DelusionalOne Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I keep reading out here about multiple D-Days and NC start-overs. OMG, how do you do it? You must be made of steel! I walked away from my EA 2X before D-day and it stung and each time xMM was contacting me within 24 hours…. Within a couple of weeks we were back were we started. This time…. After D-Day… holy S#@!... there is no freaking way I’m breaking NC! This one… hurt like bloody hell. The thought of another D-Day or even worse……that dreaded “NC Letter” I definitely don’t need that kind of rejection over and over. I don’t care how many stars I had in my eyes, IMO, no one is worth that kind of pain over and over. Trust me… I get it. It’s like when they contact you it is validation that they DID actually care about you, that they MUST love and miss you. Maybe it’s a pride thing, I don’t think I would want to deal with the humiliation of contacting him and getting a “NC letter/text/response” from him or the pain of another D-Day rejection text/IM/Letter. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt that I’ve gotten a few insignificant “breadcrumbs” over the last 10 weeks (I’ve ignored them all). I try not to dwell on that… if I do, then my mind goes other places, making assumptions and I am just torturing myself. I just want to get over this, put it behind and look back and say “THAT’S a landmine I never want to walk over ever again!” Then, I am thankful that he is leaving me alone. (Yes, it does stab me in the heart knowing I will never see/talk to him again). Time is supposed to be the great healer. I guess I don’t want to wish away my life getting to the other side of this. Thanks for listening to me ramble.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I hear what you are saying...For all you know, he can be happy that its over, or absolutely miserable that you are out of his life, and is in unbelievable emotional turmoil....Or any scenario in between... From my experience, NC is kinda a double edged sword. Its necessary, but it really would be nice to know whats going on...So you wind up just twisting in the wind...Its miserable, frankly. Be well.... TFOY 1
canuckprincess Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I keep reading out here about multiple D-Days and NC start-overs. OMG, how do you do it? You must be made of steel! I walked away from my EA 2X before D-day and it stung and each time xMM was contacting me within 24 hours…. Within a couple of weeks we were back were we started. This time…. After D-Day… holy S#@!... there is no freaking way I’m breaking NC! This one… hurt like bloody hell. The thought of another D-Day or even worse……that dreaded “NC Letter” I definitely don’t need that kind of rejection over and over. I don’t care how many stars I had in my eyes, IMO, no one is worth that kind of pain over and over. Trust me… I get it. It’s like when they contact you it is validation that they DID actually care about you, that they MUST love and miss you. Maybe it’s a pride thing, I don’t think I would want to deal with the humiliation of contacting him and getting a “NC letter/text/response” from him or the pain of another D-Day rejection text/IM/Letter. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt that I’ve gotten a few insignificant “breadcrumbs” over the last 10 weeks (I’ve ignored them all). I try not to dwell on that… if I do, then my mind goes other places, making assumptions and I am just torturing myself. I just want to get over this, put it behind and look back and say “THAT’S a landmine I never want to walk over ever again!” Then, I am thankful that he is leaving me alone. (Yes, it does stab me in the heart knowing I will never see/talk to him again). Time is supposed to be the great healer. I guess I don’t want to wish away my life getting to the other side of this. Thanks for listening to me ramble. I believe every dday is different. Just like every relationship is different. For example a ONS or short term PA/EA dday would be nothing compared to a 10 year PA/EA extra marital relationship. Some ddays are just like any other day, no break up or NC letter nothing but empty promises to save ones A$$. Empty broken promises to the AP and the BS, it doesn't make the cheater a bad person it could be their in love with more then one person. I know some people don't think it's right to love more then one person but it does happen and the WS doesn't want to lose either so they try to keep things going for as long as possible. In order to carry out such a task it requires a lot of lying mostly through omission. Before any BS's attack me please remember this is the OW/OM support forum. 5
ComingInHot Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Canuck & Delusional, I think "empty promises" and "continuous BullSh*t lying" stand out to me. And for what it's worth, this post shows a view I haven't really looked at closely yet, so thank you. I mean, I have figured out the hurt is just as real for OW as it is for me, the BW. I'm not saying it's equal but it IS real. It turns my stomach when I think about the empty broken promises the fell from my H's lips to the exOW. I mean, I'm happy he didn't mean them BUT he SAID them! My H, who always boasted he was a man of integrity & honor, forth right & honest, gave out empty broken promises to exOW AND me during his A. I'm proud of you Delusional! You are standing up and saying No More! Let him figure out the mess he created (w/your help) while you move forward making healtjier choices for you* 1
White Flower Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I keep reading out here about multiple D-Days and NC start-overs. OMG, how do you do it? You must be made of steel! Yep. Definitely after nearly 20 Ddays. The thought of another D-Day or even worse……that dreaded “NC Letter” I definitely don’t need that kind of rejection over and over. I don’t care how many stars I had in my eyes, IMO, no one is worth that kind of pain over and over. Did you really see a NC letter as a form of rejection? I never got a letter but I got a call in front of BW. I knew she was standing there because I could hear the bullets he was sweating hit the floor. I asked if I was on speaker phone, then told BW I hoped she was enjoying the show because that's all it was and I knew it. xMM's IC agreed with me later and said that was an extremely immature move, trying to use xMM's anxiety against him and to gang up on me. He was forgetting the fact that I'm smarter than the two of them put together. No really, I am. Again, his anxiety. Trust me… I get it. It’s like when they contact you it is validation that they DID actually care about you, that they MUST love and miss you. I never needed validation from him. It was more of an apology for being an ass and obeying his mommy. His words. Maybe it’s a pride thing, I don’t think I would want to deal with the humiliation of contacting him and getting a “NC letter/text/response” from him or the pain of another D-Day rejection text/IM/Letter. She won't have him call me anymore because she knows I'm a step ahead of them. She knows that no matter what she can convince him to do, it is too immature for a smart woman like me not to see through it. She no longer asks him to dispose of his secret phones when she finds them now, she has just accepted that he will always want me. Funny thing though, I no longer want him.
Recommended Posts