intrepid Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So here is the story. During high school, my friend was dating this girl. In fact, they were dating when I first met them. I soon got to know their friends and we all hung out together as a group almost all the time. During this time, I really got to know this girl. I guess you could say our personalities just "clicked". I knew at the time that I liked her, but I am not they type to wreck relationships. So I just decided to put my feelings aside. Me and all my friends thought they would get married as soon as they graduated, and they even mentioned "plans" a few times while we were all hanging out. I never saw what came next. About 5 months ago my brother told me that they broke up, or rather SHE broke up with him. My friend (the guy) was devastated. I felt really bad for him, so I continued to remain distant from this girl. I knew it would be a douche move to ask this girl out, especially since it had such an impact on his life. During the next 6 months after their breakup, I was working a 6 month internship for school. Once that was over, I needed to get a job fast that would pay for gas until next semester when I go to a university. So I talked to some friends, and they recommended I go work at this retail store who needed employees and would be ok with the limited amount of time I would be employed there. Coincidentally, It was also the same place this girl worked. I knew this beforehand, but I decided that this was the best option for me. Now I work with this girl almost every week, and our friendship is beginning to rekindle itself, as are the feelings I had hidden about her. Question time! What do you guys think I should do? I have never felt this connection with anyone else before. Saying that "I really like this girl" would be an understatement. But at the same time, I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with my other friend (the guy). I am almost positive that it will, but I am in a bind. Do i chase the girl, or do I keep my friend? I appreciate any feedback you guys can give me. I would ask friends, but in my small town, word travels fast, so it wouldn't end well. Thanks ahead of time!
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 No. You put her on a pedestal. I guarantee she's not the special snowflake that you think she is. Besides, bros before h*es. 1
Author intrepid Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 No. You put her on a pedestal. I guarantee she's not the special snowflake that you think she is. Besides, bros before h*es. So you are the type that thinks that their isn't "the one"? That's cool, and I get that to a certain extent. I think some people really idolize someone, to the point where they make them seem better then they really are in their mind. My situation was a little bit different. I had girl friends even after I met her. I tried to make them work, but nobody seemed to really click with me. I wasn't thinking about her constantly, or trying to move in on my friends relationship. Things just happened to fall apart for them, and now I am stuck with two friends, one who I really like and the other who I hang out with from time to time. Bro's before ho*s is a really strange quote. I think it is extremely short sighted. I am not looking for a long term, intimate relationship with the dude. People move on with their lives. They experience an end to a relationship and they eventually move on. 10-20 years down the road, my friend will more than likely be married and happy. At that point, it is very unlikely that he will care who she is with. I am not trying to get a specific answer, but your point just doesn't make any sense to me.
Author intrepid Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 I would run it by your friend first. That would be a great idea. However one of three things would happen. He would get really mad, possibly to the point of killing me {(jk) i hope lol} and our friendship would be over, or he would play it off like he wasn't mad, say its cool, although he would actually be mad and our friendship would be over, or three, he would be cool with it and not care. So 2 out of 3, I lose. Idk, those odds seem pretty crappy to me, although you are probably right. That is the best way to go about it.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So you are the type that thinks that their isn't "the one"? That's cool, and I get that to a certain extent. I think some people really idolize someone, to the point where they make them seem better then they really are in their mind. My situation was a little bit different. I had girl friends even after I met her. I tried to make them work, but nobody seemed to really click with me. I wasn't thinking about her constantly, or trying to move in on my friends relationship. Things just happened to fall apart for them, and now I am stuck with two friends, one who I really like and the other who I hang out with from time to time. Bro's before ho*s is a really strange quote. I think it is extremely short sighted. I am not looking for a long term, intimate relationship with the dude. People move on with their lives. They experience an end to a relationship and they eventually move on. 10-20 years down the road, my friend will more than likely be married and happy. At that point, it is very unlikely that he will care who she is with. I am not trying to get a specific answer, but your point just doesn't make any sense to me. You sound like a really awesome friend, man. I definitely wish we were friends! Personally, I don't date my friends' girls unless they give me permission (and even then, I'm hesitant based on past experiences). There are a million girls out there. I prefer to find my own. And, no, I don't believe in "the one." Your personality clicked with her. It will click with many girls after her. It sounds like you've been watching too many Disney movies.
Author intrepid Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 You sound like a really awesome friend, man. I definitely wish we were friends! Personally, I don't date my friends' girls unless they give me permission (and even then, I'm hesitant based on past experiences). There are a million girls out there. I prefer to find my own. And, no, I don't believe in "the one." Your personality clicked with her. It will click with many girls after her. It sounds like you've been watching too many Disney movies. You are assuming that friends have some sort of entitled "ownership" to their past girlfriends. How does that make any sense? I thought each person had a part in a relationship, and either through their actions or a mutual decision, they both "decided" that It wouldn't work out. After that decision has been made, how does either person claim "ownership" over the other? This is the second thing you've said that makes absolutely no sense.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 You are assuming that friends have some sort of entitled "ownership" to their past girlfriends. How does that make any sense? I thought each person had a part in a relationship, and either through their actions or a mutual decision, they both "decided" that It wouldn't work out. After that decision has been made, how does either person claim "ownership" over the other? This is the second thing you've said that makes absolutely no sense. Over your head, bro. Don't worry about it. It's called mutual respect. It's something that friends have with each other.
Author intrepid Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Over your head, bro. Don't worry about it. It's called mutual respect. It's something that friends have with each other. Hey, I took a minute to look at what I had posted and started to realize that I had an answer to my own question before I even asked for advice. I think I was just looking for a little reassurance, although what I wanted would just end badly for everyone. I was wrong, you were right. That's not an easy thing to say but it is true. I'm not that douche guy, and honestly, everything I said in reply to your posts is because I was mad that I wasn't getting the response I was looking for. But that is ridiculous and I know it. I just needed a second to clear my head to see it. Thanks for your posts man, seriously. You helped me figure out what to do. 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Hey, I took a minute to look at what I had posted and started to realize that I had an answer to my own question before I even asked for advice. I think I was just looking for a little reassurance, although what I wanted would just end badly for everyone. I was wrong, you were right. That's not an easy thing to say but it is true. I'm not that douche guy, and honestly, everything I said in reply to your posts is because I was mad that I wasn't getting the response I was looking for. But that is ridiculous and I know it. I just needed a second to clear my head to see it. Thanks for your posts man, seriously. You helped me figure out what to do. No worries, man. Hope everything works out for you.
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