Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I am four months broken up now and am healing more every day. Honestly, I never want to see the guy again. He treated me so badly that I'm not interested in ever thinking about him again. NC is not difficult anymore, it is something I do to protect myself from his cruelty and coldness. When we first broke up I suspected I was pregnant but I got my period a week late and haven't worried since. But there have been warning signs: -I've come close to fainting to the point that I've had to lay down on the ground and throw up in the grass. -I've had severe tachycardia. -I've had hot flashes. -Throwing up. Obviously. -No appetite. I've gone down a pant size. Today I added all the symptoms up and feared I might be pregnant. For those familiar with my story, I have extreme stressors in my life right now that would delimit the amount of HCG in my system should I be pregnant. There is also a 75% chance that any child I have would have a hole in his/her heart like myself. Any fetus with a defect will mean lower levels of HCG in a pregnant female's body. My grandmother had regular periods all through two of her pregnancies. One of them she miscarried and one was my father who has the most severe heart problems in the family. I took two home pregnancy tests today. Both came out negative. I'm still a little scared. My sister suggested it might be iron deficiency since I haven't been eating as much and I'm a vegetarian. She helped me through the day and told me not to panic, to take the tests and if I kept with symptoms to get an appointment. Anyway, the insane fear of being pregnant only helped me remember how good it was that he and I are broken up. He would be such a terrible father! I can't trust him at all. I even had to run through my mind if I should even tell him if I were pregnant. (For me, I believe in the right to have an abortion but I don't know if I ever could have one personally. We'll see if it ever comes down to it.) It was such a huge relief when I got the negatives! It was like another door shut between us, more safety and walls that will not go down again if I can help it. I've been very emotional with him and it's honestly helped loads in making even more walls between us. I want him FAR away from me. I didn't do it to hurt him, I did it because I was out of control. But blunt tool that uncontrolled emotion is, it has kept him away from me. If I had been pregnant I would have to take those walls down again and that would be pure hell. He treats me like I'm crazy. If I'm still throwing up in a month of eating carrots, kidney beans and spinach I'll head to the clinic but I'm almost 100% sure I'm not pregnant. Thank god! Has anyone else had scares like these? I hear about a lot of men who get angry when their exes call up hysterical, thinking they might be pregnant, but there is another side...It's terrifying to think you might be pregnant and to be all alone. He has no idea I even thought I was pregnant when he broke up with me and he doesn't need to know ever.
veggirl Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 WTF you think you could be FOUR MONTHS pregnant? Does stress actually effect HCG levels? I never heard that. If I thought I was pregnant with an exes baby, I'd find out IMMEDIATELY if it was true or not and then schedule termination. I wouldn't ever say a word to him, unless I needed 1/2 the money or something.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Veggirl, You didn't read the post and/or you are not familiar with how HCG works. Both perhaps.
venusianx13 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 When we first broke up I suspected I was pregnant but I got my period a week late and haven't worried since. But there have been warning signs: -I've come close to fainting to the point that I've had to lay down on the ground and throw up in the grass. -I've had severe tachycardia. -I've had hot flashes. -Throwing up. Obviously. -No appetite. I've gone down a pant size. Today I added all the symptoms up and feared I might be pregnant. For those familiar with my story, I have extreme stressors in my life right now that would delimit the amount of HCG in my system should I be pregnant. There is also a 75% chance that any child I have would have a hole in his/her heart like myself. Any fetus with a defect will mean lower levels of HCG in a pregnant female's body. My grandmother had regular periods all through two of her pregnancies. One of them she miscarried and one was my father who has the most severe heart problems in the family. I'm sorry you're going through this... however, I'd schedule a dr's apt right now, as from what I know about the subject, this could possibly be an ectopic pregnancy. The symptoms you are having are not that of a normal/healthy pregnancy, and it would also result in lower/abnormal HCG levels. This is potentially dangerous, and even if it's not a ectopic pregnancy, it still sounds like it could be very serious. I didn't suggest this to scare you, but rather to urge you to seek immediate medical attention. As for staying NC with your, ex, good for you. You certainly don't need additional stress at this time.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Venus: Do pregnancy tests come out negative with an ectopic pregnancy? I really don't have much money. I'm spending everything extra on counseling. I can call Planned Parenthood right now and get an appointment but it would mean not paying a bill or going further into debt. I can do it but I want to do it only in a situation where it is the smartest thing to do. You really think I could be pregnant? I have SO much stress in my life right now. I have severe PTSD and complicated grief issues. I run my own business and help take care of my dying mom. I have a family member staying in my spare bedroom who just went through invasive spinal surgery and had complications. I had to call the ambulance every day for a week at the beginning of April. And then the breakup which was my final straw. He moved in next door with his new gf and he's been horrid. It's been so hard. I've been listening to my body and went to a therapist to get help because my self-diagnosis was that it was triggered PTSD. I've been having flashbacks every day and my body has reactions as if the past violent situations are happening in real time. I thought my body was doing that until yesterday. I was outside gardening and I almost fainted while working on my kale. I wasn't having a flashback at all. Thanks for listening. I'm having such a time. If it is ectopic I have no idea how I can pay for an abortion. My sister had cancer last year and I paid for her operation. Maybe as a family, if it is worst case scenario, I can just ask for help from extended family. I just lost my Dad and my Aunties and Uncles want to help. I have to know what I'll do before I go in so I can function no matter the diagnosis. Thank you.
veggirl Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Veggirl, You didn't read the post and/or you are not familiar with how HCG works. Both perhaps. I don't know, what I read on google said stress would not effect hcg levels. I did read your thread, when you first broke up 4 mos ago you thought you might be preg and have had symptoms ever since although got a neg preg test. If you are ectopic, insurance would cover the procedure if you have health insurance.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 While I was writing this I sold an $80.00 product which should get me into a sliding-scale Planned Parenthood appointment. It was money I wasn't expecting and it's nearly pure profit. Thank you universe! You are beautiful! I really needed that right now. Off I go to make an appointment. I'll keep you all updated. For the guys not in the know: An ectopic pregnancy is life-threatening. If I do not find out and take care of it now I could very easily die. It is a pregnancy outside of the uterus. The fetus always dies (with extremely rare exceptions) and the mother will likely hemorrhage to death if no steps are taken.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 veggirl, I don't have insurance. I've been applied and been denied 3 different times. Because of pre-existing conditions the state insurance I qualify for would cost 1200/month.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 veggirl, I've also been having my period! Most girls, including myself, sigh a breath of relief when they have their period. Mine was pretty normal. A little lighter but I chalked it up to stress and not eating much. For four months I've had slightly lighter but otherwise perfectly normal periods complete with cramps. Different pregnant women share different symbiosis with a growing fetus. If a woman is stressed the body chemistry will see that the mother needs more resources. HCG is sort of a measurement of how much resource the fetus is demanding and what the mother's body can afford. It's a chemical evolved to keep both mother and fetus alive and healthy. If too many resources go to the fetus the mother will get sick and the very environment the fetus lives in will deteriorate. In my stressed out state there would be a lop-sided demand for resources to go to my body and not a fetus, therefore a lower level of HCG. Really f****** fascinating reads. I think Sapolsky wrote a popular book chapter on this and I'd recommend that.
CaliBabe Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Good luck to you Seachelle, I hope your okay, please come back to LS and update us. Prayers are with you.
Author Seachelle1 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 I am definitely 100% NOT pregnant. The doctor told me it was good I came in because I definitely have all the symptoms of ectopic pregnancy. My friend's wife had an ectopic pregnancy and nearly died from it so I'm well aware the seriousness. But, thank you universe, it seems to be the stress and not eating enough. The next time a guy tries to have unprotected sex when I don't have birth control I'm going to break up with him. If he can't wrap his mind around the fact that I could get pregnant and would likely carry all the responsibility which is huge then he isn't mature enough to be with me. After the appointment I made myself spinach and a big plate of enchiladas last night. I went to visit my sister and mother who live next door and played with their new puppy. Afterwards I went to the gym and worked out for two hours. I'm gonna buy iron after my counseling appointment today. This has been yet another wake up call to listen to my body and take care! I have definitely learned a lot. I'm spending $480.00 a month on my therapy. It's been hard to make ends meet. For my business this weekend I found a product worth several thousand dollars (and only spent $2.00 on it). I feel like whenever things get desperate and untenable they do start to get better. I just have to wait the storms out. It's sunny outside and blooming in my beautiful neck of the woods. I climbed a mountain a couple weekends ago and will go again this weekend. I just want to put my backpack on and head out to the backcountry for the summer! I'm hunting for a backpacking buddy that I can camp with. It will be okay. We'll all be okay. Thank you all for being here. 3
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