trinkletinkle Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Well, I've been dating my boy for 3 months now. We are definitely still learning about each other, but we both know that we love each other. Before we were official (and just hooking up of course!), for whatever reason, he had explained to me his reasons for not wanting to get married and quite frankly I had felt the same way. Last month, we watched a movie that had a nice wedding scene and he had commented, "You don't want that?" And I said, "Wait...you do?!" And he said yes...and that it would be nice to have a nice ceremony with your friends and family there. He even told me he had a dream where he was dancing with his mom at his wedding, and everyone seemed very happy. All I could think of was HOLY COW WHAT IS HAPPENING? I thought he didn't want to get married! Why the sudden change? We never talked about it again, just kinda brushed it aside since we're only dating. I guess my ultimate question is...WHY?? Why marry someone? What is the reason? I've been to so many weddings where the couples looked stressed, unhappy, I'm seeing marriages not working out.... I'm sorry if this may sound offensive to some, but I really don't understand it!
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Your concerns are valid. Marriages do have many ends these days. Why get married? It shows in sign(not just paper), one's willingness to permanently connect to a suitable partner. There are religious aspects to it as well. However, you and your boy...have only been dating three months...I'd not get married that fast. Least wait half-year, to a year. Test people out this way. See if he's truly what you want. Rushing can lead to divorce as well. 1
Sarabi Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 WHY?? Why marry someone? What is the reason? For Love :love: apparently...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:laugh: :laugh:!!!!For moneyFor papers/passports/citizenship (especially here...lol the little burgundy 32 page book is becoming more coveted than ever in recent years)For cultural reasonsIf you are young...to stop promiscuityTo not be aloneFor tax purposesTo protect yours/your children's interestsFor health insurance (a colleague once told me this was why he had a wife)For security (of some kind)For status (possibly? I don't know-it doesn't "do" for certain people to be single) If the people are a little more superficial then "for the big party and to wear a nice dress and be a princess for a day with everyone lavishing attention on you"
todreaminblue Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Well, I've been dating my boy for 3 months now. We are definitely still learning about each other, but we both know that we love each other. Before we were official (and just hooking up of course!), for whatever reason, he had explained to me his reasons for not wanting to get married and quite frankly I had felt the same way. Last month, we watched a movie that had a nice wedding scene and he had commented, "You don't want that?" And I said, "Wait...you do?!" And he said yes...and that it would be nice to have a nice ceremony with your friends and family there. He even told me he had a dream where he was dancing with his mom at his wedding, and everyone seemed very happy. All I could think of was HOLY COW WHAT IS HAPPENING? I thought he didn't want to get married! Why the sudden change? We never talked about it again, just kinda brushed it aside since we're only dating. I guess my ultimate question is...WHY?? Why marry someone? What is the reason? I've been to so many weddings where the couples looked stressed, unhappy, I'm seeing marriages not working out.... I'm sorry if this may sound offensive to some, but I really don't understand it! whenever i dont understand something i go back to basics....... marriage is a beautiful thing if you do it for the right reasons......spending an eternity with someone isnt something to be taken lightly....its eternal....so you better be ready for the hurdles as well as the straights i dont believe in you can just get a divorce philosophy you do it once you get it right.....so again not taken lightly..... marriage will always be worth it....if you treat marriage as priceless....once you are in a union you keep it.......because it has worth...it is priceless.......no matter what you go through ......the person beside you who stands there and knows they love you and you love them, is going through whatever you go through what joy you experience what tears you shed, what laughter what failure what success you never have to go it alone....they are there...your best friend....your lover......your confidante..........it is a union that can be as strong or weak as you want it to be...depends on how you view it........when you are wrong they dont desert you when you are right its the same......and its reciprocated.......marriage should eb eternal it should survive all....endure all........even when they annoy the frap out of you.....you dont agree with them or they with you.....marriage is the bond that keeps you working together........and yes....its old fashioned........always was meant to be....its should become renewed and old fashioned at the same time...divorce shouldnt be a consideration when getting married.....nowhere in sight or thought of...marriage........is a union that is sanctified and special...deb
Glowy sun Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Well, I think what comes out of marriage is commitment. You know the whole good times and bad, sickness and health thing. Knowing that no matter what happens, that person will be there for you and if things get hard they will try to make it work. That may seem like just window dressing for a long term relationship, but I think there's value to having everything spelled out, if only to have the comfort of having a little reminder, like a ring. I think expression gives value to feelings and emotion similar to way ideas don't have much value until they are applied. Just like saying "I love you" opens so much more in a relationship than holding it in. It's big stuff, so weddings are stressful, but marriages aren't weddings, they're the years that come after. Then there are the perks that society hands out to encourage marriage, like tax breaks and insurance coverage, but those are just nice perks.
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