Maybe I should end it now.

[Silly24]

I've been dating this man for a while now, he has made it clear that he wants a relationship, but we're taking is slow.

 

This past weekend, we went out with my girlfriend and her husband. This was the frist time he met my girlfriend. I know she sent him a friend request on FB. Today I saw that he posted that he liked various pictures of just her alone. She is very attractive.

 

This is weird isn't it? It's not like I wouldn't know...it's posted on my wall.

 

Opinions please?

 

If I'm wasting my time, I'd rather know now.

[Treasa]

Has he liked any other photos to the same degree? What does friend or her husband think of it?

 

If it was several photos and sort of out of the blue, I'd let him go. However, I'm NOT looking for a relationship. It makes it pretty easy for me to let a guy go.

[Swansea]

I've been dating this man for a while now, he has made it clear that he wants a relationship, but we're taking is slow.

 

This past weekend, we went out with my girlfriend and her husband. This was the frist time he met my girlfriend. I know she sent him a friend request on FB. Today I saw that he posted that he liked various pictures of just her alone. She is very attractive.

 

This is weird isn't it? It's not like I wouldn't know...it's posted on my wall.

 

Opinions please?

 

If I'm wasting my time, I'd rather know now.

Based just on this no...

 

So what makes you think so drastically?

 

Is he giving u reason to not trust him?

 

do u have your own trust issues?

 

It could be considered weird but lets not jump to conclusions, why the reaction of ending it all?

[Treasa]

I would like things that past boyfriends' friends would post, but it'd be more comments or goofy photos than anything, and never more than once in a while.

 

I guess it depends on how it makes you feel.

[Lani]

This seems like an over-reaction to me, and a little like you have insecurities about your friends attractiveness to men you're dating.

 

He liked a few of her photos, and you're thinking about breaking up with him?

 

Then you should probably also stop being friends with her too, because she requested to be his friend in the first place when she knows he's your boyfriend. You should also tell her husband.

See how crazy that sounds?

 

Just relax. This probably shouldn't even be an issue.

[foreverandalways]

My boyfriends think some of my friends are very pretty. They are. But I don't feel insecure about it at all.

 

But I also know my boyfriend would never act on anything, jeopardizing our relationship over something stupid isn't worth that. Plus I trust my friends.

 

None of them have given me a reason to think that we all shouldn't hang out or anything. Until you start suspecting something, don't worry about it.

[Silly24]

Fair feedback...thank you.

 

It seems weird since he doesn't really know her and expressed concerns that she drank too much the night we were out together and was too flirty in front of her husband.

 

Then again, he must know that I and her husband can see his posts...they are out here in the open.

 

Just strange...I would never do this.

[Lani]

Fair feedback...thank you.

 

It seems weird since he doesn't really know her and expressed concerns that she drank too much the night we were out together and was too flirty in front of her husband.

 

Then again, he must know that I and her husband can see his posts...they are out here in the open.

 

Just strange...I would never do this.

 

Maybe you would never do this, but you are not him.

 

If it's a problem then you could mention it to him. I don't think it's a great idea, but it's better than him continuing to do it without knowing it annoys you.

You'll build it up into more than it is, and break up with a probably decent guy for some behaviour he didn't know he needed to curb.

[Feelin Frisky]

Advice, kill Face Book. There is no generation who has ever had this and no lore, legend, lore or literature on what any of it means. Sorry for the rant but you don't give a powerful social network to a culture of socially illiterate people whom have all been processed through an education factory where social development is entirely neglected. That off my chest (again), I don't know how long it has been going on but if you're in a for real relationship, he should be in communication with her--at least no more than one "nice to have met you, that picture flatters you. After that it's playing with fire. I am not in a relationship and am free to do what I want, but it's pretty obvious when you're long-dicking someone else's g/f and even worse to do it when your own g/f can be hurt by it. Face Book causes so much trouble, I don't touch it--it has half my family alienated from the other and the gossip by mouth about it has me alienated from two of my brothers whom up to that point I would have given a kidney to if they needed it.

[Silly24]

Well, I can't deny that it is weird and obvious. I would prefer to be with a man who can avoid such obvious attention.

 

Oh well...back to the drawing board...lol.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Yeah don't jump on the bandwagon of the typical "My boyfriend would never do this or that because I trust him completely"...I swear I knew some women that said that about their BF's and they had no idea the crap they were doing behind her back, so it's good you're considering this and being aware of any flags.

 

I think mostly this is bad form and taste by this guy, I mean that's a pretty silly/stupid thing to do if you ask me. Liking a married woman's photos on FB when you just met her? who and why would someone be "ok" with this?

 

It's one thing for a man to think something, but to actually express that, especially on a platform like FB it's definitely going to raise and eye-brow, so I'd knock him down a peg on the competency rating, because that's just a foolish move on his part.

 

I think personally he's very attracted and showing a concern for this woman because he's a little too aware of her, I think he's definitely into her.

 

If she's an attractive woman though and normally gets this kind of attention, let him kind of get over it because he may just be a little smitten by her physically...once he's shaken it off he may recognize that reaction within himself and pull back and act more appropriately. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but it's not very appropriate to express that to your significant other, and that includes especially a platform on FB that is so public and typically family oriented.

 

So that's why he liked those photos, I don't think he's thinking with the right mind...is it a deal-breaker? up to you, definitely something I'd consider personally, as the character of a man should be a bit stronger if he's not particularly young...I mean that should be a no-brainer and obvious move not to do....SHOULD have been.

 

He might always have a crush on this girl, but never act on it. But like I said, if she's the kind of girl that simply makes men go ga-ga, that might be a little bit of a difficult problem for the average guy to manage, hopefully he doesn't prove to be an incompetent man...however the likely-hood is probable, that's just a silly move and maybe he's not the type to think before he speaks/acts, or maybe he just got caught up this one time.

 

Would need more information about this guy, this alone doesn't say everything about him and his character, but it's not a positive sign either IMO...especially if he turns out to be the flirtatious type, that might not be a very compatible match for you.

[dchin1985]

Silly24.

 

You see everyone is unique, maybe he just want to connect with your friends as well, as in you have welcomed him into your life. This is one way to view it. And he knows she is married, so that should be ok and less inappropriate.

 

But personally, if i am in a relationship and i love my partner, i would not have done that or I would comment but ensure my partner of her importance to me.

[Silly24]

Yeah don't jump on the bandwagon of the typical "My boyfriend would never do this or that because I trust him completely"...I swear I knew some women that said that about their BF's and they had no idea the crap they were doing behind her back, so it's good you're considering this and being aware of any flags.

 

I think mostly this is bad form and taste by this guy, I mean that's a pretty silly/stupid thing to do if you ask me. Liking a married woman's photos on FB when you just met her? who and why would someone be "ok" with this?

 

It's one thing for a man to think something, but to actually express that, especially on a platform like FB it's definitely going to raise and eye-brow, so I'd knock him down a peg on the competency rating, because that's just a foolish move on his part.

 

I think personally he's very attracted and showing a concern for this woman because he's a little too aware of her, I think he's definitely into her.

 

If she's an attractive woman though and normally gets this kind of attention, let him kind of get over it because he may just be a little smitten by her physically[b/]...once he's shaken it off he may recognize that reaction within himself and pull back and act more appropriately. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but it's not very appropriate to express that to your significant other, and that includes especially a platform on FB that is so public and typically family oriented.

 

So that's why he liked those photos, I don't think he's thinking with the right mind...is it a deal-breaker? up to you, definitely something I'd consider personally, as the character of a man should be a bit stronger if he's not particularly young...I mean that should be a no-brainer and obvious move not to do....SHOULD have been.

 

He might always have a crush on this girl, but never act on it. But like I said, if she's the kind of girl that simply makes men go ga-ga, that might be a little bit of a difficult problem for the average guy to manage, hopefully he doesn't prove to be an incompetent man...however the likely-hood is probable, that's just a silly move and maybe he's not the type to think before he speaks/acts, or maybe he just got caught up this one time.

 

Would need more information about this guy, this alone doesn't say everything about him and his character, but it's not a positive sign either IMO...especially if he turns out to be the flirtatious type, that might not be a very compatible match for you.

 

Shouldn't he be smitten with me only for at least the short run and not my "married" friend? I don't think I'm asking much. Just a few weeks and then move on...or just move on right away.

 

It's fine if he doesn't want me...this isn't new to me or anyone else in the dating world...but my married gf? Ugh....

[Ninjainpajamas]

Shouldn't he be smitten with me only for at least the short run and not my "married" friend? I don't think I'm asking much. Just a few weeks and then move on...or just move on right away.

 

It's fine if he doesn't want me...this isn't new to me or anyone else in the dating world...but my married gf? Ugh....

 

Of course, he should be making you feel like the center of his attention, the priority...not making you insecure by liking your hot friends photos on FB. But women often tell me that they have to deal with that kind of behavior because that's how men are...and clearly some women are accepting of that behavior on here.

 

I understand where you're coming from, you should have a conversation with him about it if you'd like, otherwise from my perspective I would just need to know more about how interested this guy really is, because at this moment I'm questioning that, especially since you are...even though you might be a bit on the insecure/protective side.

[KraftDinner]

End it. Seriously.

 

Otherwise, this is your future: "Why can't I have female friends? You're trying to control me." May seem like I'm jumping to a conclusion, but he's being very blatant, commenting on her pics. His boundaries are questionable.

[Silly24]

LOL...how do you bring up a topic of "hey why are you checking out my girl friend on Facebook" with a man you just starting dating?

 

You end up being one of the following:

1 The crazy new girlfriend who is possesive

2. The crazy new girlfriend who suspects every man cheats on her

3. The crazy new girlfriend....

 

I have no "win" here other than to walk way quitely and respectfully...

[Eternal Sunshine]

Seriously if it's at the early stage, I would walk away. This would be disturbing and you don't want someone secretly crushing on your friend and possibly trying to make something happen behind your back. He obviously has poor self control, this is in bad taste.

[Eternal Sunshine]

LOL...how do you bring up a topic of "hey why are you checking out my girl friend on Facebook" with a man you just starting dating?

 

You end up being one of the following:

1 The crazy new girlfriend who is possesive

2. The crazy new girlfriend who suspects every man cheats on her

3. The crazy new girlfriend....

 

I have no "win" here other than to walk way quitely and respectfully...

 

If you think he is worth it, just say it bluntly. I had this happen once and the guy was happy about it and he thought it was cute that I was jealous It even led to him saying I love you for the first time.

[Ninjainpajamas]

LOL...how do you bring up a topic of "hey why are you checking out my girl friend on Facebook" with a man you just starting dating?

 

You end up being one of the following:

1 The crazy new girlfriend who is possesive

2. The crazy new girlfriend who suspects every man cheats on her

3. The crazy new girlfriend....

 

I have no "win" here other than to walk way quitely and respectfully...

 

I was thinking something subtle like...

 

It all starts with you drugging his drink...when he wakes up, he'll be tied to a chair and in fear of his life but half drowsy...the conversation/interrogation ensues from this point.

 

:: You grab him by his ear and twist it...hard ::

 

Him: Ahh ahh, what the hell?

You: Does it say dumb b!!tch on my forehead?

Him: What?

:: slap him in the face with your palm ::

You: Does it say dumb b!!tch on my forehead?

Him: No!

You: Then why did you treat me like a dumb b!!tch by liking my attractive friends photos on FB, do I look dumb to you? you think everybody doesn't know what that means...idiot! You just met her and now you make me look like a fool...and she's married!

Him: I'm sorry...I was just being friendly, she's married, why would I even hit on her? It was harmless...I swear!

You: Yeah right douchebag!

 

At this point you plug his nose and force him to drink some more sedative...drag him into bed and then you wake up the next morning.

 

Then he has to figure out if this is a dream or reality, he will be forced to confess and talk about/and or run away in fear...sounds like a win to me!

 

Otherwise you'll have to ask him indirectly about this and try to get a feel for his opinion on this or your friend, you can't just ask him directly, he'll just fabricate a lie....you never want to approach a man about something you find his behavior suspicious, that'll just allow him time to come up with some BS explanation.

 

If you really think he's worth it, and he's been this amazing guy otherwise then I guess this is something you can cut him some slack on, use the 3 strike rule. Otherwise if this is early on then I'd say cut your losses.

 

I just don't see many women capable of making those difficult decisions without having to "fight" for the relationship or work through the "ups and downs"...it's true compatibility and communication are important but if you're certain this is something that just doesn't feel right and is going to be the tip of the iceberg based on how you feel and your experience, don't wait until you're emotionally invested and regretting it because this lead to something else. Really asses this the situation objectively and try to make the right decision for yourself, and then stick with it, don't go back and forth that just makes you look weak and like someone who can be taken advantage of.

[Silly24]

Well, I've decide I will remain friendly with him, but my gut tells me this is not a right fit. I thought about if I had met his married buddy and the next day I took the time to go through his buddy's pictures on FB and then posted publically that I liked his buddy's pictures of just him alone....I don't believe the man I am (was) dating would appreciate this either.

 

In the past I have over looked or rationalized behavior and thought that giving the person the benefit of the doubt; they are a good person treatment was the right way to go. But I paid for all those rationalizations over and over. My first feeling always proved to be true.

 

So maybe this guy is the right one; but I have to just go with my gut and end it before I get too deep.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Well, I've decide I will remain friendly with him, but my gut tells me this is not a right fit. I thought about if I had met his married buddy and the next day I took the time to go through his buddy's pictures on FB and then posted publically that I liked his buddy's pictures of just him alone....I don't believe the man I am (was) dating would appreciate this either.

 

In the past I have over looked or rationalized behavior and thought that giving the person the benefit of the doubt; they are a good person treatment was the right way to go. But I paid for all those rationalizations over and over. My first feeling always proved to be true.

 

So maybe this guy is the right one; but I have to just go with my gut and end it before I get too deep.

 

I hope you do. When a guy is smitten, he simply doesn't do this.

[Eternal Sunshine]

This is fine, and may very well prove to be the right move.

 

But for future reference, sometimes when you prejudge or carry a certain insecurity into a relationship, it can manifest itself the wrong way, because you start looking for things that arent there but you're convinced they are.

 

It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. My quip above about my ex posting here was based on that. I feel like I could write a book on it.

 

I don't see how your ex W was wrong in any way. You wrote here that you fell for another woman AT YOUR OWN WEDDING. And that woman was your wife's close friend. Your ex W may have been suspicious of wrong women or situations, but her gut instinct was spot on.

[pbjbear]

If a guy was dating a girl and she went onto Facebook and did this there with his guy friend there would be a thread on it with many guys responding shes untrustworthy and not girlfriend material. Double standard.

 

Another example of how guys dont hold themselves to the same standard of behavior they expect from women that date them.

 

Dump him and ignore all of these other posters.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I disagree with people on this.

Break up with him. He sounds immature and doesnt understand boundaries.

He should be focusing on you in the beginning. You havent been dating for long and hes already going onto to Facebook and "liking" several photos where it is just HER? I get making comments on photos in general, but silly comments.

Im a guy- if a girl did this to me (liked many photos on Facebook of a guy friend of mine in alone pictures) itd be a red flag to me.

Any guy who is really into you wouldnt be doing this...and Im a guy.

If you think this is normal behavior, can you be happy with him doing this all the time? Because he seems to think its normal so its bound to keep happening.

 

I can't believe people are so relaxed about this.

[BluEyeL]

I'd watch him for a little longer, just in case, you guys might be overreacting. I'd see how he behaves towards you in general, does he seem smitten? What do his other actions tell you? I think there are a lot of variables that would influence my decision in this situation.