationship from the start, you should have never even gotten back with him, especially considering the circumstances. Obviously you have some issues of your own or you wouldn't be with a guy that provides a destructive relationship and constant arguing/fighting it seems. But you're wise enough to know better this time around and not have moved back in with him, he's now becoming resentful that he is not getting his way...he could care less about the issues and thinks they'll just work themselves out magically, if he even expects them to be resolved. I think he's thinking entirely about himself if he's not even addressing your concerns. Takes two to be in a dysfunctional relationship however, always remember that, you have the option to walk away at any time...albeit rather difficult thing to do it's still the best thing to do, after all that's what a "normal" person would do anyway, right? I doubt any real work or resolution is going to be accomplished in this relationship, sounds like he's got issues and you've got your own and that be a a very bad thing depending on the combination and how bad the fighting gets, it can be dangerous and definitely get worse...it will get worse over time. Unless you're both going to counseling and working on your issues with them out in the open I don't see how any progress is being made, what exactly do you think is being done to better this relationship? Chances are band-aid after band-aid, might be time to ask yourself if you two really belong together instead of just asking the same questions to yourself that just lead you in circles...you already know how he is and how he acts, this really can't be a surprise to you at this point in the relationship.e Well I think my issue is, I care too much when I probably should not. Our fighting has gone down significantly we get along now it's just happens when we do disagree he over reacts. It's gotten a lot better with giving each other space and learning how to communicate well with one another. I just felt like he is being selfish about this and needed a second opinion that is unbiased. Because I did put my foot down and told him he is being ridiculous and I'm not going to put up with it. I haven't heard anything back so I guess if I don't the time we haven't spent together is just preparation for what is to come. Counseling I have thought about it but don't know if it's worth it anymore.
Eggplant Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 So since then he has been making hardly anytime for us and he justifies it by saying "We don't live together or else we would have more time." When the past seven or eight months we spent a lot of time together. Why is he pitching such a fit when he knows we are not ready to live together again? He should propose, if that's what he wants. 1
Treasa Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 He sounds manipulative, controlling, and childish. Dump him and date an adult.
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