My girlfriend said she needed space, 4 days later she ends it, help

[jamwinswim]

Hold Up Indeed,

 

Take a step back here..... way back. And listen up good, because Im not going to be friendly about this (and I've been with you on here through this, so at least listen to me - good friends tell you how it is, whether its good or bad).

 

Read your conversation, your one online, and for one second, consider that it was someone elses conversation, and not yours...... read it over.... you know what you wrote..... and sorry, but you've taken 20 steps back here. If you dont care... if you are really moving on.... you wouldnt want answers, right? So lets take that first truth - you're pizzed at her, agreed, but you still have her on your mind, and are still very hurt for what she has done to you.

 

Keep reading that conversation. The whole time, youre asking questions, wanting answers, being stubborn, being immature, you're both hiding behind walls! For as much as she might not be letting up, nor are you. The reality here is that you are broken up, and would you want the old relationship back just so it could break up again? HELL NO! And thats even more so for her - she broke it up, so obviously she doesnt want that old relationship. The whole conversation, I dont know if thats the whole thing, but you encouraged tension between yourselves from the get go. What about whats up? how are things? What have you been doing lately? You remember when we did this thing and it was fun..... IF you wanted a chance, even at friendship, you need to show her the GREAT side of you! Instead, you have given her all the reason she needs to confirm why she broke up. That conversation shows that you're stuck in the past, and that you're whining, and wanting answers. Accept the fact you may never get answers. Like I told my ex, you or I may not really know why this is happening for a long time.

 

Take your head out of the past. Everyone's been there - I love you so much, we'll be together forever, talking marriage..... its gone right now. You need to focus on the future, and if you want to salvage your friendship, then on making yourself a better person - the BEST "YOU" YOU CAN BE. You might not see her much, but when the opportunity arises, you need to show her what shes missing out on. Be happy. That whole conversation, you keep pushing her, wanting to know something maybe she doesnt even know - putting her on the defensive about the past. Let it go. If she cheated on you, got with someone else, then she really isnt for you right now. Anyone that shallow to get with a new guy isnt in love with that person, but in love with the fact that shes filled a void. And if thats the fact, then why would you want to be with someone that ended up shallow?

 

My mate and I last night were talking about that you learn more about your significant others after the break up than with them - because their true selfs come out (hes also having woman trouble). Reading that convo..... jesus, just let her say goodnight lol. Give her what she wants. You pestering her makes it worse for the both of you. She says she still has feelings and stuff, its up to you to rekindle it. Your whole conversation shouldn't be about the past and why you want answers, it should be about encouraging to hang out sometime in the future.

 

Don't try to analyze things too much. Remember, if you're getting irrate reading this reply, I'm almost in exactly the same ship - the flip flop of emotions by her, the inconsistancy.... Before you reply. Think about things a little, and calm down about being pizzed off. You are allowed to feel pizzed, she did ditch you and left you out on a limb. If anything, I would send her an email, apologise for your behaviour and just explain that you're still a little hurt and trying to find closure for the old relationship. Tell her you meant well, because you did, but it just got a little out of hand, and that you really want to work on the friendship. Swallow your pride..... cause no-ones gonna be a winner if you decide to be stubborn.

 

Don't be hating. Just think about what I said first, because I'm sure you don't want to agree with it, but just consider it. I'm here trying to help. Take Care.

[Green_and_White]

I do argree WITH everything that you said. But that was only 1/2 of our conversation. Ill post the other part just to show you how much I was trying to be "cool" and friendly with someone that has given me no respect what so ever. Remember, it was her B-day we had plans to meet up at school, my sis was supposed to see her at tailgate, called her, left a message and never returned one back. She instant message me just to say sorry for not getting my call (why she didnt call and say that, I dont know). But check out the other part of the convo and thats why I started asking questiosn cause she was so damn cold when i was being nice to her, very nice.

 

elizsief3: hey, sorry i was sleeping last night when you called

elizsief3: hey, sorry i was sleeping last night when you called

AndyJMcG: hey...no problem

AndyJMcG: it was pretty late

elizsief3: yeah, did you have fun at state?

AndyJMcG: yeah it was a lot of fun

AndyJMcG: what about you?

elizsief3: it was a blast

AndyJMcG: good, im glad

AndyJMcG: did you have a good b-day?

AndyJMcG: so old now

elizsief3: yup, i know!

AndyJMcG: hahaha

AndyJMcG: get any good gifts?

elizsief3: pretty much clothes

AndyJMcG: thats good

elizsief3: yeah

AndyJMcG: i never seem to have enough either

elizsief3: i actually didn't want clothes

AndyJMcG: no...what did you want?

elizsief3: nothin

AndyJMcG: ha, why?

elizsief3: just wasn't anything

AndyJMcG: i guess ill take back those prada shoes i got you

elizsief3: ok, haha

elizsief3: did jay have a party still last night?

AndyJMcG: yeah

AndyJMcG: i was there for a bit

elizsief3: i saw all those guys at tailgate

AndyJMcG: katie and oliver stayed the whole time

AndyJMcG: thats what they said

AndyJMcG: i was there like a few after they saw you

elizsief3: oh really

AndyJMcG: yeah

elizsief3: vince is fat by the way

elizsief3: haha

AndyJMcG: yes he is

AndyJMcG: very fat

elizsief3: i was surprised

AndyJMcG: so is steph

elizsief3: really

AndyJMcG: was he creppy?

AndyJMcG: HUGE

elizsief3: little bit, not bad

AndyJMcG: that bastard

elizsief3: no

AndyJMcG: Craig was up there with us too

elizsief3: oh really, with katie?

AndyJMcG: yup

elizsief3: hmm

AndyJMcG: Katie was so drunk

elizsief3: oh gosh

AndyJMcG: katie and chris are back together

elizsief3: i didn't know they broke up

elizsief3: so why was she with craig?

AndyJMcG: like last friday....she called me at the bar crying cause they broke up

AndyJMcG: craig just wanted to come up and hangout with katie

elizsief3: she called me

elizsief3: but i didn't know if they had broken up or not

AndyJMcG: she called me and told me

AndyJMcG: that she did

elizsief3: i see

AndyJMcG: but craig bought her a rose and everything for sweetest day

AndyJMcG: chris didnt get her anything

elizsief3: oh no

AndyJMcG: i want katie and craig to go out...bad

elizsief3: yea, i like craig more

AndyJMcG: way more

AndyJMcG: where did you go for your birthday?

elizsief3: we went to harpers downtown

AndyJMcG: really?

AndyJMcG: was it fun

AndyJMcG: of course..you said so

AndyJMcG: im retarded

elizsief3: yea, i was with chad's friend and his sisters friends, one of them had her bday too, she had reserved a booth

elizsief3: it was really crowded

AndyJMcG: kay day there too

elizsief3: yea

elizsief3: we stayed at the marriott

AndyJMcG: chad in town

elizsief3: it was amazing

AndyJMcG: thats what jay told me

AndyJMcG: what was amazing?

elizsief3: that we didn't have to walk far

AndyJMcG: oh yeah

AndyJMcG: that would have been awesome

elizsief3: and i had a comfortable bed to sleep in

AndyJMcG: did you guys book it that night

elizsief3: no

elizsief3: thursday

AndyJMcG: i walked all the way back to olivers

elizsief3: that must have sucked

AndyJMcG: i got my new coat all messed up cause of the rain

elizsief3: it was so cold and rainy

AndyJMcG: but i took it to the dry cleaners already

elizsief3: thats good

AndyJMcG: yeah, it wasnt a big deal

elizsief3: did u go to the bar?

AndyJMcG: yeah

elizsief3: the shark?

AndyJMcG: you know me

elizsief3: of course

elizsief3: frat heaven

AndyJMcG: we went only for a bit

AndyJMcG: har har lizzy

elizsief3: yea yea

AndyJMcG: how is chad and katy?

elizsief3: they are good

elizsief3: we picked them up at 5:30 yesterday mornig

AndyJMcG: tell kay day i miss her

elizsief3: i will

AndyJMcG: from metro?

elizsief3: yes, i woke up at 4 in the morning

elizsief3: it was rough

AndyJMcG: jesus

AndyJMcG: did alicia come up with you too?

elizsief3: no

AndyJMcG: how is school going for her?

elizsief3: good, she likes it

AndyJMcG: i cant wait now

elizsief3: well thats good

AndyJMcG: im really excited to go

elizsief3: im sure you will like it

AndyJMcG: i have no doubts

elizsief3: cool

AndyJMcG: so, what else has been up with you elizabeth

AndyJMcG: how is school

elizsief3: school is good

AndyJMcG: thats good

AndyJMcG: we are loving that word

elizsief3: i noticed

AndyJMcG: good!

elizsief3: its all good

AndyJMcG: ohhhhh no....no one says that

elizsief3: i do

AndyJMcG: good

elizsief3: ok enough of that!

AndyJMcG: im just joking

AndyJMcG: ok, no more

elizsief3: ok

AndyJMcG: i almost bought a car

elizsief3: i heard

AndyJMcG: but the dealer fell through

AndyJMcG: from who?

elizsief3: yea that sucks

elizsief3: my dad

AndyJMcG: just relayin messages

elizsief3: kind of

AndyJMcG: kind of?

elizsief3: thats all he said

AndyJMcG: oh, ok

AndyJMcG: how is Anita?

elizsief3: fine

AndyJMcG: "good"

elizsief3: i changed it up

AndyJMcG: hahahaha

AndyJMcG: thanks....keeps things interesting

elizsief3: i try

AndyJMcG: keep up the good work

elizsief3: i will

AndyJMcG: hows the apartment?

elizsief3: the same

AndyJMcG: cool

elizsief3: did you move to the basement?

AndyJMcG: haha...no...heres the thing

AndyJMcG: i thought about it....and i would be the guy that lives in my parents basement

AndyJMcG: so im still on the fence right now

elizsief3: thats true

elizsief3: but much easier to bring home the ladies

AndyJMcG: it is though

AndyJMcG: its true

AndyJMcG: my lucky couch

elizsief3: i would move

AndyJMcG: me?

elizsief3: yup

AndyJMcG: i still really want to

AndyJMcG: i talked to jerky about moving to his place

elizsief3: yea

AndyJMcG: he wants me to

elizsief3: that would be cool

AndyJMcG: im not home very often

AndyJMcG: so i dont notice the whole being with my parents

elizsief3: thats good

AndyJMcG: i tought we were done with the "goods"

elizsief3: oh i forgot

elizsief3: im getting sleepy

AndyJMcG: i talked to Neil and he is going to move down here in may

AndyJMcG: and we are going to actually look for some places

elizsief3: really, where?

AndyJMcG: he is going to go to law school too

AndyJMcG: in the D

elizsief3: i didn't know that

elizsief3: did he take the lsat?

AndyJMcG: i hung out with him and Stacey on friday night

AndyJMcG: Decemember

elizsief3: she called me, how did that happen?

elizsief3: did u call neil?

AndyJMcG: Neil called me on my way from home and he wanted me to go PT's with him cause his frined Collenn and a bunch of her Zetas were there and he wanted me to go with him

elizsief3: awesome

AndyJMcG: it was

AndyJMcG: wore all my new gear this weekend

elizsief3: sweet

AndyJMcG: good

elizsief3: alrighty

AndyJMcG: i actually got you somethin for your b-day....got it a LONG while ago....maybe you might be lucky and get it

elizsief3: you shouldn't give me anything

AndyJMcG: how come?

elizsief3: bcs its not right

AndyJMcG: no?

elizsief3: no

AndyJMcG: whys it not right

elizsief3: bcs

AndyJMcG: makes perfect sense, got it

elizsief3: you know why

AndyJMcG: yea yea

AndyJMcG: i kno why

elizsief3: ok

AndyJMcG: ill give it to someone else

elizsief3: ok, you should

AndyJMcG: wow

elizsief3: what

AndyJMcG: nothing

elizsief3: im just saying don't give me anything

AndyJMcG: i got it for you on labor day...it was for back to school, but i didnt get a chance to give it to you

AndyJMcG: but ill take it back

AndyJMcG: dont worry

AndyJMcG: i wont bug ya

elizsief3: you aren't bugging me

elizsief3: im just saying not to give me anything

AndyJMcG: i just dont see what was/is so wrong with it

AndyJMcG: im not going to do it though

elizsief3: ok

AndyJMcG: unless there is something more that i dont know

AndyJMcG: then i wont do it

elizsief3: what else would there be?

AndyJMcG: i dont know

AndyJMcG: anything

elizsief3: hmm ok

elizsief3: i don't know what anything is

AndyJMcG: like your feelings and stuff...thats why i didnt think much of giving you something

AndyJMcG: didnt think it was a huge deal

elizsief3: its not

AndyJMcG: then why are you resisting....i know its hard....you must have some super powers

elizsief3: what am i resisting?

AndyJMcG: me givin ya something

AndyJMcG: and andrew in general

elizsief3: bcs its the way it is

AndyJMcG: its the way it is?

elizsief3: how things are now

AndyJMcG: ok

AndyJMcG: how are things now

elizsief3: we aren't together

AndyJMcG: when did that happen?

AndyJMcG: j/k

elizsief3: funny

AndyJMcG: hey, i can be funny

elizsief3: sure can

AndyJMcG: i bet ya are missin me like crazy

elizsief3: i miss you

AndyJMcG: i know

elizsief3: but im happy

AndyJMcG: i mean...me too

elizsief3: i know

AndyJMcG: but im not going to lie and say that a part of something isnt missin'

AndyJMcG: what are you happy about?

elizsief3: about being on my own

elizsief3: meeting new people

AndyJMcG: as in potential love interests....or like people to hangout with

elizsief3: both i guess

AndyJMcG: hmmm.

elizsief3: why hmm

AndyJMcG: that didnt mean anything

[jamwinswim]

I dont know about being cold. At least she was talking right? You havent spoken in a while, so you were really touching base. Is she going to open up about stuff? Not right now, not right away. It was up to you I guess to initiate more stuff to makes thing interesting in the conversation...... but putting her on the back foot like that, probably a big NO NO. Maybe a more subtle ... you dont seem to want to talk much, or do you want to know how things are going with me? kinda thing.... I mean I dont know..... your opportunities in front of her now are far and few between, you need to paint a good picture each time - even if you want her back or not.

 

At least she IM'ed you to talk back..... I mean try and look at it from her view. Obviously its very tough for her to see, hang out, or talk to you right now face to face. It probably doenst help when you ask questions, and maybe one of the reasons why. You probably should address this concern with her. I still say write her an email, because calling her or IM'ing her probably wont work. Tell her how this has made you feel, but forgive her for it. "Forgive her? You must be crazy J?" Yeah I am.... but put it this way - even you dont want to get back together, youve been through enough together to salvage a friendship.

 

Is this the best advice? I dont know. Its similar for me and my ex, but I havent spoken to her for 3 weeks now, since right before I went to England. I dont know how Im going to react when we do speak.... I dont know how to act really. My mate, the one I was with last night, he doesn't know what he wants with his relationship right now, and it looks so similar to why my ex wanted a break..... so i'm getting some sort of insight. All I know is that when the opportunity arises, I'll just do the best I can. See, I dont even know myself if I want her back, but I at least want to be at peace with myself, and have closure. Just keep your chin up buddy - there is no right or wrong, only the way that you decide to handle things. If she really has treated you like crap, then ditch it. Its a shame how these things goes, but these are the cards you've been dealt right now. Pretty *hitty hand, but you got to play the game now.

[Green_and_White]

J,

 

I wasn't going to write the letter but I decided to go ahead because I do know how stubburn she is and thought maybe it would break the ice a little bit. I am still very bitter because this isnt the person I know but I guess I don't want to lose her completely. I REALLY don't believe that she doesn't love me any more so I gotta be the bigger man and maybe take some ineitivite and get the ball rollin. She always liked when a man took charge and for the last part of the relationship I've been pretty lazy about that, so maybe this is my moment to redeem myslef. I put a copy of the letter here:

 

Liz,

I've been thinking about that conversation we had online the other night and I want to aplogize for doing it and even doing it online. You had a Great weekend and you had to come home to me basically prying at you, it wasn't fair at all to you. I didn't want to do that and too bad soemone wasn't there to slap my hand. I told myself i wouldn't bring up the situation ever again but I guess I thought I wouldnt have another opportunity since we haven't talked all that much. You were tired and wanted to go to bed but I went ahead and that should have never been discussed in the first place. Sorry again. Well, if you ever want to talk or make plans to do something, cause I am more than willing and look forward to it, just let me know. Maybe hear from ya soon and have a good day at class.

 

 

Andrew

[Green_and_White]

It's been awhile since I've posted on here. Well, there has been nothing in my situation. I havent spoken to her on the phone in a month and the email I sent two weeks ago hasnt gotten any response so I know that everything she has told me is pretty much BS. I found out today when I got to work that she was rushed to the hospital because of severe headaches. He dad is coming in later in the day and maybe I'll get some insight into what happend to her. It is possible menagitis one of my other lawyers told me. Ill get the story and find out if I should contact her, which I probably won't because it is clear now that she doesnt give crap about me.

[jamwinswim]

I hope shes okay. Seriously, I dont wish any evil on anyone.

 

Things for me have changed a little recently, and it might put some light on the situation. Me and my ex have finally started talking again, and basically the one thing that came out was that she

 

A) didnt want to hurt me

B) didnt think she was hurting me

C) didnt know how to talk to me or handle being around me - and thus the "silent" treatment was the only way she knew she could handle things.

 

I know it sucks, and it seems immature, but it seems true so far. She didnt know what she was doing to me, but at the same time had to take care of herself, and by not being in contact was the only way she knew how. At least now we're talking, and im suppose to cook dinner for her on tuesday, so we'll see if that happens.

 

Anyways mate, my advice is this - send some flowers if she's really ill, and just leave her a note saying get well soon basically. She'll appreciate it in the long run. And thats what you should focus on now - the long run and if you really want her. It sucks, you want answers, you feel spite. Just be patient - its either you're willing to fight thru the crap to the point where you can both talk properly, or shes gonna be immature about it and keep avoiding you, and thus it would probably be time to move on. I can tell youre upset, and have a lot of spite built up inside - i was exactly the same. But when me and my ex finally spoke and cleared things up a little, i learnt alot of the spite i created myself because i had no answers from her and just thought the worst about everything. Are things perfect for me? No. I still miss her badly, but im trying to be patient and do things properly. We'll see. Things will work out, you continue to live. Just keep going day to day mate.

[Green_and_White]

I called her and left a message. A few minutes later one of my friends that went to HS with her told me she heard from back home that she is dating someone. So, i picked up that phone again and called her. Man, I really dont care now cause I decided I dont want to be with someone like her, at all. We had a great convo for about 20 mins and I was just goofing asking if she wanted to tell me anything. I told her I heard that she was dating someone cause Grosse Pointe is the weirdest and smallest city in the world for any of those who know the name. I asked her a bunch of times if there was anything you want to tell me and she says no. So i said what i just typed above and she says yes, im dating. We are just hanging out, thats it. She wouldnt tell me the name but I knew and I just didnt tell her. Its some kid she has known since she was three and i think its really messed up she is dating him. I would prefer it be some random guy cause i feel like she always had him. What sucks is she like never talked to his kid ever, never mentioned his name. Now she likes him? Oh well man, i think this is one of the last times Ill post cause she is not worth it. Coulnt even come out and tell me.

 

I also asked for one of my fraternity shirts I gave her back because tradition states that you only give that or your letters to someone you plan on marrying (stupid but I wanted it back). She flipped out and and told me to grow up and that im not in college anymore. What the hell was that a big deal. I even told her you might think this is an a**h*** move but Im not trying to be mean...she really doesnt deserve to have them. She also asked what i still think of her. I told her I think about her all the time. I told her some of the stuff.

 

 

Anyways you all may look at this as a step back, I dont. If she refuses to look at our past and just move on in the manner that she did. Based on all the stuff i told you guys that she said and the way she acted prior to all this, you would feel the same way as me. I and none of you deserve to be lied to and not be treated the way you treated them. There is someone better out there and it may take awhile but it does exist. She still wants to talk but I really have no desire to pursue anything.

[jamwinswim]

Well...... she lied...... or couldnt face the truth in telling you about some new guy. Like someone told me, you cant seriously expect to start a new relationship so soon after an old one, because you should still have some sort of feelings, and also the only reason you may be with someone is to fill the void, for lust, not for love.

 

My advice, and like you said, just leave it now. Shes been a Bitc* basically. If shes not mature enough to be able to handle things and be friendly with you, then shes not the person you really want to be with for the rest of your life. Like my friend said, American Girls (Im english and in america) are fun and stuff, but just use them for now because they are silly, the mature (committed) ones are in Europe lol. Just let the past stay in the past, and move to the future. Good Luck.

[ltomlinson81]

For the record, not all American girls are like the one you are discussing.

[jamwinswim]

lol True. My friend was French though and going to college in North Carolina. So .... i was just joking lol

[Green_and_White]

I called my ex and left a message while she was at work to ask her if she wanted to go out to eat and eat and catch up Thursday or Monday. Said i dont want to talk about the crap we did the other night, we'll talk about Laguna Beach and the Real World. No call yet.

 

I also found out she has been having a bunch of tests done on her head. MRI's and some other extensive things. Maybe she is crazy and it explains alot?

[Green_and_White]

Well, like I said I left a very nice and funny message asking her if she would like to meet for dinner on Monday. Never got a call back, (who is this person). Also, 8 days ago I asked for one of my fraternity shirts back and she acted very offended and didnt want to let go of it and I said fine, keep it, its alright. Yesterday at work her dad says "I have something for you" and tosses me the shirt. She couldnt have called me and told me I'm giving it back? I feel like I'm breaking up with a high school girlfriend. This is not the smart, level headed 22 year old woman I fell so easily in love with almost 2 years ago. Fine, her true self apparently is starting to come out. Also, I read her email (she reads mine) and saw she erased all of my 40 emails I sent to her when we first started dating (I was studying abroad for the first 3 months of our relationship). She always said how much those meant to her and she wanted to make a littel book out of them. Even if I broke up with someone it would be hard just to throw everything away. I guess she was cleaning house yesterday.

Also, I offically got that other job and I was offered about 16,000 more than what im making now. I cant wait to see the look on her fathers face and I wish I can be there when she finds out her only contact and connection to me is gone. I truly believe I will never hear from her again. I remember our conversation of almost a week ago, I said "I didnt bother you, didnt all you, didnt beg, I was hoping that the absence would make the heart grow fonder". She says "Well, it didnt in this case"

[jamwinswim]

I guess in this case, the true face of the devil was exposed - I am witnessing the same thing right now. And its so funny how you said its like breaking up with your high school girlfriend, ditto on that my friend. 16k more cash as well.... you need to get me a job there! Things suck, but the reality always comes about when there is a break up - and the real face shows. Buddy - its time for us to go out and have some FUN!

[Tim]

I want to ask all the guys on this board a simple question.

 

Have ANY of you who have had girlfriends say to you one of the following...

 

1. I need some space. Let's slow things down.

2. I need time to decide what I want.

3. I want to take a break for awhile.

 

Have ANY of you had your girlfiends COME BACK TO YOU...

 

And tell you that they know they want to be with you and you are both happy as a clam?

 

I'd like any guy to answer this (or girl who has done this to a guy before) ... whether member or lurker.

 

Thanks.

Tim

[tokyo]

Green_and_White, I´m not sure, maybe I missed something in this long thread, but did it occur to you that your girlfriend might have found out you had spent the night with someone else just eight days after you guys separated? I mean, she asks for space and maybe that what she needed for a while and it takes you a little more than a week to find someone else. I don´t know, I would be pissed off, despite the break up, and I would not want to believe you when you told me you still loved me.

[Green_and_White]

Kooky,

 

Good question. There is a 200% percent chance she didn't know I spent the night with some girl. Only person who knew was my brother and his best friend and roommate (my gf never talked to him anyways). I have come to believe that this girl is just a mean BEOTCH. I mean, I got a GREAT job last week and a BRAND new car. I had to tell her dad at work that I quit on Monday. What does she say to me the next day. "Congrats on the new job and car" over instant messanger. I mean, 2 years with someone and we shared everything and the biggest thing to happen to me the whole time she knew me she cant even call and ACT happy for me. This girl is a self centered little girl. I am SO glad to be over her.

 

How do I know Im over her? Because the thought of her with someone else doesnt make my stomach upset. I now find talking with new girls exciting again. I am having the MOST fun I have had in my life going back up to my old college. I also know I am over her because I dont feel the need to beat the hell out of her next bf. All I would say is How does it feel to be constantly compared to me, everytime you mess up, who do you think she thinks about and I would walk away and be fine with it. When this girl grows up and wants to talk again, I will hang up the phone. I suggest we all do

[tokyo]

I don´t think it has anything to do with being self-centered. It´s probably part of the break up and you are angry that she just doesn´t treat you like she always does.

 

You sound very harsh, might be because you are very upset now, but I wouldn´t be surprised if she is a very sensitive person and you are sometimes too much for her and that´s why she is retreating now. If you continue to be so angry you will drive her even more away.

 

And I still have to say, that you might not be the right guy for her when you go out and grab the next girl only eight days after she asks for space. I don´t know, to me it looks a bit selfish, defiant. I understand that you were hurt and still, I don´t think that was a good reaction, not really mature, not that I am, but you might think about cooling down a bit. Feel hurt, but don´t go around and call her a mean bitch.

[Green_and_White]

Kooky,

 

You didnt read the post fully. She asked for space and said don't worry about this, have faith. She then breaks up with me 4 days later via the phone the moment I get off of work. Says she loves me blah blah blah. We weren't together, it was a breakup. No I never mentioned it to her, no she has no idea. Also, she was sneaky as hell when I found out she was seeing someone. She wouldnt admit it. I found out from friends of friends. What I did not a single person in my shoes wouldnt have done. She really does think Im just sitting around here waiting for her anyways and Im not. She really is a mean person, just go through and read all my crap.

[Green_and_White]

Just want to update anyone who was keeping tabs on my situaiton. Well she has a boyfriend. Some kid she has known since she has been 3. She also told me he was just a friend and they arent doing anything the last time we talked over a month ago. I found this out through friends who saw them out together. Man, this girl really does go from long relationship to the next, I just cant see me doing that, but I am over her. I dont get mad when I see them together in my head. This is the same girl who said she wanted to be by herself so I backed off and left her alone. I also bought that Blase Harris book. I quit reading it because I dont want someone back who is clearly a liar and is way TOO immature to call me to congradulate me on my first real job since I graduated in May and for me buying my brand new car. She had to do it Via email. So also had to ask her father to get a necklace back from me that she let my sis borrow. Not once has she said can I come get it or can you meet me somewhere. She emailed me last week after I left her fathers work and asked if I could it send it in the mail. I replied with, "Sure, send me the mailing address, some postage (im not sending a 400 dollar necklace in the mail) and a check for the things at Victoria's Secret, the condoms and the KY I bought us a week before we broke up. Your boyfriend isnt f**king you on my Dime. I guess I can act like a little kid too." Ill be mad at myself 4 months from now when i look back at all the thinking about her that I've done. She has the daddy didnt hold me enough syndrome (her father has polo and cant do it) so she HAS to have someone in her life. But she doesnt love herself enough to love someone else. Her loss.

[tokyo]

Hey, sorry to hear that.... But don´t be so hard on her. That´s not good for her and also not for you. I´m sure you are a nice guy, but you also sound a bit harsh and too demanding sometimes. Maybe her current boyfriend requires less energy. It´s hard to keep up with someone who is living life on the fast lane, at least that´s how you look like. If she was mature she would know how to behave, if she doesn´t, let it be, she´ll have her reasons that you don´t understand yet. She´s not nice and you do deserve someone better.

 

Good luck

 

kooky