Eternal Sunshine Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 At least. I am kinda scared that I will know within few minutes that I am not into him and will have to force the rest. I saw this guy on OKC last week and messaged him first. He responded and appeared very interested. We talked about our favorite activities and kind of made plans to do something (like 2 activities in a row). I didn't really expect him to book it, I thought we were just chatting. But the next day he comes back to me that he has booked both and payed already. So I just have to go through with it, I guess. Any crafty ideas of how to turn this into 1 hour meet and greet? Or would you just go? :/
KungFuJoe Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Wow...you sound awfully excited! (sarcasm intended) Why are you dating again? I'm confused....
carhill Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Since you appear to have selected two activities you both enjoy for the date, my opinion is to balance the 'get to know' with inherent enjoyment of the activities and see where it goes. If somewhere, that; if nowhere, that. Regardless, if you both truly enjoy the activity, then it will be a positive outcome. 5
CarrieT Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Yikes. I'm speechless and am not even sure what to say... 1
sillyanswer Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Any crafty ideas of how to turn this into 1 hour meet and greet? Not a crafty idea, but how about "That's too much for a first date." 1
CarrieT Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Not a crafty idea, but how about "That's too much for a first date." That's a great idea. Tell him you appreciate the generous offer, but want to scale it back at first... 1
curlygirl40 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I would go and view it as an opportunity to meet a new friend and to do something I enjoy doing (assuming here?). I'm like you where usually I can tell immediately if I'm into him or not and that can drag out a date for sure if there's nothing there. However, unless the guy is obnoxious and rude or all over you, I'm sure you can just have a good time and worry about if there's a connection later. It's not an ideal situation but I'm sure you can make the best of it. Have fun!! 3
curlygirl40 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 That's a great idea. Tell him you appreciate the generous offer, but want to scale it back at first... I think it's a great idea also but once he's already paid for the activities, I know I personally would have a hard time doing this. Sticky situation!!
carhill Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Additionally, as it appears that you 'saw' the man on OKC and messaged him first, indicating proactive interest in his profile and, later, activities you discussed with him personally, then 'kind of made plans' to do them, all of this information appears to point towards wanting to meet him and see where it goes, hence my advice. You can decline at any time without prejudice, although I'm unclear about what is impelling this chain of thought on an interaction which you apparently proactively chose to pursue. Could you clarify? 2
curlygirl40 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Or maybe this.... When is this long date supposed to be? Any time before that long date that you could squeeze in a coffee date or something? Then if you're not into him you could tell him as such and he could bring a friend to the other things he bought tickets for? I did that once when a guy asked me to dinner and a comedy show at a local casino. We met for a drink then after he asked me if I was still up to the weekend date and I said yes. 1
Treasa Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Yikes. I'm speechless and am not even sure what to say... Same here. I'm pretty sure I'd be running in the other direction. Too strong, too soon.
Els Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Oh, ES. How do you 'kinda make plans' to do something but then expect him not to do it? Honestly, since you had a part in this miscommunication (as opposed to him just doing it out of the blue, which would be creepy), I think you should just go and give it a shot. He's clearly very much into you to be willing to invest that much on a first date, and I would not take something like that for granted. If, on the date, you really feel creeped out by his RL behaviour, then just apologize and insist on paying him back for the activities, then go on your way. If you're just meh about him but he seems like an okay guy, I think you should stay and just have some fun. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 What are the activities? deep sea fishing and underwater snorkeling? (I've tried over-water snorkeling and it was horrible......not) 1
Object_a Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 This sounds like such a terrible idea. The pre-date coffee date thing exists for a reason. If you meet someone and know right off that you won't be interested in them romantically it's easy to be polite and chit-chat for half an hour. I just hope it works out okay for you!
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 Thanks guys, I think I will just suck it up and go. Its too late to really do anything else. And for those that ask, I messsged him because he looked hot, why else 1
curlygirl40 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Well then....let's go with it. He's going to be hot in person also and you're going to have a great time and be so grateful that you had that much time together. :-) Positive vibes!! 2
sillyanswer Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 And for those that ask, I messsged him because he looked hot, why else And he wants to spend all day with you because you look hot. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 And he wants to spend all day with you because you look hot. flattery will get you EVERYWHERE 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 If he's paying, and its stuff you really like doing, you can always just ignore him and enjoy what you're doing. That being said, anything beyond meeting a drink and sitting at the table closest to the door is a bit much for a first time meeting. Sounds like this guy is getting his dating adcice from Travel magazine. I am gonna try to think more like you Bob
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 6 hours! Poor guy I hate you :mad:
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 So this went quite badly :S When he arrived, I could see that was very good looking. Probably 7-8 out of 10. But for some reason when he started talking, I disliked his voice, his accent and mannerisms. He was kind of too feminine for me. I wasn't attracted to him at all. He talked a lot, he didn't stop. After a while it started to annoy me. I completely disagreed with everything he said and when I said so, he backed down and apologized. I ended up just tuning out... About an hour in, he tried to hold my hand. Even though I was giving off many not interested signals. I pulled my hand away and told him that "it's too soon". Dead silence descended. We walked some more. I attempted small talk. He was still silent. When I looked up at him, he looked like he was about to cry. Sh it. Suddenly he started telling me about his ex who apparently dumped him only 3 weeks ago. He went on and on. When the first event ended I told him it's best if we call it a day. I gave him the money for my half. Awkward hug and we parted. Seriously, I have well and truly had enough of OLD. 1
Star Gazer Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Uggggh. I hate this sort of OLD... being stuck there, the awkwardness, the whole deal. I feel for you. I'm assuming this wasn't the anal sex guy?
outsidethebox Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Lot easier to find that stuff out over a cup of coffee.
leftfordead2 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 So this went quite badly :S When he arrived, I could see that was very good looking. Probably 7-8 out of 10. But for some reason when he started talking, I disliked his voice, his accent and mannerisms. He was kind of too feminine for me. I wasn't attracted to him at all. He talked a lot, he didn't stop. After a while it started to annoy me. I completely disagreed with everything he said and when I said so, he backed down and apologized. I ended up just tuning out... About an hour in, he tried to hold my hand. Even though I was giving off many not interested signals. I pulled my hand away and told him that "it's too soon". Dead silence descended. We walked some more. I attempted small talk. He was still silent. When I looked up at him, he looked like he was about to cry. Sh it. Suddenly he started telling me about his ex who apparently dumped him only 3 weeks ago. He went on and on. When the first event ended I told him it's best if we call it a day. I gave him the money for my half. Awkward hug and we parted. Seriously, I have well and truly had enough of OLD. Wow, this guy sounds weird... 1
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