starla33 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I had a first date from online this past weekend. It was a quick coffee date in the afternoon. The guy decided that we should sit outside so he wore his sunglasses pretty much the entire time. It was next to impossible to connect with someone this way with 0 eye contact. I bet he wonders why he is not making a connection....well dude there it is 1
SmileFace Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 If you had a connection eye contact wouldn't stop that. I mean the sunglasses were not a sheild on your connection. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 If you had a connection eye contact wouldn't stop that. I mean the sunglasses were not a sheild on your connection. I never get a connection within an hour especially when someone is wearing pitch black sunglasses...it's rude
Author starla33 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 Afternoon coffee dates are lame to begin with. Its such an unsexy thing to do with someone. When I did OLD, my first dates were always drinks in a bar/restaurant AT NIGHT. Coffee/lunch dates are about as sexy/fun as doing laundry. The sunglass thing is kinda rude, but I tend to wear mine all the time b/c my eyes are so sensitive to sun. How was he aside from the sungless thing? He was fine and I would probably go out with him again if he asked, but he wont. He didn't seem very interested and you are right I have WAY better luck with night time dates.
BluEyeL Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Well, the sexiest date I've been on with the only guy I really really liked so far (but didn't work out), we were driving out of town and we were both wearing sun glasses, but we each kept taking them off to look into each other's eyes while talking, then back on to look at the road. I agree that wearing sunglasses would be a problem. Your date could have taken his off even every now and then.
Estate Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I agree with Starla, it was just rude and yes, eye contact is a big thing. He made a bad move here and was probably just trying to be cool.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I never get a connection within an hour especially when someone is wearing pitch black sunglasses...it's rude Sounds like you should decline coffee dates in the future. They don't work for you, so are a waste of time. I agree, it's rude too leave your sunglasses...pitch black sunglasses no less...on for an entire date. Did he at least take them off when he greeted you? Maybe he was hiding a glass eye. Anyway, on to the next...
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Afternoon coffee dates are lame to begin with. Its such an unsexy thing to do with someone. When I did OLD, my first dates were always drinks in a bar/restaurant AT NIGHT. Coffee/lunch dates are about as sexy/fun as doing laundry. The sunglass thing is kinda rude, but I tend to wear mine all the time b/c my eyes are so sensitive to sun. How was he aside from the sungless thing? That's just because people look better at night and in low light situations Not sure how much I'd recommend a nighttime first date from online-dating, but whatever. Since when were bars considered "sexy"? You sound strange to me O.o
rocketman122 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I had a first date from online this past weekend. It was a quick coffee date in the afternoon. The guy decided that we should sit outside so he wore his sunglasses pretty much the entire time. It was next to impossible to connect with someone this way with 0 eye contact. I bet he wonders why he is not making a connection....well dude there it is you can learn a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. you can see if theyre honest or if their deceiving. I watch the eyes when they tell me certain details about themselves. its rude to have sunglasses on. I want to look into my dates eyes and connect. I guess it was better this way. also when he had his sunglasses on you wouldnt know if he was checking other girls out which would give a hint about him;)
Imported Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Why does it have to be night time to have drinks? There are a **** ton of wine bars, chic little restaurants around where I live that can be walked to...from my place No, I am not trying to get a girl drunk and in fact if she seems ....tipsy....nothing happens. I just make sure she gets back home safe. However, a nice happy buzz where her and I are still thinking fully and won't regret decisions is a good thing. I like taking a girl to a nice small restaurant in the day time and just getting a pitcher of sangria and an appetizer. Really difficult to get drunk over sangria, but pretty easy to be happy while you drink it and talk.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Can't speak for others, but I stopped suggesting a daytime date as a first date alternative when I couldn't schedule a night time date. My rationale: I was just never in the right frame of mind to connect romantically. I invariably ended up viewing the guy as a friend. Can't think of a single one that led to a second date, let alone a relationship. So countering with say a lunch option meant I was for all intents and purposes relegating the guy to friend or acquaintance before we even went on the date itself. That was a disservice to him. He deserved a fair shot at being seriously considered if I said yes. He wasn't hoping for a new friend. Talking anecdotally with other women, it seems to be a pretty common phenomenon. Maybe that's why night time dates are so popular as the go-to suggestion, and why guys pick certain types of dates when they really want to make the best of it. Who knows? 2
StanMusial Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 He was hiding a black eye that his old lady gave him when she found out he was on an OLD site.
Author starla33 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 He was hiding a black eye that his old lady gave him when she found out he was on an OLD site. He did take them off when we were inside for 5min, but that was it
Sivok Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Afternoon coffee dates are lame to begin with. Its such an unsexy thing to do with someone. When I did OLD, my first dates were always drinks in a bar/restaurant AT NIGHT. Coffee/lunch dates are about as sexy/fun as doing laundry. I got a girl back to my place after an 'unsexy' coffee date before. Completely disagree here. The best precursor to a 'sexy' time is feeling comfortable with the person. Coffee dates take a lot of that pressure off and generally lowers each person's guard. If it goes well I usually transition the date to something else, and that spontaneity generates sexiness. We walked by my place, I suggested we check it out (super casually, again it's a casual date so guards are down), went upstairs, gave her a tour, took out the wine, one thing lead to the next.
RachR Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I really dislike when someone engages in more than a couple of sentences with me while wearing dark lenses, unless I'm wearing them too. It's weird not being able to see their eyes at all.
callingyouuu Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Can't speak for others, but I stopped suggesting a daytime date as a first date alternative when I couldn't schedule a night time date. My rationale: I was just never in the right frame of mind to connect romantically. I invariably ended up viewing the guy as a friend. Can't think of a single one that led to a second date, let alone a relationship. So countering with say a lunch option meant I was for all intents and purposes relegating the guy to friend or acquaintance before we even went on the date itself. That was a disservice to him. He deserved a fair shot at being seriously considered if I said yes. He wasn't hoping for a new friend. Talking anecdotally with other women, it seems to be a pretty common phenomenon. Maybe that's why night time dates are so popular as the go-to suggestion, and why guys pick certain types of dates when they really want to make the best of it. Who knows? Interesting. As a guy, I can't say I ever realized this. Will keep this in mind. Also, ditto to everyone else on the sunglasses thing. Mutual eye contact is really important to me, and not having it would kill a date for me, as well.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Another poster in this thread compared it to doing laundry. Peruse female viewpoints on other threads where this comes up. It's a common sentiment. No doubt as with anything else there will be exceptions.
Lani Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 Was it sunny? Because really, if it is, and you sit outside, wearing sunglasses isn't unreasonable at all. I always wear mine when I'm outside, date or not. Like SmileFace said, if there is a connection there is a connection, sunglasses or otherwise.
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