How do you deal with seeing something you shouldn't have seen?

[uniqwa]

* diary status*

I Thought seeing his fb would help me to move the **** on..

but all it did was hurt me more... HE was so completely ashamed of me, he had told me " I don't want you posting stupid **** on my fb". Now I am not an idiot, I would not have posted stupid ****...

but his gf, posts having sex with ( insert his name)at motel 6 ( to show she's trash)..

and He told her " babe I'm so proud of you your 19, I love you so much"

It's literally SOOO soon. he got over me so quickly. Literally over night.

He had told me he left me because of a letter.

That was not true, he left me because he fell in love. He wanted her.. and I feel like I just got left in the dust.. It's a horrible feeling to have and it won't go away.. It doesn't let up. It just continues on day after day.

The sleepless nights, the crying.. He's alright. He's happy and he's in love.

at one point? one point he loved me?

If he loved me the moment he stopped loving me he would have told me, he would not have just gone about things the way he did.

He literally broke my heart and stomped on it.. then BECAUSE I AM NOSEY..

I was never one to go on his facebook and see his accounts, I never looked at them without him showing me, I didn't have his passwords. he could well have been talking to her for quite some time. I don't know.. the fact is he loves her, he's been in love with her, hence him not being able to stop talking to her.. and this all happened 3 months ago..

Yesterday I looked at his fb. IT was literally like a huge slap to the face. **** I would have liked to have written, things like " i love you babe" he didn't want me to do that. He didn't want ME.. He was so completely ashamed he wouldn't even add me as a friend.

I know I shouldn't be looking, but I get so completely afraid of losing him completely, even if I see pictures it makes me feel as though, he's not gone. I've tried to pretend he died, because him dying would be nicer.

I try not to think about the fact that he wanted me gone so completely that he said horrible things to me, he said horrible things to me because he wanted to push me away. He wanted me to stop loving him. He hated me that much..

THEN on top of all the ****..

He literally had her put that she was in HS. I had told him that if he left me for someone younger that would hurt me more, a high school...

he waited till valentines day to tell me he was not coming back.. after he had talked about seeing me that day, but he had already been gone, he was with her and I had no freaking idea.

He posted, " i know im an ass to you, but I owe you so much, for all the love you give me, not anymore"

he had been an ass to me.. he had been so ****ing mean to me sometimes he made me cry, now him just saying that.. he's willing to change for her, do something he wouldn't do for me.. that broke my heart even more, i didn't think it could break anymore..

I just feel that if I stop looking at him, i will feel so alone and broken. I've loved him for two years, two years, we had fights, we picked each other up. I thought we loved each other.

but TWO YEARS. and he forgot me like I was yesterdays news. moved on and is in love. and I'm just the crazy ex.

I don't talk to him. I literally don't say anything to him.. I just can't block him because it hurts me so much. it literally kills me to have to do this. It kills me to have to forget him and I flash back to all my happy times. every single time I have to block. and then when I feel like I have the strength, I just unblock him because all the memories start flooding and the break my heart. and I KNOW he does not think about me. he does not dwell on me. He does not care about me. So it makes it even harder.

Edited April 16, 2013 by uniqwa

[destroyed4sho]

* diary status*

I Thought seeing his fb would help me to move the **** on..

but all it did was hurt me more... HE was so completely ashamed of me, he had told me " I don't want you posting stupid **** on my fb". Now I am not an idiot, I would not have posted stupid ****...

but his gf, posts having sex with ( insert his name)at motel 6 ( to show she's trash)..

and He told her " babe I'm so proud of you your 19, I love you so much"

It's literally SOOO soon. he got over me so quickly. Literally over night.

He had told me he left me because of a letter.

That was not true, he left me because he fell in love. He wanted her.. and I feel like I just got left in the dust.. It's a horrible feeling to have and it won't go away.. It doesn't let up. It just continues on day after day.

The sleepless nights, the crying.. He's alright. He's happy and he's in love.

at one point? one point he loved me?

If he loved me the moment he stopped loving me he would have told me, he would not have just gone about things the way he did.

He literally broke my heart and stomped on it.. then BECAUSE I AM NOSEY..

I was never one to go on his facebook and see his accounts, I never looked at them without him showing me, I didn't have his passwords. he could well have been talking to her for quite some time. I don't know.. the fact is he loves her, he's been in love with her, hence him not being able to stop talking to her.. and this all happened 3 months ago..

Yesterday I looked at his fb. IT was literally like a huge slap to the face. **** I would have liked to have written, things like " i love you babe" he didn't want me to do that. He didn't want ME.. He was so completely ashamed he wouldn't even add me as a friend.

I know I shouldn't be looking, but I get so completely afraid of losing him completely, even if I see pictures it makes me feel as though, he's not gone. I've tried to pretend he died, because him dying would be nicer.

I try not to think about the fact that he wanted me gone so completely that he said horrible things to me, he said horrible things to me because he wanted to push me away. He wanted me to stop loving him. He hated me that much..

THEN on top of all the ****..

He literally had her put that she was in HS. I had told him that if he left me for someone younger that would hurt me more, a high school...

he waited till valentines day to tell me he was not coming back.. after he had talked about seeing me that day, but he had already been gone, he was with her and I had no freaking idea.

He posted, " i know im an ass to you, but I owe you so much, for all the love you give me, not anymore"

he had been an ass to me.. he had been so ****ing mean to me sometimes he made me cry, now him just saying that.. he's willing to change for her, do something he wouldn't do for me.. that broke my heart even more, i didn't think it could break anymore..

I just feel that if I stop looking at him, i will feel so alone and broken. I've loved him for two years, two years, we had fights, we picked each other up. I thought we loved each other.

but TWO YEARS. a[B]nd he forgot me like I was yesterdays news. moved on and is in love. and I'm just the crazy ex.[/b]

I don't talk to him. I literally don't say anything to him.. I just can't block him because it hurts me so much. it literally kills me to have to do this. It kills me to have to forget him and I flash back to all my happy times. every single time I have to block. and then when I feel like I have the strength, I just unblock him because all the memories start flooding and the break my heart. and I KNOW he does not think about me. he does not dwell on me. He does not care about me. So it makes it even harder.

 

I feel you, your not alone. My ex had done all the bolded things above as well.

Whenever I posted on her fb she deleted, but left everyone's elses posts on! ;-)

Whatever, she is an UGLY nasty person, glad thats over with.

[thefooloftheyear]

It amazes me to no end why people torture themselves with this damn Facebook!! Just dump that crap..Its a wasteland of fantasies and garbage anyway...Like even if they said their life was absolutely magnificent, who the hell knows? Its a joke...

 

Just sray away..

 

TFOY