singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) The ironic thing is that I must have sensed it on some level because earlier today I had finally convinced myself its over. Then as I was about to go to bed, my sister tells me she saw something on Facebook that's going to upset me but I need to know. She said she typed in my ex's name out of curiosity and his profile pic was him and some girl. Even though I've been off Facebook for 2 months now, I couldn't just ignore that so I logged in. Sure enough as of April 5th, the bastard officially has a new girlfriend! I feel like such a fool for crying over somebody who has prob been sleeping with this new girl for weeks if not more! I became filled with rage and after I commented "wow" under the status of his new relationship, I decided to send him a message telling him off before deleting/blocking him. I basically wrote that he must really be enjoying his alone time (sarcasm) and told him he was a coward and a jerk! Then I said lose my number and sent it. Like ten minutes later he texts me saying he's sorry, that he didn't mean to hurt me blah blah blah! Was going to not reply but couldn't resist. I texted back "no I'm sorry, sorry for believing you were different" and he comes back with more bull**** excuses. So I say "I just need to know one thing, for closure. Did you really love me?" And the A-hole answers back that he was confused about how he felt for me. Guess that's a NO...and what a slap in the face! As much as this hurts, now I can force myself to hate him and move on. It just kills to know that he never really thought I was the one (like he used to say) or even loved me, when he was everything to me. Well we really do live and learn. I will never be that naive again and now my standards are staying up. I should have listened to all the tough love from people on here, who ended up being right. I just didn't want to see it, but my life is not some fairy tale and he def isn't Prince Charming. Sigh Anyone have some words of wisdom? It's 3:30 am and I can't sleep because I literally feel like throwing up... Think I need an older man, done with immature boys who don't know what they want! Edited April 16, 2013 by singme2sleep 3
thefooloftheyear Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 The ironic thing is that I must have sensed it on some level because earlier today I had finally convinced myself its over. Then as I was about to go to bed, my sister tells me she saw something on Facebook that's going to upset me but I need to know. She said she typed in my ex's name out of curiosity and his profile pic was him and some girl. Even though I've been off Facebook for 2 months now, I couldn't just ignore that so I logged in. Sure enough as of April 5th, the bastard officially has a new girlfriend! I feel like such a fool for crying over somebody who has prob been sleeping with this new girl for weeks if not more! I became filled with rage and after I commented "wow" under the status of his new relationship, I decided to send him a message telling him off before deleting/blocking him. I basically wrote that he must really be enjoying his alone time (sarcasm) and told him he was a coward and a jerk! Then I said lose my number and sent it. Like ten minutes later he texts me saying he's sorry, that he didn't mean to hurt me blah blah blah! Was going to not reply but couldn't resist. I texted back "no I'm sorry, sorry for believing you were different" and he comes back with more bull**** excuses. So I say "I just need to know one thing, for closure. Did you really love me?" And the A-hole answers back that he was confused about how he felt for me. Guess that's a NO...and what a slap in the face! As much as this hurts, now I can force myself to hate him and move on. It just kills to know that he never really thought I was the one (like he used to say) or even loved me, when he was everything to me. Well we really do live and learn. I will never be that naive again and now my standards are staying up. I should have listened to all the tough love from people on here, who ended up being right. I just didn't want to see it, but my life is not some fairy tale and he def isn't Prince Charming. Sigh Anyone have some words of wisdom? It's 3:30 am and I can't sleep because I literally feel like throwing up... Think I need an older man, done with immature boys who don't know what they want! So sorry! Frankly I dont know why in Gods name your sister told you this? What good did she think was going to come of it? I wish someone would make a virus that would put FB out of business. That crap just ruins people's lives! Anyway, just continue to focus on yourself and try not to let this setback keep you froom making continued progress. I wish you all the best, SM2S. Just hang in there... TFOY 1
LostOne1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 #1 you shouldn't have said anything to him.. that will make him FEEL BETTER now knowing he wins! he has you on your mind.. you just gave him all the power... #2 chances are some guys will GO OUT with another girl if they are in pain. I know some guys do that kinda as a rebound thing.. But a guy that really liked a girl or loved her probably wouldnt have done as what he did.. All I can say is I know the feeling when you see your ex with someone else. While we ourselves are still single. But I suppose it DOES help us move on. I moved on faster knowing she replaced me. Sadly though I think girls can easily replace guys compared t guys finding a new girl. In my case I've found it hard to find new people and then have them interested in me. Where as my ex just has to kiss a guy and she's official.. Just hang in there it's gonna be tough, but you gotta know that you will live and learn from this! I agree with you I wish girls would take a look at guys better. I lost 2 girls recently, because they didn't want to give me a chance. They wanted to give some party boys a chance and I bet they will feel like you do right now. They will realize that they chose the wrong guys... and I hope by then I am long gone with someone else. Oh and I hate when girls think some random guy will come outta no where. Sweep the girl off her feet and be prince charming. That's what HOLLYWOOD makes you believe... but it IS the real world... and in the real world no guy or girl is perfect./ I think many girls realize this in their later 20's and early 30's after the bad boys don't provide the respect and living the girl needs. Take it this way.. DATE nice guys.. the guy who's probably a little shy at first. But would get you a card on your bday, vday and other special occasions and WILL remember the important things about you, him and both of you together. 3
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 So sorry! Frankly I dont know why in Gods name your sister told you this? What good did she think was going to come of it? I wish someone would make a virus that would put FB out of business. That crap just ruins people's lives! Anyway, just continue to focus on yourself and try not to let this setback keep you froom making continued progress. I wish you all the best, SM2S. Just hang in there... TFOY I'm glad she told me so I can stop crying over him! The fact that he said all the right things, makes me worry if I will ever be able to trust again. How can I believe a guy in the future if he tells me he loves me!?
Mack05 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Firstly it's a good thing this happened. This will REALLY help you move on. Try to use this time apart to learn from your mistakes in the relationship. To grow as a person. Try not waste too much time being angry. You have already spent more then enough time on this bellend. He is not worth it. Plus he doesn't deserve your kind of love. It is wasted on him. The only thing I will advise you on is please don't become cynical about life and romance. Many guys have commented that they would kill for a loyal girl like you. It's a rare quality in today's world. You view love the way it should be viewed. Don't change. I used to be like you. It let cynical people change how I view the world and how I view love. I am trying to undo the damage caused but in todays world it ain't easy. Even on LS people are so cynical about Love. Don't go down this route. Having a love as 'pure' as yours is amazing. It's why people get depressed in their 30's because that 'pure' love is too hard to find. People have been screwed over so often that word 'pure' doesn't exist in their vocabulary. Don't change. Just work on your flaws. Understand your flaws, get a better understanding of who you are as a person. Use this is a learning experience. I have ZERO doubt you will get everything you want in the future. Sadly in life we have to endure these bumps along the way. As long as we use these bumps to grow, everything turns out good.. When you emotionally grow your instincts improve so the next time you are ready to trust a guy, your instincts will be spot on.. 5
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 #1 you shouldn't have said anything to him.. that will make him FEEL BETTER now knowing he wins! he has you on your mind.. you just gave him all the power... #2 chances are some guys will GO OUT with another girl if they are in pain. I know some guys do that kinda as a rebound thing.. But a guy that really liked a girl or loved her probably wouldnt have done as what he did.. All I can say is I know the feeling when you see your ex with someone else. While we ourselves are still single. But I suppose it DOES help us move on. I moved on faster knowing she replaced me. Sadly though I think girls can easily replace guys compared t guys finding a new girl. In my case I've found it hard to find new people and then have them interested in me. Where as my ex just has to kiss a guy and she's official.. Just hang in there it's gonna be tough, but you gotta know that you will live and learn from this! I agree with you I wish girls would take a look at guys better. I lost 2 girls recently, because they didn't want to give me a chance. They wanted to give some party boys a chance and I bet they will feel like you do right now. They will realize that they chose the wrong guys... and I hope by then I am long gone with someone else. Oh and I hate when girls think some random guy will come outta no where. Sweep the girl off her feet and be prince charming. That's what HOLLYWOOD makes you believe... but it IS the real world... and in the real world no guy or girl is perfect./ I think many girls realize this in their later 20's and early 30's after the bad boys don't provide the respect and living the girl needs. Take it this way.. DATE nice guys.. the guy who's probably a little shy at first. But would get you a card on your bday, vday and other special occasions and WILL remember the important things about you, him and both of you together. It really doesn't matter who has the power at this point, I'm so hurt by this that I wouldn't take him back now if he literally came crawling! I feel better telling him off and I hope he feels guilty for breaking my heart into a million pieces. He made me so many promises and it was all lies, I feel like a foolish girl. And you're right about nice guys, I always go for bad boys and they screw me over every time.
LostOne1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I'm glad she told me so I can stop crying over him! The fact that he said all the right things, makes me worry if I will ever be able to trust again. How can I believe a guy in the future if he tells me he loves me!? truth is you can't.. but you can TELL by his actions and intentions. Yeah they can change, but normally you can sense a person's style. 1
LostOne1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 It really doesn't matter who has the power at this point, I'm so hurt by this that I wouldn't take him back now if he literally came crawling! I feel better telling him off and I hope he feels guilty for breaking my heart into a million pieces. He made me so many promises and it was all lies, I feel like a foolish girl. And you're right about nice guys, I always go for bad boys and they screw me over every time. Well what you said to him WILL NOT make him feel guilty. He will laugh at you and think you are desperate and still attached to him. That's why I said you have him the upper hand. At this point BLOCK him and be DONE with him. Or he will just torture you even more. I know because my ex did this to me. As for the bad boys.. like I said.. TAKE IT AS A LESSON. Maybe you need to change the guys you see. I wish girls would take this advice more often, but seems like it doesn't sink into most woman's minds and they learn the hard way sadly... 1
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) Firstly it's a good thing this happened. This will REALLY help you move on. Try to use this time apart to learn from your mistakes in the relationship. To grow as a person. Try not waste too much time being angry. You have already spent more then enough time on this bellend. He is not worth it. Plus he doesn't deserve your kind of love. It is wasted on him. The only thing I will advise you on is please don't become cynical about life and romance. Many guys have commented that they would kill for a loyal girl like you. It's a rare quality in today's world. You view love the way it should be viewed. Don't change. I used to be like you. It let cynical people change how I view the world and how I view love. I am trying to undo the damage caused but in todays world it ain't easy. Even on LS people are so cynical about Love. Don't go down this route. Having a love as 'pure' as yours is amazing. It's why people get depressed in their 30's because that 'pure' love is too hard to find. People have been screwed over so often that word 'pure' doesn't exist in their vocabulary. Don't change. Just work on your flaws. Understand your flaws, get a better understanding of who you are as a person. Use this is a learning experience. I have ZERO doubt you will get everything you want in the future. Sadly in life we have to endure these bumps along the way. As long as we use these bumps to grow, everything turns out good.. When you emotionally grow your instincts improve so the next time you are ready to trust a guy, your instincts will be spot on.. I should have listened to you! Def will use this as a learning experience, I always have to learn the hard way unfortunately. The part that bums me out the most is that now I have to start all over again. And that's if I even meet someone nice, I refuse to go sit in a bar and wait for a drunken idiot to hit on me (been there, done that) it's hard to meet good guys anymore. And I also can't imagine opening up to someone new, it took a lot for me to open up to my ex. I don't want to become cynical but I really thought he was Mr Right. How could I have been so very wrong??! Edited April 16, 2013 by singme2sleep
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Well what you said to him WILL NOT make him feel guilty. He will laugh at you and think you are desperate and still attached to him. That's why I said you have him the upper hand. At this point BLOCK him and be DONE with him. Or he will just torture you even more. I know because my ex did this to me. As for the bad boys.. like I said.. TAKE IT AS A LESSON. Maybe you need to change the guys you see. I wish girls would take this advice more often, but seems like it doesn't sink into most woman's minds and they learn the hard way sadly... Oh well, I don't care what he thinks of me now. I'm done being his doormat.
Mack05 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) I should have listened to you! Def will use this as a learning experience, I always have to learn the hard way unfortunately. The part that bums me out the most is that now I have to start all over again. And that's if I even meet someone nice, I refuse to go sit in a bar and wait for a drunken idiot to hit on me (been there, done that) it's hard to meet good guys anymore. And I also can't imagine opening up to someone new, it took a lot for me to open up to my ex. I don't want to become cynical but I really thought he was Mr Right. How could I have been so very wrong??! We are all allowed to make mistakes Sing. Don't beat yourself up singme2sleep. I think right now it's important to spend time on your own. Dating now won't end well. People date after a relationship to fill a big emotional gap that is within them. The thing is rebounding is very unhealthy way to fill this emotional gap inside. Just as drinking booze, over eating, drugs are. Try buy the book 'the power of now'. A book that' helps think in the here and now, not's what is before or the future. Great book. When you are ready, I saw an idea that I thought was really cool about meeting a guy in another thread. Basically this girl looked her best and went for a coffee on her own. She brought a book but every so often would subtly make eye contact with people in the coffee place. As a 'good' guy I would really go for this. Seeing a beautiful girl drinking coffee, I couldn't resist wanting to get to know her. Happy, confident girls have an aura. Their beauty shines from within. Guys attract to them like bee's to honey. Bad guys it seems are attracted to what they see on the 'outside'. A good guy will look for what is within. To see within her. BTW I think you will know you have met Mr right when he sings you to sleep and he doesn't even know your knickname :-) Edited April 16, 2013 by Mack05 3
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 We are all allowed to make mistakes Sing. Don't beat yourself up singme2sleep. I think right now it's important to spend time on your own. Dating now won't end well. People date after a relationship to fill a big emotional gap that is within them. The thing is rebounding is very unhealthy way to fill this emotional gap inside. Just as drinking booze, over eating, drugs are. Try buy the book 'the power of now'. A book that' helps think in the here and now, not's what is before or the future. Great book. When you are ready, I saw an idea that I thought was really cool about meeting a guy in another thread. Basically this girl looked her best and went for a coffee on her own. She brought a book but every so often would subtly make eye contact with people in the coffee place. As a 'good' guy I would really go for this. Seeing a beautiful girl drinking coffee, I couldn't resist wanting to get to know her. Happy, confident girls have an aura. Their beauty shines from within. Guys attract to them like bee's to honey. Bad guys it seems are attracted to what they see on the 'outside'. A good guy will look for what is within. To see within her. BTW I think you will know you have met Mr right when he sings you to sleep and he doesn't even know your knickname :-) Thanks Mack. And I hope you're right because my ex didn't like my singing to him lol. Oh the irony...
Mack05 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Thanks Mack. And I hope you're right because my ex didn't like my singing to him lol. Oh the irony... Well I think I can speak for all the single guys on LS when I say you can sing us to sleep anytime 1
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Well I think I can speak for all the single guys on LS when I say you can sing us to sleep anytime Thank you lol. The thing is, even though we broke up 3 months ago, I feel rejected all over again. He claimed at the time that his life was screwed up and that he couldn't be with anyone for awhile. But the truth is, he just didn't want to be with ME! Seeing his pic with her and their official status, was like a knife in my heart. Idk how to not let this affect my self-esteem. He may as well have cheated or left me for her...that's what it feels like. I thought I was special to him!
Pisces13 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Sorry to hear about this singme2sleep (I didn't see this topic until I posted in your other one). Like I said in your other topic though, your life will go on, you will continue to grow and improve as a person, you are going to be a better person moving forward. You sound like you have a lot to offer someone, don't let this experience get you down! 1
Treasa Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So sorry! Frankly I dont know why in Gods name your sister told you this? What good did she think was going to come of it? TFOY This. I'm so glad I don't have siblings or friends who would do something like this.
k1380 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I'm glad she told me so I can stop crying over him! The fact that he said all the right things, makes me worry if I will ever be able to trust again. How can I believe a guy in the future if he tells me he loves me!? God I know what you mean! I said pretty much the same thing to a friend of mine the other day. What can a guy possible say to me now that I can trust in? After, you are the one, i'm yours as long as you want me, I want to live with you, marry you, I love you...what else is there? What can make me believe a guy now, after all those things were said and still were untrue? I don't know. I just don't know... 2
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 God I know what you mean! I said pretty much the same thing to a friend of mine the other day. What can a guy possible say to me now that I can trust in? After, you are the one, i'm yours as long as you want me, I want to live with you, marry you, I love you...what else is there? What can make me believe a guy now, after all those things were said and still were untrue? I don't know. I just don't know... Exactly. It's like words mean nothing.
brokengirl3 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Same here!After, you are my soul mate ,i will always be with you,i love you, you are so special ,im bleesed to have you in my life , i will always love you!WHO IM GONNA TRUST? 1
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Same here!After, you are my soul mate ,i will always be with you,i love you, you are so special ,im bleesed to have you in my life , i will always love you!WHO IM GONNA TRUST? And we blame ourselves for believing them...Smh
brokengirl3 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 And we blame ourselves for believing them...Smh exactly!!How stupid !! 1
ab5 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) It's when I hear stories like this that gets me really scared about whether I can trust any guy again. Me and my ex broke up shortly before we were supposed to get married. He promised the world to me, even few days before the breakup told me he loved me so much, wouldn't leave my side ever, be with me through all my hardships, etc. Our breakup happened while we were on the phone, it wasn't even officially a breakup. He lost his temper on me, I freaked out (not just over this, but his recent change in behavior), and told him I needed more time (b/c I was scared after seeing the recent changes in his behavior). I know it was all a result of too much pressure and stress in both of our lives, no one cheated on anyone. Thinking that we just can't give up, I tried to contact him (multiple times) after the breakup, he ignored all attempts until he finally told me he basically had no time for me. It was all so cold. How can someone who professed his great love, just give up, and suddenly be so cold? Even after his behavior, I still love him, and had hoped he would try contacting me. Well as time is passing, my hope is disappearing. And it just makes me so sad that someone I still love so deeply, suddenly didn't give a crap about me and disappeared without giving our relationship another chance or even proper closure, face to face. How can one NOT be cynical to love after going through these kind of experiences? Edited April 16, 2013 by ab5 1
Author singme2sleep Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 It's when I hear stories like this that gets me really scared about whether I can trust any guy again. Me and my ex broke up shortly before we were supposed to get married. He promised the world to me, even few days before the breakup told me he loved me so much, wouldn't leave my side ever, be with me through all my hardships, etc. Our breakup happened while we were on the phone, it wasn't even officially a breakup. He lost his temper on me, I freaked out (not just over this, but his recent change in behavior), and told him I needed more time (b/c I was scared after seeing the recent changes in his behavior). I know it was all a result of too much pressure and stress in both of our lives, no one cheated on anyone. Thinking that we just can't give up, I tried to contact him (multiple times) after the breakup, he ignored all attempts until he finally told me he basically had no time for me. It was all so cold. How can someone who professed his great love, just give up, and suddenly be so cold? Even after his behavior, I still love him, and had hoped he would try contacting me. Well as time is passing, my hope is disappearing. And it just makes me so sad that someone I still love so deeply, suddenly didn't give a crap about me and disappeared without giving our relationship another chance or even proper closure, face to face. How can one NOT be cynical to love after going through these kind of experiences? Yep, I hear ya! And I don't understand it either, it's like they decide to breakup and become robots or something. Right now I have so much anger built up towards my ex, I'd like to kick him in the balls and watch him cry out in pain on the floor while I laugh---too much?? Lol
misswillow Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Oh SM2S, I'm sorry this happened to you. I know the pain you must be feeling. But I'm glad you're feeling angry...that's a much better emotion to feel than constant longing and sadness. 1
k1380 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 It's when I hear stories like this that gets me really scared about whether I can trust any guy again. Me and my ex broke up shortly before we were supposed to get married. He promised the world to me, even few days before the breakup told me he loved me so much, wouldn't leave my side ever, be with me through all my hardships, etc. Our breakup happened while we were on the phone, it wasn't even officially a breakup. He lost his temper on me, I freaked out (not just over this, but his recent change in behavior), and told him I needed more time (b/c I was scared after seeing the recent changes in his behavior). I know it was all a result of too much pressure and stress in both of our lives, no one cheated on anyone. Thinking that we just can't give up, I tried to contact him (multiple times) after the breakup, he ignored all attempts until he finally told me he basically had no time for me. It was all so cold. How can someone who professed his great love, just give up, and suddenly be so cold? Even after his behavior, I still love him, and had hoped he would try contacting me. Well as time is passing, my hope is disappearing. And it just makes me so sad that someone I still love so deeply, suddenly didn't give a crap about me and disappeared without giving our relationship another chance or even proper closure, face to face. How can one NOT be cynical to love after going through these kind of experiences? I had a similar experience. It's been a month now. My ex and I never fought and had a great time together. Told me and all his friends I was the one, blah blah. Came home one morning after work and found a note saying it was over. I wasn't even worth a f***ing conversation. We never spoke face to face or otherwise about the break. Even though I tried, sent some texts. He would never touch the subject aside from, you will get closure in time. I'm still in shock to be honest.
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