TaylorBe Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I just have my first phone conversation with my ex today. After 6 weeks NC (4 weeks NC ,one email than 2 weeks NC) I was finally able to tell him how much he hurt me in a way that I didn’t sound crazy or illogical. Once he began to understand he started to feel bad for the decisions he made and this made me happy that he was now sad and I wasn’t. Then we did a check in and I asked him how he was doing with his 5 point plan (the reason we couldn’t be in a relationship) and he told me he wasn’t doing well. Then he asked me how I was doing with dating. I told him I was taking a break from dating to work on myself using his 5 point plan as inspiration. In six weeks I’ve made a complete transformation (mind, body and soul). When I shared this with him he felt so unaccomplished and asked if I would help him get back on track…I responded very nonchalantly No! This made me feel so powerful to see that he hasn’t accomplished anything except banging random chicks since we split…that I was doing all the things he wanted to do. And to put the icing on the cake he told me his job was relocating him to Alabama and I got so excited and when he asked me why I told him “Now I have to worry about ever see you again” Again he was sad and even asked me “Was I really that horrible to you?” It felt so good to hear him realize that I’m better off without him and that I wasn’t letting our experience ruin my life…But although I felt good I also felt a little guilty about basking in his pain . 1. Am I a horrible person for being happy that he's now hurting? is this healthy? 2. What stage of the healing process is this? receiving pleasure from his pain that is.
OwlSoul Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 1. Am I a horrible person for being happy that he's now hurting? is this healthy? 2. What stage of the healing process is this? receiving pleasure from his pain that is. You're not hurting him by actions, so it's natural. Every time I see one of my exes posting something my mind shouts 'DIE DIE DIE DIE'. Looks like closer to the last one.
Author TaylorBe Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 You're not hurting him by actions, so it's natural. Every time I see one of my exes posting something my mind shouts 'DIE DIE DIE DIE'. Looks like closer to the last one. I think I am...Once he told me he wasn’t accomplishing his goals I used that opportunity to tell him how much I've accomplished just to rub it in. I'm actually still in contact with him via text telling him more good things about me and things I plan on working on to make myself better...Although its all true I'm only doing it cause I know its hurting him but hes hurt me so bad I shouldn’t care...I don’t want to be vindictive but its bringing me joy and I haven’t had this in a while it’s like a sick twisted addiction...I want to stop but I cant
destroyed4sho Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 he knows what u doing....it may be making him think u were really hurt and pathetic
destroyed4sho Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 stay NC...I wouldnt continue this ego game. you may not win and may get hurt.
Author TaylorBe Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 he knows what u doing....it may be making him think u were really hurt and pathetic Actually he doesnt think I'm pathetic he just told me that he feels like a horrible person cause he had no idea how much his actions were hurting me... I ended things with him because he wanted me to wait around until he was ready to settle down. When he called me he was trying to get back to us working towards a relationship but once I told him how much he hurt me and that I was focusing on improving myself for the next guy thats when I notice his tone change and reality/sadness kicked in. and thats the energy I began to feed off of. Then I felt bad made this post and decided to just tell him the truth...I told him I was being selfish and using his weakness as a stepping stone to get over him 150%...He understands and still wants to try a friendship but I declined. I think he has realized that I truly am a great catch the only problem I'm not his great catch. Although he hasnt told me; theres somthing about me that made him not want to committ 6 weeks ago and because of all the work I've done I may have that somthing now but I cant give him a second chance to hurt me
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