krazikat Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 So I have to retract some thoughts I have shared on LS...it turns out, I may be dealing with a BB... I have to say I thought, even despite the lies, my h ow meant it when she apologized. Well, now I know that this is absolutely not the case. At. All. She called me today, very early in the morning, to tell me all kinds of messed up ish. Stuff that doesnt even make sense, like my h and her went on a grand vacation for 2 weeks together (wow, I guess I must have been sleeping the whole time to have never realized he didnt come home for 2 weeks!) And assorted other fairytales from bbow land. All along the same lines. She said she has proof, but wont send it to me because she "doesnt want to start drama" but just "thought i should know." Like I need proof of my husband being absent for 2 weeks, lol. I think his absence would kinda be the proof? but I will admit, I am quite interested in just what she would produce for said evidence. She also stated that my h brought her home and effed her in our home...but when I asked her what the house looked like she sorta gave away that she has never been inside...but bless her heart (sarcasm, there) for trying to describe it anyways, like tossing dice in the air and watching where they fall. Yeesh. Why even do that to yourself? 1
Athens Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Same thing here..nice and quiet for a while, then I guess when she realized it was really over the crazy started. It's like water torture, every day or so, a new intrusion. It's my belief it's designed to test my resolve so I am the one to leave and she can swoop in and pick up the pieces. Instead of feeling threatened, I decided to feel challenged. Challenged to outlast the crazy, challenged to take control of my life and decide if and when I have had enough. We thought maybe we would send a text that said...every time you contact us, we f!!k a little harder, crude I know but....in the end, we ignored for a while. I recently sent a simple text that said, please stop...only to be met with a ...I have no idea what you are talking about. So we will wait it out a little longer and hope she finds another MM to occupy her, until then, I know it's hard but try not to let her win by having this come between the two of you. My one resolve is my husband will never contact her, ever, she will never again have the thrill of seeing his number on her phone....see, I control how this story ends. Good luck! 5
freestyle Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 So I have to retract some thoughts I have shared on LS...it turns out, I may be dealing with a BB... I have to say I thought, even despite the lies, my h ow meant it when she apologized. Well, now I know that this is absolutely not the case. At. All. She called me today, very early in the morning, to tell me all kinds of messed up ish. Stuff that doesnt even make sense, like my h and her went on a grand vacation for 2 weeks together (wow, I guess I must have been sleeping the whole time to have never realized he didnt come home for 2 weeks!) And assorted other fairytales from bbow land. All along the same lines. She said she has proof, but wont send it to me because she "doesnt want to start drama" but just "thought i should know." Like I need proof of my husband being absent for 2 weeks, lol. I think his absence would kinda be the proof? but I will admit, I am quite interested in just what she would produce for said evidence. She also stated that my h brought her home and effed her in our home...but when I asked her what the house looked like she sorta gave away that she has never been inside...but bless her heart (sarcasm, there) for trying to describe it anyways, like tossing dice in the air and watching where they fall. Yeesh. Why even do that to yourself? Wow---that's really contemptible, and juvenile, on her part. Not to mention, rather disconcerting. Sounds like she's ramping up the drama. I would tell her (if she calls again) (and if you're willing to answer)that anything she says will be recorded for posterity......It doesn't exactly paint her in a flattering light. Maybe that will give her pause-- Has she been given a NC letter? Or verbal notification? If she continues to call & harass you, you may have grounds for a RO. 6
Author krazikat Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 Same thing here..nice and quiet for a while, then I guess when she realized it was really over the crazy started. It's like water torture, every day or so, a new intrusion. It's my belief it's designed to test my resolve so I am the one to leave and she can swoop in and pick up the pieces. Instead of feeling threatened, I decided to feel challenged. Challenged to outlast the crazy, challenged to take control of my life and decide if and when I have had enough. We thought maybe we would send a text that said...every time you contact us, we f!!k a little harder, crude I know but....in the end, we ignored for a while. I recently sent a simple text that said, please stop...only to be met with a ...I have no idea what you are talking about. So we will wait it out a little longer and hope she finds another MM to occupy her, until then, I know it's hard but try not to let her win by having this come between the two of you. My one resolve is my husband will never contact her, ever, she will never again have the thrill of seeing his number on her phone....see, I control how this story ends. Good luck! Lol, I am am sure that text would have made her head spin... Ya, we think she is doing this to try and get him to call her, his numbers were disconnected after dday...so any way she can get him to call her, even if he is pissed. When the call first came in, when I heard her voice I was like smh...I wont be answering a blocked call again, aint nobody got time for this! And good luck with your bb, too...maybe they get bored after a while? I dont get it! 3
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Wow---that's really contemptible, and juvenile, on her part. Not to mention, rather disconcerting. Sounds like she's ramping up the drama. I would tell her (if she calls again) (and if you're willing to answer)that anything she says will be recorded for posterity......It doesn't exactly paint her in a flattering light. Maybe that will give her pause-- Has she been given a NC letter? Or verbal notification? If she continues to call & harass you, you may have grounds for a RO. Verbal notification was given dday and then h disconnected his main phone and affair phone. She had called/texted hundreds of times after dday so he handed me the phones and said he needed a new number or she wouldnt stop... So I guess that leaves me! I am not at the point of changing my number yet, but if she keeps calling, I have no problem doing just that. We live far away from her now also, so if I have to cut that last tie, I will. And yes, super immature, middle schoolish. I understand she is hurt, but how cold to try and get me all worked up...again. I dont roll like that, and I generally try to see good in people...so i dont get it? 2
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Omg! As an fow I don't even know if its my place to say anythingm but from evything you've written I think you are an amazing rational caring and kind woman. I wonder if your pure existence is a total threat to this woman? (Other than factoring the wh and the a) has she decided to compete with you in her twisted land? Maybe it was a two week vacation to cuba or charlies chocolate factory in her drugged up mind, but in reality it was a dirty bathroom and lasted 5 minutes. Sorry I can't believe this. I often find people show part of their own intelligence by the lies they tell. People only tell lies, they themselves would believe. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hopefully, somewhere..you will find some comedy in it and be able to turn her bullshyte into a laugh.... Your input is totally welcome here...I do not mind at all...especially after those kind words;) you threw in...seriously tho, its all good and thanks for taking the time to answer! I started to get all stressed out and then mad and then... I caught myself...and yes, will admit to even a little laughter at that point because it is just so unreal! And I am going to go with the Chocolate Factory...chocolate sounds pretty good right now. 2
freestyle Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Based on the fact that NC was requested--and scoffed at-- I would absolutely tell her that anything she ever says to you again, will be put recorded, and distributed to everyone she knows. Family, co-workers, etc. Then they can hear how she brags about having slept with a married man to his wife... And put on Youtube, for good measure......... Maybe THAT will scare her off. 4
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that krazikat. I hope it ceases very soon. I think many times the anger at mm is transferred to the wife, unfairly. Also many times, the ow wants to strike out at mm but the wife is in the way so she gets the crap that is aimed for him, just because she in the way. I don't recall but did your husband tell her it was over and that he was committed to you? Thanks LG, and yes, he told her. He did say she didnt seem to get it even as he told her, and then the many many many calls and texts after, everything from begging him to call her to saying they would never be over led to him disconnecting his phones...and we now live far away. I do think it is her hurt and anger but I (naively I now realize) believed that when we talked weeks ago, when she apologized to me and all that, that at least our disrespect of each other was over... My husband has apologized to me several times today for it even going there, which I said yes, the A is your fault, but at this point the way she is acting is all on her...
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 OP, I hope you don't mind me telling this poster that her insight is welcomed... It sounds like she is desperate for any sort of attention, kind of like a small child, and like a small child, she doesn't care if it's good or bad attention...the thing that would have the biggest impact on her right now would be to not let her have that attention...if she calls back or emails, have a dated and pre recorded answer or pre written email that says you both no longer wish to hear from her, and any further attempts at contact will be ignored or brought to the attention of the police...if she calls pick up and play the recording(or send the email if that's the form of contact) . Don't say anything angry or hurt, just a straightforward statement of your desire to be left alone and the consequences should she ignore your request... Hope this works for you Thats a good suggestion. I am going to try to just ignore any future calls, but if she doesnt throw in the towel, I will definately do that....although it is tempting to record her spinning her stories...hmmm, maybe both? I hope she just never calls again...but I will not hold my breath!
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Based on the fact that NC was requested--and scoffed at-- I would absolutely tell her that anything she ever says to you again, will be put recorded, and distributed to everyone she knows. Family, co-workers, etc. Then they can hear how she brags about having slept with a married man to his wife... And put on Youtube, for good measure......... Maybe THAT will scare her off. Oh, if only I had recorded her after dday asking me if I liked the taste of her p****? Okay, maybe it wasnt the chocolate factory, maybe it was cuba...lol, cigars yes, thats a clinton joke, couldnt help myself. 1
lilmisscantbewrong Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 She's hurting but this is ridiculous, please take care of yourself and be on guard. This is unfortunately the horrible result from a relationship like this. I am certain your husband must be kicking himself - please be careful! 1
who_am_i Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So I have to retract some thoughts I have shared on LS...it turns out, I may be dealing with a BB... I have to say I thought, even despite the lies, my h ow meant it when she apologized. Well, now I know that this is absolutely not the case. At. All. She called me today, very early in the morning, to tell me all kinds of messed up ish. Stuff that doesnt even make sense, like my h and her went on a grand vacation for 2 weeks together (wow, I guess I must have been sleeping the whole time to have never realized he didnt come home for 2 weeks!) And assorted other fairytales from bbow land. All along the same lines. She said she has proof, but wont send it to me because she "doesnt want to start drama" but just "thought i should know." Like I need proof of my husband being absent for 2 weeks, lol. I think his absence would kinda be the proof? but I will admit, I am quite interested in just what she would produce for said evidence. She also stated that my h brought her home and effed her in our home...but when I asked her what the house looked like she sorta gave away that she has never been inside...but bless her heart (sarcasm, there) for trying to describe it anyways, like tossing dice in the air and watching where they fall. Yeesh. Why even do that to yourself? Wasn't it just yesterday that you were saying she seemed so remorseful to the point you almost felt bad for her? These are the OW that really piss me off. She's over there acting crazy while some of us are sick over the whole situation. 1
Eggplant Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 You have no civil obligation to engage in any communication with her. Don't speak or listen to her words -- that's for people you have business with or respect for. 5
whichwayisup Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 So I have to retract some thoughts I have shared on LS...it turns out, I may be dealing with a BB... I have to say I thought, even despite the lies, my h ow meant it when she apologized. Well, now I know that this is absolutely not the case. At. All. She called me today, very early in the morning, to tell me all kinds of messed up ish. Stuff that doesnt even make sense, like my h and her went on a grand vacation for 2 weeks together (wow, I guess I must have been sleeping the whole time to have never realized he didnt come home for 2 weeks!) And assorted other fairytales from bbow land. All along the same lines. She said she has proof, but wont send it to me because she "doesnt want to start drama" but just "thought i should know." Like I need proof of my husband being absent for 2 weeks, lol. I think his absence would kinda be the proof? but I will admit, I am quite interested in just what she would produce for said evidence. She also stated that my h brought her home and effed her in our home...but when I asked her what the house looked like she sorta gave away that she has never been inside...but bless her heart (sarcasm, there) for trying to describe it anyways, like tossing dice in the air and watching where they fall. Yeesh. Why even do that to yourself? Sounds like she has issues and is having trouble letting go, is trying to put a wedge between you and your H, hoping you'll get upset and angry enough, kick him out so she can have him all for herself. Ask her to please leave you alone and that you have no interest in anything she has to say. That both you and your H have moved on from the A and she needs to stop obsessing and calling you about stuff that you don't care about anymore. Is she married? have a boyfriend? If yes, then tell him. And offer that maybe counseling could be helpful for her. 2
whichwayisup Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Oh, if only I had recorded her after dday asking me if I liked the taste of her p****? Okay, maybe it wasnt the chocolate factory, maybe it was cuba...lol, cigars yes, thats a clinton joke, couldnt help myself. She said that? Ewwwwwwwwww. how f'ed up is that to say! And to the 2nd part of your post! 3
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Wasn't it just yesterday that you were saying she seemed so remorseful to the point you almost felt bad for her? These are the OW that really piss me off. She's over there acting crazy while some of us are sick over the whole situation. Yes!!! I have definately felt bad for her that she was in pain, I mean, she cried to me last time I spoke with her, apologized to me, said she felt so stupid because she had known he was married, etc., I thought that was that, she knew he wasnt leaving and that was the last time we spoke...and then BAM! Out of no where she calls spinning these tales, waking me up and starting my day with a bang. I was actually believing her at first, until she got carried away with the details, and I realized it didnt make any sense at all. I was pissed at first, but then had to laugh that she almost got me back to square one with just that one call. I will not let that happen! My husband chose to stay, he could have left, heck, I wanted him to at first...he didnt want to go. I believe that she is trying to get him to call her. When I think now on our last convo from weeks ago, she did say other lies, I think she was trying to see if that would make him call her...she told me she had been pregnant but got an abortion right before we had talked because she knew he wasnt coming back to her...but I know for fact that he had already broke off with her prior to dday from text messages...and no pregnancy was ever mentioned. So I just added it to the lie list. She told me my h knew, but had already said they hadnt talked...just a bunch of contradicting things she said, and no baby, no proof, so I didnt pay much thought to it. But I think she was trying to bait him into calling her then...and when weeks went by and no contact, she calls with this crap to get things riled up again, maybe get a call from him. Even what she said today doesnt support her prior claim of having an abortion. Its like she forgot she even told me that???? We live far enough away and she has no idea how to find us...I am not worried about my families safety, but man, this chick is something else. My husband is feeling like he didnt know her at all, and he feels terrible about this, as he should. But I think I can safely say sympathy for this girl has changed to pity.
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 She said that? Ewwwwwwwwww. how f'ed up is that to say! And to the 2nd part of your post! Oh, I am guessing it is stripper talk? None of the ladies with class I know would ever say that! EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!x10
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 I still to this day get freaked out when a strange number shows up on my phone. I am so sorry to hear that (((hugs))) Affairs are so toxic, and being betrayed in this very personal way sucks. As I have said before, I hate what cheaters do...there are very real and very long lasting issues for all involved. 2
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Sounds like she has issues and is having trouble letting go, is trying to put a wedge between you and your H, hoping you'll get upset and angry enough, kick him out so she can have him all for herself. Ask her to please leave you alone and that you have no interest in anything she has to say. That both you and your H have moved on from the A and she needs to stop obsessing and calling you about stuff that you don't care about anymore. Is she married? have a boyfriend? If yes, then tell him. And offer that maybe counseling could be helpful for her. According to the texts i read, he was her life? her words "you were my life, i wanted you heart mind and body. Everything in my world was you. I never should have chased what was already gone..." No h, no boyfriend...just my h. Nice, eh? So I guess now that dday happened, when all has been said and all has been done, she knows its over. I know she loved him, so I know she is hurting. I suggested before that she find someone to talk too, but not me. Lol.
waterwoman Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Sorry to hear this. Must be horrible. But it's all such a mess isn't it this infidelity business
Author krazikat Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Sorry to hear this. Must be horrible. But it's all such a mess isn't it this infidelity business Yes, it is a horrible mess...I will never do this to another person. I have never been as devastated as I was when I found out about the affair...i was so hurt and so pissed I could barely hold in my anger. If she had been standing right in front of me saying the things she said, I may have lost it and ended up in jail. I was shocked at the level of hurt and anger I felt. I am not a violent person, but I am independent and strong willed. Also carry myself a certain way...professional yet blunt. The fact that I was reduced to flipping out name calling madness frustrated me...yet I was able to let go. This girl effing my husband got a pass, and she still wants to get me down to her level. She gets an A for effort, but an F in integrity. I never want to make another person go thru this drama. Now when I think of it all, I am just sad, sad that he cheated, sad that I had pushed him away, and I was sad for her...I kinda still am but more pity then anything. But surprisingly, still amused at her description of my house!!!!
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