Woggle Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 How many people here have had it or have had somebody else have it with them. I have had a few women get it with me and I will never date somebody like that because it has nothing to do with love and real feelings. It is pure ego. Some people just can't stand the fact that somebody doesn't want them so they make it their mission to conquer the other person. Once they can have it they don't want it anymore. If you really love somebody you don't stop when they love you back. This is why being a bad joy or man eater never really works in the long run. You just attract a lot of people with want what you can't have syndrome.
amaysngrace Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 My exH is a perfect example of this. He "loves" me now and wants to treat me great now but while we were married his actions said anything but that. I try to point out to him that he has a wife at home who loves him now and if they broke up he'd be missing her the same way that he misses me but he says no way. Very yes way.... 1
KungFuJoe Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Been there, done that. It's an ego trip, really. I'm sure everyone "feels" it...but only the immature actually act on it (which I admit, I was at the time).
Treasa Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Yeah, I've been guilty of this in the past a couple of times.
salparadise Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I have had a few women get it with me and I will never date somebody like that because it has nothing to do with love and real feelings. [...] Some people just can't stand the fact that somebody doesn't want them so they make it their mission to conquer the other person. Once they can have it they don't want it anymore. If you really love somebody you don't stop when they love you back. I think my previous gf had this... things progressed extremely fast as of the first meeting, as if she had already decided before even seeing me the first time that it was going to happen. We had incredible chemistry, but I now wonder how much of it she manufactured. Then I was tested a few times to see if I was firmly hooked. She found out that I was not- I was ready to walk based on things I considered deal breakers. So her enthusiasm remained high after this. But then months later, after I thought we'd worked through stuff and I was starting to think about the future, she just lost interest. There was never a fight or anything... once the challenge was gone, so was she.
candie13 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I think it all depends on how vulnerable you are, when you meet someone who parades in front of you . And how experienced. Sometimes, when you are very vulnerable, you may feel this urge to really really go after the person who seems to be slipping through your fingers. Just like those women who are really tired and really sad and feel like eating a whole tablet of chocolate, not just take a bite. It's driven my impulse, by fatigue... maybe looking for some consolation or external approval - if s/he likes me, it means I'm not that bad... So, in the end, it has a lot to do with how you feel deep down, inside. How you are. And of course, if you like to play. Some people love to play, to the point of not really caring who or how their partners really are. It's just that games cannot go on forever, one of the two will eventually either get bored or tired. I think this "wanting what you can't have" syndrome is a dangerous one, because the desire of owning them - or their attention - can be mistaken with infatuation. I think the best way to handle that is to not play along. One of my best friends told me that and I believe it's a wise approach: some people are all about conquest, all about anticipation. - So if you happen to be the object of their desire, the best way to realize just how genuine their feelings are, is to stop running. Give them the attention. Stop playing. If they loose interest, then... you have your answer. Nothing worse than having someone hang around for the wrong reasons! - If they are the object of your attention, chase them for a while, manifest your interest, but then, let them be. If they continue to run, most likely they want you to run after them. But if they really like you and are interested, they will manifest that through their action - contact you back or smth. Games are appreciated because they give thrills. Make one feel alive. Are strong, push the adrenaline back into your veins. Great fun. Nothing to do with feelings or a genuine interest in the other person.
soccerrprp Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 How many people here have had it or have had somebody else have it with them. I have had a few women get it with me and I will never date somebody like that because it has nothing to do with love and real feelings. It is pure ego. Some people just can't stand the fact that somebody doesn't want them so they make it their mission to conquer the other person. Once they can have it they don't want it anymore. If you really love somebody you don't stop when they love you back. This is why being a bad joy or man eater never really works in the long run. You just attract a lot of people with want what you can't have syndrome. I agree. It's likely an EGO thing.
juststarry6443 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I have witnessed the supreme power of want-what-you-cant-have syndrome. Not to long ago my cousin decided she wanted to "compete" against me for this guy I was talking to. He clearly explained to her how strong his feelings were for me but long story short I guess she felt like she had to prove something to him. I would never say that my cousin has a big ego but I guess that mission of conquering something that is nearly impossible or out of the ordinary appeals to some people.
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