CryForNoOne Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I live in a neighborhood that is a HUGE tourist draw. Lots of bars and pubs that are a constant mix of locals, foreigners, and tourists. Time and time again I've noticed that the girls that are the most approachable are the ones that are visiting. Now that may not really be a surprise to anyone but the huge difference in behavior and attitude between them and local girls never ceases to amaze me. The moment I drop an ice breaker, it's like opening a water tap and they can chat and want to hang out the entire night. Very often they make it very clear that they are open to a ONS. I always know it's really on when I invite them someplace else and I get the "You only live once!" or "Why not! It's my last night here." Now mind you, these are the same EXACT types of girls that when they are locals, shut it down completely. I'm definitely not one who targets tourists... This even extends to their friends they are visiting who transform from c**kblockers to facilitators. Just last night I met a girl who was from up North and visiting her GF for a few days. The local girl made it very clear early on she has a BF and was not available. Nonetheless she sat there the entire night attentively listening to everything my wingman had to say to her. He kept on pressing but she politely did not reciprocate but was friendly all the while. She was clearly there for her friend as we were really hitting it off. There were several all too familiar moments where they were staring at an empty glass, debating if they should stay or go. Time and time again they encouraged each other to hang out a bit longer. The look I could see on her friends face was "Go for it. It's your last night here. Have fun." Ultimately I'm the one who broke things off as a) I'm not really the ONS type - though I've had a few b) I'm getting kind of involved with someone else. We friended each other on FB and who knows if she visits LA again or I end up in her town one day. She all but invited me to visit. Anyway, I have my theories of the psychology behind this behavior pattern I see over and over but wanted to hear what the ladies had to say first.
FitChick Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Men do the same thing when they are on holiday. I facilitated a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. A nice guy, a bit shy, no girlfriend. I introduced him to a co-worker who was "a sure thing" and he was happy as a clam.
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 That's not the same thing. He got laid because of the change of scenery. He didn't have two sets of morals - one for home, one for away. He would have been just as happy as a clam if it all went down in his home town. Women have two sets of rules. Men either would or wouldn't do ONS's irrespective of geography...
Imported Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 You are more free to behave differently when no one knows you and no one that knows you knows what you are doing and what you do won't bite you in the ass later. Women are diffinently a lot easier when they don't really have anyone with opinions of them that they care about looking over their shoulder and they won't be labeled the town slut. On the road, I am different too, for the same reasons. It feels free. 3
Eggplant Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 That's not the same thing. He got laid because of the change of scenery. He didn't have two sets of morals - one for home, one for away. He would have been just as happy as a clam if it all went down in his home town. Women have two sets of rules. Men either would or wouldn't do ONS's irrespective of geography...What about the men who have ONS in far away places where their wives can't see? There are also men with different rules depending on whether they are at home or away.
Eggplant Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I had a roommate one summer while I was an intern. She had the same sort of attitude -- nobody knew her, she was far away from her home town, so she wanted to flirt and fool around. (She was fairly religious and saving her virginity for marriage. Fooling around was flirting, kissing, and grinding on the dance floor.)
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 What about the men who have ONS in far away places where their wives can't see? There are also men with different rules depending on whether they are at home or away. That means they are scumbags and always have scumbag thoughts. They just act out on them when they know they won't get caught. Don't get me wrong, I've seen this with women too. Most of the REALLY loose women I've seen at bars are married + far from home. But again, not quite the behavior I'm talking about. Everybody cuts loose a little on vacation - men and women. I'm not disputing that. I'm saying it's MUCH more pronounced with a fair number of women.
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 So just date tourists then. I'm not looking for an angle here for myself. I've just made and observation and curious what women have to say about it.
SJC2008 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 What imported said... I used to work at a place where we'd have to travel now and then. Well, one time we're going out of town and one of my co-workers says "X (a married man) likes to suck ick when he goes out of town" lol. My first thought was oooookay and my second was how the hell do you know this? People change when they go out of town I guess.
MrCastle Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So just date tourists then. I am legitimately upset I didn't think of this. And I live in New York. Screw this, I'm going to Times Square. See you guys later. 5
thatone Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Enjoy catching herpes from a bisexual drug addict scammer in a cookie monster suit.
MrCastle Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Enjoy catching herpes from a bisexual drug addict scammer in a cookie monster suit. Thanks. I will. 3
Poppy fields Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I used to live in a tourist town, and both the men and women vacationers were on the prowl. How do you know for a fact these women are acting like Puritans at home?
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 I used to live in a tourist town, and both the men and women vacationers were on the prowl. How do you know for a fact these women are acting like Puritans at home? Men are ALWAYS on the prowl. Women more so when vacationing. OK So only my personal experience but I think I've got a decent sample size. I like the girl next door type. I'm not into fake breasts, girls dressed like tramps, excessive tattoos and piercings, too much makeup / perfume etc... The girls I'm attracted to rarely if ever give of signals they are open to a ONS. The one's that do, are almost always tourists. Somehow I seriously DOUBT the girl next door types in LA are all virtuous, and the ones from Melbourne, Tokyo, London, Seattle, Chicago, and Little Rock are all tramps...
Poppy fields Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Men are ALWAYS on the prowl. Women more so when vacationing. OK So only my personal experience but I think I've got a decent sample size. I like the girl next door type. I'm not into fake breasts, girls dressed like tramps, excessive tattoos and piercings, too much makeup / perfume etc... The girls I'm attracted to rarely if ever give of signals they are open to a ONS. The one's that do, are almost always tourists. Somehow I seriously DOUBT the girl next door types in LA are all virtuous, and the ones from Melbourne, Tokyo, London, Seattle, Chicago, and Little Rock are all tramps... So all tramps have fake breasts and tattoos? Girls that like books are virtuous except when they are on vacation? There are also plenty of local women sleeping with the male tourists. I used to be one of them and I don't have fake breasts. I do have a tattoo though it is not of the tramp stamp variety.
StanMusial Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 What happens in INSERT TOWN HERE, stays in INSERT TOWN HERE. 1
Treasa Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Oh great, I'm the nerd who isn't even thinking about sex when I go traveling and am too much into the "new stuff" to see. 4
ScreamingTrees Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 That means they are scumbags and always have scumbag thoughts. They just act out on them when they know they won't get caught. Don't get me wrong, I've seen this with women too. Most of the REALLY loose women I've seen at bars are married + far from home. But again, not quite the behavior I'm talking about. Everybody cuts loose a little on vacation - men and women. I'm not disputing that. I'm saying it's MUCH more pronounced with a fair number of women. Eh? You're a scumbag for doing that no matter who you are or what's in your pants.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Well, people do have a different mentality when they're on vacation. But what makes you think local women don't like one night stands? I haven't found there to be much of a difference between girls that are on vacation and those that aren't.
Trimmer Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 So all tramps have fake breasts and tattoos? Yes, and conversely, all women with fake breasts and tattoos are tramps. It's a perfect, consistent little circle, thank goodness we can see them coming from far away. (Assuming we can see them in profile...)
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 Yes, and conversely, all women with fake breasts and tattoos are tramps. It's a perfect, consistent little circle, thank goodness we can see them coming from far away. (Assuming we can see them in profile...) Well they call it a tramp stamp for a reason...
Mr_Flay Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 they won't be labeled the town slut. If I were a girl, I would be a town slut. Who cares about these labels today anyway?
Emilia Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Anyway, I have my theories of the psychology behind this behavior pattern I see over and over but wanted to hear what the ladies had to say first. Depends on how long you travel for. I was away from Europe for almost 2 years and while I didn't have ONS at that time, I travelled with men I also dated knowing it would end very soon. It's part of the adventure and you also have a much more open mindset, you talk to complete strangers, it's pretty much the travel etiquette. Then you are back at home, get a job and get back to miserable commute with everyone else 2
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