ps123 Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 Is it possible to be too nice in a relationship? Im a pretty nice guy in general and Ive been told that sometimes women dont want nice guys. Im definitely not a pushover and not spineless, but I do genuinely care about other people and try to do nice things for the woman Im dating and other people. The woman Ive been dating is having some family issues. Her mom is sick and having some tests done and it might end up being pretty serious. Ive been trying to be supportive and have been telling her if theres anything she needs me to do to just ask, but shes not really the type to share if shes hurting. I guess Im just worried that Im being too nice to the point that it doesnt seem genuine, and Im worried that she'll think Im boring cause Im overly nice to her. Again, I will say that I stand up for myself when I need to and shes even said that she can tell I can be tough in situations when I want to, but Im still worried that being overly nice is a bad thing. Shes used to dating guys who are more on the mean side so I think she might be having a hard time getting used to me and I think shes still skeptical that Im going to have my bad side come out at some point. Any comments or suggestions? Am I worrying about nothign? I tend to do that sometimes
moimeme Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 The opinion that counts is hers. she can tell I can be tough in situations when I want to, Then she has the right impression. Look, she's not with the not-nice guys, is she? Maybe that's because she realized that nice guys are the bomb Be who you are.
snilljente Posted September 17, 2004 Posted September 17, 2004 I agree that you should be yourself....I have been with "nice" guys and A%^&oles... and definitely can say that I appreciate a nice guy and that none of my relationship ever ended because someone was TOO nice....One thing...telling someone that if they need somethihng just to ask...well, alot of people don't feel comfortable ASKING...when they really need it....I think it is better to just do stuff to support her and help her out without her having to ask....just a thought...
Author ps123 Posted September 18, 2004 Author Posted September 18, 2004 Cool. Thanks for the replies. That helps a lot, and the advice about just doing things is good too. Ill keep that one in mind cause she doesnt seem like the type to ask for help.
red-rose-in-winter Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 I'll keep it short and sweet....... You can never be TOO NICE!!! You get what you give. If you are cruel and mean to other people, it will come back on you 100+ times worse. But if you are kind and nice to people, you will get it returned to you 100+ times over. Don't ever change who you are.
snilljente Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 I totally agree that you give what you get......something like Kharma....I do think that what does around comes around and that you can never be too nice if you are genuine in your actions....If she isn't interested in a nice guy, then time will tell, but you don't want to be someone you're not just to "win her over"...be yourself....Good luck!
Scangie Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 I just posted something similar in another thread, but I think that, to some guys, there seems to be a fine line between what they consider "nice" behavior, and behavior that demonstrates a lack of self-confidence. If you are constantly waiting on her to give the cues in the relationship, you might think you are being nice and letting her set the pace, but in reality, she is probably going to perceive that as wimpy and look for someone who has their stuff together. By all means, be nice! Everyone appreciates kindness. Just be sure that what you are calling nice is not a mask for insecure behavior.
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