What is it like to be a very good looking guy?

[cerridwen]

And I mean objectively very good-looking with a movie star handsome face--not somebody who is simply well groomed and in shape.

 

Do you have women throw themselves at you constantly? Do you rarely approach women? Do you find it harder to commit? Do you place a high value in the attractiveness of your partners? Or do you resent the attention you get for your looks and try to remove yourself from it?

 

We often hear about the experiences of beautiful women but I've always been curious about what it's like for a guy to be very physically attractive, partly because I think it is rare for men to be objectified for their looks so it must be an odd feeling for them.

 

I know two men who meet your description.

One is my exH and the other is a good friend.

 

They couldn't be more different in their reactions to the attention.

 

My ex didn't find it hard to commit.

He is monogamous and extremely loyal.

He could have "played the field" but he settled down with me at an early age.

We were together a long time.

 

Women stare and smile at him wherever we go but he barely seems aware of it, let alone resentful.

 

He didn't acknowledge the attention on any level, even if I blatantly

pointed it out.

He'd just dismiss it with a laugh.

If anything, it embarrassed him.

It used to actually aggrevate me; not the attention, but his brushing it off!

It was like he didn't believe me or thought it was silly to even mention.

When I would say "Did you see her almost break her neck straining to look at you?"

He'd just laugh, kiss the top of my head and say, "You're cute."

Grrrrr.

 

The other guy is a friend and he eats it up.

Yes, he found it hard to commit.

He still approaches women but from what I witnessed it is like shooting fish in a barrel.

If they are single, he gets their number.

He does put a high premium on what they look like but not at the exclusion of everything else.

Resentful of the attention?

Unlikely.

Basking in it in Southern California is more like it.

[NGC1300]

I'm not conceited, but I know I'm good looking.

 

No, women do not approach me. The most I'll notice are them looking sometimes, but that's it.

 

In our culture women generally do not approach men, or take any initiative in that regard.

 

Also, I should concede that I'm not a social person, and generally act withdrawn. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if my good looks were coupled with a strong, confident personality.

[candie13]

that's precisely the type of insight I find interesting. We all see that highly attractive guys get hit on all the time and have women flock them.

 

But... the real question is what does this do to them? Does it mess with their head? Do they start disconsidering women, because they deliver themselves so easily, like sheep go to the wolf asking "hey, fancy a lamb rack"?

 

Does this f"ck with their mind - someone who has amazing looks somehow raises the expectation of having this "amazing" personality / substance. Or bedroom skills. How do they handle the expectations of matching their looks with the depth of their opinions (if any:))? Does it mess their self esteem?

 

Does it make them consider women as mass product, interchangeable and not that differentiated between themselves - since he has free / easy access to almost all of them?

 

Do they get involved / fall inlove? Does it alter their inner fears / willingness to commit / start and stay in committed relationships?

 

I don't actually do "pretty boys", so it'd be interested to find out how the world looks like from their perspective.

 

I know two men who meet your description.

One is my exH and the other is a good friend.

 

They couldn't be more different in their reactions to the attention.

 

My ex didn't find it hard to commit.

He is monogamous and extremely loyal.

He could have "played the field" but he settled down with me at an early age.

We were together a long time.

 

Women stare and smile at him wherever we go but he barely seems aware of it, let alone resentful.

 

He didn't acknowledge the attention on any level, even if I blatantly

pointed it out.

He'd just dismiss it with a laugh.

If anything, it embarrassed him.

It used to actually aggrevate me; not the attention, but his brushing it off!

It was like he didn't believe me or thought it was silly to even mention.

When I would say "Did you see her almost break her neck straining to look at you?"

He'd just laugh, kiss the top of my head and say, "You're cute."

Grrrrr.

 

The other guy is a friend and he eats it up.

Yes, he found it hard to commit.

He still approaches women but from what I witnessed it is like shooting fish in a barrel.

If they are single, he gets their number.

He does put a high premium on what they look like but not at the exclusion of everything else.

Resentful of the attention?

Unlikely.

Basking in it in Southern California is more like it.

[SteveC80]

I loved the constant attention at first it stroked my ego i felt like i could easily get most women then it got draining when i realized that women are creepier then men when dealing with people they really find attractive,groping staring etc but women arent called out on it like guys are because most men dont mind or maybe becausewe dont feel physically in danger like when it happens the other way around.

 

Id also say the worst part was beign hit on by tons of married women including a few friends wives that really screwed up my head and made me not trust most women thinking they can easily stray from their husband simply because they saw a hot guy.

[Els]

Back in college, there were two guys who were literally known throughout the faculty as hot stuff. It's important to note that there were probably other equally good-looking guys, but these two were the most popular because they were also well-dressed, rich, smart, spoke well, and I think they could play music or something.

 

Girls absolutely did go ga-ga over them. One of them happened to know me from a club that we were both in. I was once seated with a group of girlfriends when he passed by and casually greeted me. Once he'd left, the girls lost no time enthusing about him and demanding to know everything I knew about him and if I had his phone number and could I give it to them (they hadn't known that I'd known him prior).

 

I don't think they got 'approached' much in the blatant sense of being asked out that guys consider 'approaching'. But they sure as hell got lots of giggles, flirting, coy moves... which they surely must have noticed.

[Keenly]

I like to think all around I'm a pretty attractive guy. I get signals a lot, and sometimes women will approach me with random conversation, but only three times have hey ever come right out and made their intentions black and white. I rarely approach, because most of the girls I see are definitely not what I'm looking for. When I do approach, I'm hardly ever rejected. Recently I got turned down when I asked for a number but it was because I was pretty forward about it.

 

 

But then again, I'm not the best looking guy around, but I know I'm fairly attractive.

[Kamille]

My ex could be considered hot by women, such as me, who were into his style. It happened fairly often that women would kind of go "gaga" around him, either straight up commenting on his good looks or finding reasons to touch him - even when I was there.

 

Friends and colleagues often commented on how lucky I was to date him, how hot he was.

 

He was completely oblivious to it and had no idea that he had that effect on women. He would always discount it as anecdotal when I pointed it out. And, now that he is single again, he is struggling to meet someone he clicks with - which seems to be what he's looking for.

 

So I guess, from his point of view, being good lokking doesn't make it any easier to find the right partner.

[normal person]

 

So I guess, from his point of view, being good lokking doesn't make it any easier to find the right partner.

 

Agree.

 

Lots of times attraction can be subjective and all, but I find that if a girl thinks you're that much better looking than her she can get very insecure about it. Either she wants to feel like she's the pretty/good looking one or she'll be constantly worried that you've got plenty of other options and that you're going to leave her.

[Star Gazer]

There aren't many guys on LS who can answer this...

 

It's both a blessing and a curse.

 

[Els]

 

He was completely oblivious to it and had no idea that he had that effect on women. He would always discount it as anecdotal when I pointed it out. And, now that he is single again, he is struggling to meet someone he clicks with - which seems to be what he's looking for.

 

Good point. IMO it's definitely hard in general for people to find someone they click with, assuming that is a major prerequisite for them in a relationship. I don't think very good-looking people have it easier in this aspect than the average person. They get a lot more attention and a greater quantity of suitors, which, sure, must be nice. But you don't find people whom you click with and who believe that they themselves click with you (very important!) very often. And when you do, the person is unlikely to turn you down just because you look like the girl/guy next door instead of Mila Kunis or Brad Pitt (or, my latest favourite, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau ).

[Anela]

I've known a guy like this in school, and mentioned him before. We were good friends, always spending time together, but mainly in a group. He was always hanging around, and I was teased over it - my mother was picturing us getting married and having babies, because she adored him!

 

We both moved to the area at the same time, and I remember the first day of school: the girls were *swooning*, and I couldn't understand why (until later, when he gave me one of my sweetest memories - and it isn't dirty, so don't take it there ). They all thought he was gorgeous, and he dated several of my friends at the same time - girls would throw themselves at him, and didn't seem to mind that they weren't the sole focus of his attention - I thought that was weird.

 

He has been happily married for the past three years now, and he met his wife long before they were married, and remained monogamous, although he used to be quite the partier, apparently. A couple of years ago, I saw someone post a reminder on his FB wall, that he was the one who took her virginity. I wouldn't have been interested in dating him, as long as he was enjoying this effect he has on the opposite sex (and actually partaking in certain activities), but it turns out he's a trustworthy guy - he really is as good a person as he seemed to be. I liked him because he was kind to everyone, and he liked girls/women for more than what they had to offer him sexually.

[Revolver]

The difference between the average guy and the good looking guy is women go out of their way to make the good looking guy know they like him. Like youd have to be a complete Dumbass not to get the massive "hints"

[AD1980]

I have no idea but id love to test it out for a day see the difference in how women treat meat first sight

[Kamille]

I have no idea but id love to test it out for a day see the difference in how women treat meat first sight

 

Freudian slip or pun intended?

[AD1980]

Freudian slip or pun intended?

 

For you to decide:love:

 

No i just f'd up:laugh:

[Feelin Frisky]

That's not true, I've seen several good looking men here

 

 

For whatever reason though, there seems to be much lower standards for what is considered good looking for women than men. Any halfway cute young girl who is not fat is considered "hot" and can date most men. Yet the only men I see really being considered "hot" are those who are in like in the top 5% of facial genetics. I see plenty of guys who look very good (at least to my untrained eye) who are in great shape who aren't considered anything special. I wonder why that is? I think they've done studies on how a much smaller percentage of men are attractive to women than vice versa

 

That wasn't a categorical dismissal that there are no good looking guys on this forum. It was after I re-read the OP and he said "movie star looks" and asked how it is with women. I don't know what movie star looks means but I know when I looked my best, dressed well, wore Izod prescription sunglasses, bought a new GT, there was a lot of attention. I lived in NYC and I firmly believed that no one was coming to my house to discover me though. So I put myself out there every night either at School of Visual Arts or Pace University or trade associations, got invited into UN/NGO circles became publication designer, journalist all that kind of stuff. And if you're reasonably handsome and dress like you know how, yes, women will try to get to know you. You don't have to look like Don Johnson circa 1984. My kisser was good enough and being 6'3 and have blue eyes and a full head of hair helped me to feel like I should be pleased with myself. Ive been to hell a few times since so I can only speak in the past. I don't think a dude having a 6 pack automatically makes him good looking. Things that make for a good looking face of either gender is spacing and shape of eyes, proportionate nose, I had excellent teeth all of which I lost and now have implants. It's not the same though. You have to have symmetry. Ears basically at the same level. Real movie star looks I think include a Robert Redford jaw where it spreads out in the back or that kinda Harry Hamlin square head face. Symetry in the mug is a great start. I f you have dimples that aren't feminine that's a big plus. I notice women with dimples. And I have em too, it's like a clef in the chin or something--it gets people to look twice at you to explore your face. That can mean fame and fortune if you get a break. People like to stock their world's with people they like to look at.

[USMCHokie]

I don't think a dude having a 6 pack automatically makes him good looking. Things that make for a good looking face of either gender is spacing and shape of eyes, proportionate nose, I had excellent teeth all of which I lost and now have implants. It's not the same though. You have to have symmetry. Ears basically at the same level.

 

In general, I believe that women value facial features over physique, while men value physique over facial features.

[EasyHeart]

I get tired of women who treat me like a piece of meat. I have a brain, dammit!!! And feelings! I'm more than just a tasty piece of beefcake, but it's hard for a lot of women to see that.

[Archgirl]

I get tired of women who treat me like a piece of meat. I have a brain, dammit!!! And feelings! I'm more than just a tasty piece of beefcake, but it's hard for a lot of women to see that.

 

 

I value you for your brain!! I swear!!

 

Can we make-out now? :bunny::bunny:

 

mmmm beef cake mmm:love:

[EasyHeart]

I value you for your brain!! I swear!!

 

Can we make-out now? :bunny::bunny:

 

mmmm beef cake mmm:love:

Typical woman. You're just telling me what you think I want to hear!!!

[Archgirl]

Typical woman. You're just telling me what you think I want to hear!!!

 

 

You're soooo right!

 

Wanna make-out out back anyways?

[PJKino]

My best friend is good looking and it seems awesome he has women hitting on him all the time saying how hot he is.wherever he goes women check him out an smile at him he always has many great options and has fun..being invsible to women kinda sucks in general but especially next to him i feel like a even bigger unattractive loser..

 

Though women hear will say when a good looking guy is approached all the time and does great with women it has nothign to do with his looks a lot its because of his personality and his confidence and not the fact that maybe women are as shallow as men

[iris219]

You're soooo right!

 

Wanna make-out out back anyways?

 

Your avatar is confusing me! I read this and was trying to figure out why Hokie was asking EasHeart to make out.

 

On topic: My ex was attractive, but he had no idea how to talk to women. Women would smile at him or try to make conversation, but he didn't know what to do with it. If he had been unattractive, he would be hopeless when it came to dating, but being attractive didn't entirely make up for his lack of social skills.

 

An attractive guy with a good personality will rarely be single, unless he chooses to be.

[RandomName12]

Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting

Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting

 

Not really sure if I qualify as 'movie star' good looks but I've been told Im a very good looking guy by many women throughout my life, as well as seeming to get more attention than most from women. It is a nice feeling, tend to get a lot of looks and playful banter however I have not been with a women for over two years due to looking for that right person.

 

That being said I'm not a very outgoing person and the most social contact I get is at work, I do, however, know of multiple women who are attracted to me in work, some told me and I've called others out on it after they've made various comments about me.

 

Probably worth mentioning I have very withdrawn days where I don't like to talk to people very often, on these days I get a lot less looks, attention and playful banter with women so I think a lot of it is the confidence you exhume not just the looks, I know many 'average' looking guys who seem to get a nice bit of attention from the ladies as well.

Edited April 18, 2013 by RandomName12

[SensitiveTJ]

I'm not sure what exactly the OP is looking for, but I suppose being very good looking has its perks. I see quite a lot of guys bemoaning their lack of success with online dating on this site, but I quite enjoyed my experience on OkCupid. I had new women messaging me every 2-3 days, and I got a lot of good dates out of it. I also had some very unattractive ladies propositioning me for sex, haha, but that's life. To be quite honest, being exceptionally good-looking isn't always fun and games. Sometimes you have to deflect away unwanted attention that could be dangerous. I am a high school teacher by trade, and on multiple occasions I have had to deal with female students being too forward, whether it's in person or through social media. That can be very harrowing.