Well it's official: He has a new GF and I'm an idiot!

[singme2sleep]

I had a similar experience. It's been a month now. My ex and I never fought and had a great time together. Told me and all his friends I was the one, blah blah. Came home one morning after work and found a note saying it was over. I wasn't even worth a f***ing conversation.

 

We never spoke face to face or otherwise about the break. Even though I tried, sent some texts. He would never touch the subject aside from, you will get closure in time.

 

I'm still in shock to be honest.

 

Idk how much closure I really got, and the funny thing is I thought it would make me feel a little better but not true.

 

And I'm so sorry that he broke up with you in a note, that's cowardly. I never revealed it on here til now, but my ex broke up with me through texting, also cowardly. Smh

 

Keep your chin up because we both deserve better!

Edited April 16, 2013 by singme2sleep

[ab5]

SM2S - you are lucky to be feeling so much anger towards your ex as that will help you move on. I hope I can feel that kind of anger someday. Right now I just feel sad and stuck, and can't stop blaming myself for everything that went wrong in my relationship.

 

K1380 - I'm still in shock also and my break up happened 8 months ago. I'm not sure why our exes didn't feel the need to give us closure and instead basically abandoned us. It hurts a lot. I hope we are able to get through this and come out stronger....

[Mack05]

Idk how much closure I really got, and the funny thing is I thought it would make me feel a little better but not true.

 

It's a setback but I think it's a great setback in the overall scheme of things. This is one big step back for sure but the huge steps forward are on the way. A person you trusted has turned out to be not the man you were expecting. That is tough to get your head around. The ego hurts as well. You think what does she have that I don't have? His life was a mess, but he can dump me and meet someone new? The whole thing messes with your head.

 

Sing or another poster on this thread don't let any man/woman dictate your future. By saying stuff I might never trust again or how can I trust again you are letting a man who never deserved your love in the first place, potentially dictate your future relationships..They don't deserve that kind of power.

 

Let me tell you a few harsh lessons I have learnt. In my early 20's I viewed love in such a positive, hopeful, beautiful, powerful way. I was with a girl for 8 years. The first 3 years were amazing. Then one night she punched me hard in the face for no reason (thats the truth). We broke up, but I took her back a year later after she asked for forgiveness. She went on to cheat on me and punch me in the face again. She was abusive and downright nasty.

 

I didn't deal with it. I just pushed it to one side and almost pretended it never happened. There was no anger after the breakup. I was like numb. This relationship and my failure to deal with it has left a devastating effect on my life.

 

Every relationship since her I haven't been able to truly enjoy. I had a mis trust of every girl. My insecurities played a huge role in each relationship failure. My determination to make sure I would never be screwed over again meant I pushed any girl whoever loved me away. I couldn't stop over thinking, over analyzing. Why did she do this, why did she say this etc etc.

 

I am now 37 and I am not entirely sure I will get another chance. If I do get another chance, I will dive in head first and just go for it. No fear, no cynicism, no negativity. Broken hearts are horrible, but I would rather have a broken heart after truly giving 110% of myself to a woman, instead of just giving just 30-40% not truly enjoying the relationship.

 

In the meantime I am making sure I am at my very best because if this girl comes into my life I hope I am ready in every way possible. That is what I want you to do sing. I want you to analyze your role and your behaviours in the relationship. I want you to try understand who you are as a person.

 

It's going to take time to get over the anger. Anger is not a bad thing as long as it is not over used. Boxing is a great way to get rid if anger. It is a great sport for 'discipline' as well. A quote I use on this site a lot is "Harbouring resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die". At some stage I want you to work past your anger. I want you to recognise your own self worth and recognise he has made the biggest mistake in his life. Then I want you to forgive him.

 

If you can truly forgive him he can't effect your next relationship. You remove all baggage associated with him by forgiving. I want you to love the next guy the same way you loved him if not more. Anything else you are just letting yourself down..You deserve a pure love and its girls like you singme2sleep with this capacity to love and understand what the word 'love' truly entails that means I will never quit looking for love because girls like you are out there.

Edited April 16, 2013 by Mack05

[StraylightRun24]

PLEASE do not become cynical towards love and men ladies because you were dealing with ones who were either cowards, immature, or just didn't know what they actually wanted in a girlfriend.

 

I'm sure you have all heard the saying, "actions speak louder than words," and this seems to be the case in all of your situations. Someone saying the words, "I love you" unfortunately a lot of times are just that....someone saying words. You have to look towards their actions to see if they actually mean it!

 

There are a ton of good guys (and girls) out there. The key to knowing if someone actually loves you (at least in my humble opinion) are in the way they treat you and not just because they say the words. The key....OBSERVATION!

[Compromize]

I am so sorry to hear this. Just yesterday you were truly moving on, they always seem to pop up in the worst way when we think we are moving into a new stage past them.

 

The only "positive" about this is that at least you truly KNOW that it's over. Hope can be burnt to a crisp and it's ashes spread on the field of the new you (really the old you) rising from this.

 

I "saw" my ex on a dating site. Pictures are "private" but the profile is her. Just know it to my core. She is on there as not looking for a relationship, just evenings here and there to have fun and enjoy each others company. That's all the time she was ever willing to give. I know (in a sense at least) how you feel. Rejection all over again, stabbed in the heart again.

 

But in this we need to find strength. This is truly the end and truly the beginning. Embrace the beginning. This is the time for us to grow, to become what we want to see reflected back to us. There are people out there dying, being hurt, starving, fighting cancer, fighting for actual survival. I am trying to continuously remind myself of this. If you put it in perspective it makes the heartache we are going through, really more putting ourselves through, seem trivial in comparison.

 

My heart goes out to you singme2sleep. You sound like a wonderful woman, one I would be glad to love and cherish and appreciate and there are guys like me out there that are good and romantic and lovers with tattoos and muscles and a bad boy side but mainly just the exterior. My interior is full of love that is waiting for the right woman.

[LoveB86]

my heart goes out to you sing, I was cowardly broken up with via disappearance about 2 weeks ago. He never said a thing until he finally sent a guilt txt msg to "take time away". Well he cheated on me, and just made this girl his gf and I work with both of them (however they work in a differemt building) than me. I gave this man my 110% and I dont exist anymore to him. He did me so

wrong and I never ever had a man disrespect

me so bad like this.

 

All I can do is keep at NC and bite the bullet if I see the two together at work. One day, all this will be behind us. So far behind us... I pray everyday to move forward from this.

[StraylightRun24]

What you are going through is what we all have / will go through and I promise you this isn't the end of the world.

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you because he wanted you?

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you and wasn't going to date someone else?

 

You really need to try and get a hold of your emotions and try not to be so dramatic because you are going to date plenty of people, have several LTRs that end in a break up before you finally meet the man you marry... just like the rest of us.

 

Don't you know this?

 

Life Happens! Break ups happen! Cherish the good times you and your Ex had, the good memories, continue to be the best a girlfriend can for the next guy, learn from the mistakes you made with the last guy and if need be... improve your BF picker.

 

You dumped the guy you were with before the Ex. Were you evil? Did you set out to hurt him? Was breaking up with him wrong? Did you not meet, date and enter into a relationship with someone new?

 

How is it that everyone on here forgets dating / relationships / marriage is a PROCESS we all go through?

 

Why is it that everyone on here thinks someone who breaks up with them is the Spawn of Satan and their Ex committed and act of evil?

 

Why is it that many of you have or will be dumpers in the future and it's okay for you to choose happiness and dump someone you no longer have feelings for or love or want to be with but people who date you can't / don't get the same privilege?

 

The purpose of your relationship was to find out an answer to a question.

 

What is the question, you ask?

 

"Is this the person I want / am going to spend the rest of my life with?"

 

If either of you decided to stop dating, break up or end a relationship for WHATEVER reason... You both now have the answer to that question and the answer is, NO.

 

What's the alternative?

 

To deny yourself or the person you were with their own happiness? To take it personal, lose all your self-respect, dignity and chase after someone who doesn't want you? To forgo all your hopes, wishes and dreams to stay with someone you shouldn't / don't want to be with?

 

How on earth could anyone view the above a success?

 

A break up is not a failure, it's an answer to a question and the successful conclusion of your relationship

 

There is a lot of wisdom/truth in this post. A LOT

 

It's true not all of our exes are spawns of Satan (only some of them ) and why the hell would any of us want to be with somebody who felt they were settling for us? That's not to say we shouldn't be upset and maybe a little angry that our exes broke up with us but come on! We're all worth more than somebody feeling like they settled on us!

[Am4Real]

There are lots of us out there!

 

 

I should have listened to you!

 

Def will use this as a learning experience, I always have to learn the hard way unfortunately.

 

The part that bums me out the most is that now I have to start all over again. And that's if I even meet someone nice, I refuse to go sit in a bar and wait for a drunken idiot to hit on me (been there, done that) it's hard to meet good guys anymore. And I also can't imagine opening up to someone new, it took a lot for me to open up to my ex.

 

I don't want to become cynical but I really thought he was Mr Right. How could I have been so very wrong??!

[Am4Real]

Live&Learn,

 

As I read posts there is a theme that resonates with what appears to be the greater population and that is not the break up itself, it's the manner it was communicated or even the lack of any communication -- they just disappear!

 

I've written about this before and even compared the poor communication or disappearing to losing your pet, you begin to look for the animal and bring it home, yet if the pet could actually talk and told you they wanted out of the house and ran out at the first opportunity to get away, chasing them might be warranted (this is a pet after all, but you get my point) but it's best to let them go.

 

I like your advice, it's spot on for all who have been hurt. Mack added to this as well and I'm sure Sing will be appreciative after she has had time to process the "slap in the face" she received from her EX. However, be cognizant of the dilemma for those (like me, I'm afraid) who never received any official break up information and are left to wonder. Only thing for me, experience and LS membership took precedence and I didn't chase.

 

Best to you...

 

What you are going through is what we all have / will go through and I promise you this isn't the end of the world.

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you because he wanted you?

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you and wasn't going to date someone else?

 

You really need to try and get a hold of your emotions and try not to be so dramatic because you are going to date plenty of people, have several LTRs that end in a break up before you finally meet the man you marry... just like the rest of us.

 

Don't you know this?

 

Life Happens! Break ups happen! Cherish the good times you and your Ex had, the good memories, continue to be the best a girlfriend can for the next guy, learn from the mistakes you made with the last guy and if need be... improve your BF picker.

 

You dumped the guy you were with before the Ex. Were you evil? Did you set out to hurt him? Was breaking up with him wrong? Did you not meet, date and enter into a relationship with someone new?

 

How is it that everyone on here forgets dating / relationships / marriage is a PROCESS we all go through?

 

Why is it that everyone on here thinks someone who breaks up with them is the Spawn of Satan and their Ex committed and act of evil?

 

Why is it that many of you have or will be dumpers in the future and it's okay for you to choose happiness and dump someone you no longer have feelings for or love or want to be with but people who date you can't / don't get the same privilege?

 

The purpose of your relationship was to find out an answer to a question.

 

What is the question, you ask?

 

"Is this the person I want / am going to spend the rest of my life with?"

 

If either of you decided to stop dating, break up or end a relationship for WHATEVER reason... You both now have the answer to that question and the answer is, NO.

 

What's the alternative?

 

To deny yourself or the person you were with their own happiness? To take it personal, lose all your self-respect, dignity and chase after someone who doesn't want you? To forgo all your hopes, wishes and dreams to stay with someone you shouldn't / don't want to be with?

 

How on earth could anyone view the above a success?

 

A break up is not a failure, it's an answer to a question and the successful conclusion of your relationship

[KS11]

There is a lot of wisdom/truth in this post. A LOT

 

It's true not all of our exes are spawns of Satan (only some of them ) and why the hell would any of us want to be with somebody who felt they were settling for us? That's not to say we shouldn't be upset and maybe a little angry that our exes broke up with us but come on! We're all worth more than somebody feeling like they settled on us!

 

This is one of the things I try to keep telling myself and as much as I know I have to accept it. I'm not sure how to get over the thought that I must therefore lack something. That there is something so big missing in me that it makes my ex not want to be with me. I don't get how you view it any other way than not being enough.

[singme2sleep]

There is a lot of wisdom/truth in this post. A LOT

 

It's true not all of our exes are spawns of Satan (only some of them ) and why the hell would any of us want to be with somebody who felt they were settling for us? That's not to say we shouldn't be upset and maybe a little angry that our exes broke up with us but come on! We're all worth more than somebody feeling like they settled on us!

 

I never felt that my ex was settling for me. And the reason I'm angry is because we were fine until HE decided to be ALONE. Said he couldn't be in a relationship until he got his life figured out. Said several times it wasn't about me, wasn't anything I did wrong.

 

Then after 3 months I find out he's officially in a relationship with a new girl. So I have a right to be pissed at him for that. Basically it wasn't that he didn't want to be in a relationship, he just didn't want to be in one with me!

 

I get so upset when men/women lie about breakup reasons thinking they are sparing feelings. I'd rather hear the truth than live with a lie.

[Mack05]

I get so upset when men/women lie about breakup reasons thinking they are sparing feelings. I'd rather hear the truth than live with a lie.

 

Very good point sme2sleep. I get a lot of PM's from different posters. I try to tell them that the person breaking up with them is not always being honest. Many want to look like the good guy breaking up.

 

If the dumper told the actual truth while it might hurt the dumpee a lot more in the beginning, it would help enormously with the healing process going forward. I mean Sing think how much further down the road you would be in your recovery if you knew the actual truth.

 

More often then not, this crap that "my life is too much of a mess right now" is just that. Crap. If you believe you are with the right person, no amount of grief in your life will make you want to leave. In fact the opposite should happen. You should be beyond determined to put things right in your life, to make sure you don't lose the person you love the most.

 

Sadly too many people on LS focus on the previous 'words' of an ex instead of the final action within the relationship which was to LEAVE. Words are great ONLY when they are backed up by consistent actions for a proper length of time..Words that are not backed up with actions tell a very inconsistent story...

[singme2sleep]

What you are going through is what we all have / will go through and I promise you this isn't the end of the world.

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you because he wanted you?

 

Did you think your Ex broke up with you and wasn't going to date someone else?

 

You really need to try and get a hold of your emotions and try not to be so dramatic because you are going to date plenty of people, have several LTRs that end in a break up before you finally meet the man you marry... just like the rest of us.

 

Don't you know this?

 

Life Happens! Break ups happen! Cherish the good times you and your Ex had, the good memories, continue to be the best a girlfriend can for the next guy, learn from the mistakes you made with the last guy and if need be... improve your BF picker.

 

You dumped the guy you were with before the Ex. Were you evil? Did you set out to hurt him? Was breaking up with him wrong? Did you not meet, date and enter into a relationship with someone new?

 

How is it that everyone on here forgets dating / relationships / marriage is a PROCESS we all go through?

 

Why is it that everyone on here thinks someone who breaks up with them is the Spawn of Satan and their Ex committed and act of evil?

 

Why is it that many of you have or will be dumpers in the future and it's okay for you to choose happiness and dump someone you no longer have feelings for or love or want to be with but people who date you can't / don't get the same privilege?

 

The purpose of your relationship was to find out an answer to a question.

 

What is the question, you ask?

 

"Is this the person I want / am going to spend the rest of my life with?"

 

If either of you decided to stop dating, break up or end a relationship for WHATEVER reason... You both now have the answer to that question and the answer is, NO.

 

What's the alternative?

 

To deny yourself or the person you were with their own happiness? To take it personal, lose all your self-respect, dignity and chase after someone who doesn't want you? To forgo all your hopes, wishes and dreams to stay with someone you shouldn't / don't want to be with?

 

How on earth could anyone view the above a success?

 

A break up is not a failure, it's an answer to a question and the successful conclusion of your relationship

 

Well I guess I have a disease where I believe the things I'm told by people who say they love me! There may not be a cure!

 

As far as my previous breakup, I wasn't evil at all. I ended things in a polite way and I was clear that I just wasn't feeling real love for him. But like I said my current ex swore up and down that it wasn't about me, in fact he said "I wish you would stop saying I don't want you, it's not about that. I don't want anyone right now, my life is so screwed up." Those were his exact words! So I think it's not crazy for me to be hurt when I find out he's already in another relationship.

 

I just think that if a person means something to you at a point in time, they deserve a respectful and honest goodbye. It has opened my eyes finally to the guy my ex really is and in that regard he did me a favor by walking away.

 

It's not that I regret ever being with him, because I don't. He helped me thru a difficult time in my life and made me feel special while it lasted. Guess I just can't forget all the promises he made and broke. If it were possible I'd skip over anger and go right to indifference. But I know that's not healthy so I will feel it all day by day.

 

I appreciate your input but relationships are never easy, and one or both sides usually walks away hurt/angry/etc.

[singme2sleep]

Very good point sme2sleep. I get a lot of PM's from different posters. I try to tell them that the person breaking up with them is not always being honest. Many want to look like the good guy breaking up.

 

If the dumper told the actual truth while it might hurt the dumpee a lot more in the beginning, it would help enormously with the healing process going forward. I mean Sing think how much further down the road you would be in your recovery if you knew the actual truth.

 

More often then not, this crap that "my life is too much of a mess right now" is just that. Crap. If you believe you are with the right person, no amount of grief in your life will make you want to leave. In fact the opposite should happen. You should be beyond determined to put things right in your life, to make sure you don't lose the person you love the most.

 

Sadly too many people on LS focus on the previous 'words' of an ex instead of the final action within the relationship which was to LEAVE. Words are great ONLY when they are backed up by consistent actions for a proper length of time..Words that are not backed up with actions tell a very inconsistent story...

 

Exactly!!!

 

You are right, if I had known I wouldn't have cried as long as I had and defended my ex to everyone including myself, saying that he was a good guy who just felt overwhelmed and needed space. You're right again, it is crap! And I believed it but I won't be that naive next time...

[Mack05]

Exactly!!!

 

You are right, if I had known I wouldn't have cried as long as I had and defended my ex to everyone including myself, saying that he was a good guy who just felt overwhelmed and needed space. You're right again, it is crap! And I believed it but I won't be that naive next time...

 

I want you to be naive. That is what makes your kind of love 'pure'. The world is too cynical as it is..

 

I know we went back and forth in a few of your threads. I'm sure for awhile you said to a friend "I hate that blunt Mack05 guy"..Can't blame you there

 

I NEVER wanted you to change Sing. All I wanted to do was to help you, help yourself..There is a big difference. Now you are in a place where you can do that. I just wish you didn't need this revelation to do it...

 

I really don't want you to come to my side of the fence...Especially when I'm digging so hard to get back!

[singme2sleep]

The only "positive" about this is that at least you truly KNOW that it's over. Hope can be burnt to a crisp and it's ashes spread on the field of the new you (really the old you) rising from this.

 

Indeed! I'm glad I know now so I can stop wasting tears on him. Now it's all about improving myself and feeling good again.

 

My heart goes out to you singme2sleep. You sound like a wonderful woman, one I would be glad to love and cherish and appreciate and there are guys like me out there that are good and romantic and lovers with tattoos and muscles and a bad boy side but mainly just the exterior. My interior is full of love that is waiting for the right woman.

 

Thank you, that's sweet! And its what I want, bad boy on the outside and good guy on the inside. hmmm where do you live? Lol

[singme2sleep]

I want you to be naive. That is what makes your kind of love 'pure'. The world is too cynical as it is..

 

Ok lol I will try to hold onto some naivety!

 

I know we went back and forth in a few of your threads. I'm sure for awhile you said to a friend "I hate that blunt Mack05 guy"..Can't blame you there

 

Not really, but I did think you were kinda harsh. Wish I had known from the beginning though that you were right with your overall intentions. Honestly, I needed blunt!

 

I NEVER wanted you to change Sing. All I wanted to do was to help you, help yourself..There is a big difference. Now you are in a place where you can do that. I just wish you didn't need this revelation to do it...

 

I really don't want you to come to my side of the fence...Especially when I'm digging so hard to get back!

 

I will help pull you back lol

[ThatJustHappened]

I have no particular words of wisdom, but I can offer you a hug. ((((SM2S))))

[ThatJustHappened]

Oh, and I can tell you a story that will make you laugh.

 

Not the current guy, but the ex before him..the evil one. It was a very volatile relationship, lots of on/off. For the final break up, he dumped me on my birthday, in the middle of the street in a strange city, and screaming at the top of his lungs (we'd driven there together for my birthday and he threatened to leave without me). 3 days later, he's at a work party (we worked together and this was a HUGE party) with a new girl (not even any of the ones he cheated on me with, a brand new one). He leans down to give me a hug and whispers "be nice" in my ear.

 

I cried for 12 hours and then I just...stopped. I didn't care anymore. He has since tried to come back numerous times (he even sent me a plane ticket to Hawaii) and I feel absolutely nothing.

 

Hope that helps!!!

[Mack05]

TJH can I get the plane ticket to hawaii? Hashtag willingtodoanything :-)

[boblet]

Hey sing, I'm sorry you had to find out about it, I'm also in a similar boat, JUST this weekend I was telling my friend I felt like I'm moving on, and that same friend ran into him the next day randomly and I creeped him and found out he has a new girl. My ex also broke up with me via text, thought I will say I was overseas, and he could have still done so on Skype. Even when I was back, he didn't want to say it to my face. Pathetic..

 

It really hurts sing but think about it: is this the kind of love you want for yourself? If he really valued you, why would he not have enough respect to say it to your face? Also, it's either that he didn't value you in the first place, or he is rebounding. Either way, you're better off! Your post reminded me so much of my own experience at the moment, because I too want someone older. It sucks when you FINALLY feel like you're moving on and something just pops up, just the other day I posted on LS also about moving on and it feels like a regression to square one all over again.

 

However, I think Mack gave great advice about understanding your flaws, and it's easy to feel like you weren't adequate because of all the rejection.. but I read recently "Your value does not diminish just because someone does not understand your worth". So I think these losers just don't have the capacity to understand a good thing, and in the end it's their loss. Even if he doesn't realize how much he lost, the fact that he doesn't have the capacity to appreciate you and your worth means that HE is unworthy of your time, so don't think otherwise.. Stay strong, you've already come this far, and sooner than later you won't be hurting xx

[singme2sleep]

Oh, and I can tell you a story that will make you laugh.

 

Not the current guy, but the ex before him..the evil one. It was a very volatile relationship, lots of on/off. For the final break up, he dumped me on my birthday, in the middle of the street in a strange city, and screaming at the top of his lungs (we'd driven there together for my birthday and he threatened to leave without me). 3 days later, he's at a work party (we worked together and this was a HUGE party) with a new girl (not even any of the ones he cheated on me with, a brand new one). He leans down to give me a hug and whispers "be nice" in my ear.

 

I cried for 12 hours and then I just...stopped. I didn't care anymore. He has since tried to come back numerous times (he even sent me a plane ticket to Hawaii) and I feel absolutely nothing.

 

Hope that helps!!!

 

Actually that did help, but I'm sorry you got dumped on your bday...that's the worst! It must have felt good to shoot him down when he came crawling back though?

[boblet]

Your Ex and Sing's Ex are losers, right?

 

What does that say about you and Sing since you decided to date, enter into a relationship with them, sleep with them, fall in love with them, etc. and stay with them for a long, long time?

 

Sing dumped a guy before the Ex therefore she is a loser who didn't see the guys value and know his worth... Why are you talking to her and helping her out? According to you she was / is a loser, right?

 

I love how people have to tear down and destroy all the good times, memories, special moments, etc. and their Ex... To feel better about themselves.

 

In my case... My self-worth, self-esteem, validation and approval comes from within so I don't have to go the route. Since I actually LOVED the person I was with... I hope they find the happiness and whatever it is / who they are looking for.

 

Some people on here are going to be very, very bitter, gender haters and angry when they get in the there late 20s after all the dating / LTRs / Break ups you will experience.

 

Wow no need to bash so hard although ya you're right, shouldn't have classified them as losers lol I don't actually think of my ex as a loser, just got caught up in what I was saying. I more so meant people that have done you wrong. I don't demean my experiences with my ex and I did love my ex, in fact I mostly feel bad about some of what I did in the relationship and I'm thankful that he has allowed me to grow as a person. However, I think it is normal to be resentful/angry etc for the way things play out and I was just responding to whatever sing was feeling, didn't keep up with her entire BU story. Lol, and I am certainly not a bitter hater, and I will forgive him and myself, like many others on here in time.

[boblet]

Great attitude and a positive way at looking it.

 

Break ups are TOUGH and when you are going through the "Stages of Grief"... I think the Anger stage is the worst.

 

Most definitely! Positivity is most definitely the only way to get through it without being cynical/bitter, that's one thing I've learnt in this process. Best wishes for your journey as well xx

[LoveB86]

Exactly!!!

 

You are right, if I had known I wouldn't have cried as long as I had and defended my ex to everyone including myself, saying that he was a good guy who just felt overwhelmed and needed space. You're right again, it is crap! And I believed it but I won't be that naive next time...

 

Yes Yes! I did the same thing by respecting his space at the very beginning of the breakup/time away . Infact, in my thread, I copy and paste the exact words he text me with the "i got so much on my mind" blah blah bs! The so-much-on-his-mind was the other girl who he was falling for! Now there official and it's rather stupid that he was not upfront from the beginning. What was he so darn ashame for? This idiot works down the street from me, maybe he thought he could run and hide ::sarcasm::

 

All in all, I believed every word and realize it was all lies! and a lie after a lie after a lie.