sunshine001 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) Hi. My live-in bf of one year made me move out of his place. We had a pretty bitter breakup. I really wanted to be with him (sorry don’t mean to sound needy but what I am trying to say is that really wanted to work on our relationship). My ex is quite complex and slightly on the flaky side and that is one flaw that I could not overlook in him. So much so that it just was a flaw in his character in my eyes. However, those are some of those stubborn attitude things that could be changed possibly I believe. After making me move out he went back and forth saying ‘I still love you” then ‘No, we are broken up’ then ‘We are broken up for now and let’s see if we can date each other again’. A good friend of his is getting married and asked him to be the best man at his wedding. Don’t know what happened to my ex but he called me and invited me to his place, held my hand, kissed me on the forehead and then when I said ‘I miss you and really want us to be together again. We were so good together and happy’ – he says ‘No! Let’s see.. Not yet. There is no rush. Let’s take our own time’. Then I said ‘Well, why do we need to take time? I want to spend some beautiful memories with you and meeting once or twice a week is not enough for me. I need to spend quality time with you for this relationship to grow.’ Then he says ‘No, let’s wait please’. I said ‘How long should I wait? It’s been 3 months now.. Going on 4. I want to know what’s going on as well. Need to know if you even want to be with me or not. It’s like I am just hanging in there’. Then he says ‘We are broken up for now. Let’s see how things go and if they go well then we date each other but for now we are broken up’. Ex is around 35 years old going on 36 (I am 29). He possibly needs space which I understand. It’s almost 4 months now and there are a bunch of other men who are interested in me and I really want to move on but still want to hold on to this guy as I love him still. The last time I saw my ex (which was 2 weeks back) it was quite painful. Seeing him is very painful. We had almost talked about buying a house together, getting married, having children and what not. Yesterday I asked him to meet up with me for dinner tonight. However, now I feel guilty for asking to meet him. Meeting him again is going to be painful. Personally feel that I should never see him again. Find someone who will love me and be normal. This has been quite a bit of drama for me to be honest. I want to cancel our dinner tonight but need a really good excuse without giving him the hint as I don’t want to burn any bridges. For an odd reason I still love my ex a lot and would love for us to be together. It sucks that this is the situation. I wish that he felt the same way about me as I did. But well, there are around 6-7 guys who are interested in going out on dates with me and they are quite good looking, stable and nice. Although I am still afraid to put all my eggs in one basket and just in case these guys don’t work out I want to have my ex as a backup. If the ex ends up being interested in me again that would be the best thing that could happen! Reason being that I only want to be with my ex but trying to move on and see other people since he absolutely does not want to be with me. Also, I am getting quite fed up of this situation as well. I have waited for 4 months waiting for things to change and now I feel that it’s better to find someone who would be interested in me just as I am. My question is: What excuse should I make to not see my ex tonight? Thanks for reading Edited April 16, 2013 by sunshine001
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Dont you deserve better? AND doesnt he deserve to be more than a back up plan? Anyway, to answer your question, if you must not show, family member in hospital? Friend needs you? You have laundry to do? Not feeling well? I have no idea. 1
Yookie Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Be kind to yourself and let the EX go already! Go no contact and move on with your life. He's not coming back. 1
mammasita Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Why do you need an "excuse".......you make it sound like you don't want to hurt his feelings. Man up and tell him - NO - you won't have dinner with him simply because you deserve someone who knows they want you and it's obviously not him. 2
BluEyeL Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 You really need to stop seeing him and you really need to date other people, that's the only way. Don't consider him a back up plan, there is no back up, he doesn't want to be with you. Try to move on. Don't see him for dinner, doesn't matter what reason.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 How about, "no thank you. I'm not available."
outsidethebox Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Your excuse: "‘About that dinner.. not yet. There is no rush. Let’s have it some other time". 3
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