Ayeo Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 6 months no contact. She contacts me asking if I want holiday photos. Texts, back and forth, her ending up berating me for what happened at the end...I was very ill and screwed up. I apologize, she says she misses me, then the texts stop!! I still love her, but am still recovering and trying to get back on my feet, scared to reach out and just tell her I want her back, for fear of rejection. Why do you think she broke NC? I really don't understand why she did this.
seriously-let-down Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Feeling for you, I'm going through a very similar thing.
cdt76 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I think it happens because there were real feelings there. When time goes by maybe she felt that you could handle a conversation about the situation as it was left. I don't know why but more often then not, they contact you. Don't fear rejection. Only fear regret. If you have something you think you need to say, get it out. Tell her. Put it all on the table. Have you changed? Have you become a better you? Has she? Is she willing to work on the issues you had? If not, you got it out there and she made the choice and you can move on. Just my simple inexperienced opinion.
Blastoplast Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Dumpers and dumpees can both have moments of weakness. Probably still some feelings there. Make no mistake, if you're looking for a 2nd chance make sure that you're BOTH ready otherwise you're setting yourself up for infinite more heartbreak.
Author Ayeo Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 Having had a year of serious illness, hitting major low depths, then her leaving and citing I had gigs, as much as I love her and miss her, I don't know if I could forgive her deserting me. Trouble is she still thinks she's been the victim in all of this. I apologized and admitted my wrongdoings, but stated I was in no fit state, mentally or physically to deal with things. I'm a coward, I can't tell her I want her back, for fear of rejection, maybe she did just want to have a go at me and make me feel ****, it worked.
Am4Real Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Of course you know why she contacted you -- Holiday photos -- come on now!!! She wanted to know if you would abide by strict NC and what did you do? You answered a question about Holiday photos. Like really, those photos are that important to you that you did not ask for them six months ago. You can't come on here and ask why she got in touch with you if you want to know what's in her mind. We don't know her! All we can tell you is the line of photos is as "fishy" as dead tuna on the dock for a week. As for facing rejection, you already did when you answered the text and fell into the LC trap. Either don't answer her communications or ask her directly if she wants you back and then when she tells you no, which she will, you can come back on here and tell us how devastated you are. Or you can avoid all of that heart break and never answer her again until the next text reads "I made a mistake honey and I want you back". However, since Tara is going to trump my post in about 40 seconds with guidance on how you need to change your number, I'd say go with her advice and get on with your life and healing. Sorry to be harsh with you, but it looks like you are setting yourself up for a fall in this back and forth volley of communications on the next round. 1
Author Ayeo Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 Thanks for the words Am4real, you're making sense. She text again, 6 days later, silly sod, saying she didn't leave me, I left her, whatever. I replied saying, unlike her I'm not going to point fingers 6 months down the line and for her to take care. That's the end as far as I'm concerned, she wanted to have a go, she had a go, she wanted me to fall at her feet begging for forgiveness, it isn't going to happen, not a chance, she deserted me so she can swim in her misguided anger. I will never understand women.
Am4Real Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 And they don't understand us. A match made in heaven!! I will never understand women.
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