topdeck1 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I have been dating this girl for over just over a month now. We met through friends and she contacted me via facebook, exchanged numbers and we started talking. Went out a few nights later with her friends for some drinks and stayed with her without any hooking up. Waited to see if she was interested and she was. Chase was on, back and fourth always texting everyday, a few 3hour phone calls. We seemed to have a lot in common, so after a week or so of not seeing her I ask her out on our first date without being too serious Things went great and everything continues smoothly. She says she never felt like this so quickly before. I see her a few nights later for a few drinks out, she ends up coming back to mine which was preplanned and we end up hooking up. From then on she spends most of her free time with me, drives 30mins to see me and stays over a few nights a week and most of the weekend. This happens for 2 or so weeks so I decide to ask her out. She says yes. After 2 weeks of dating she starts slowing down, replies are shorter and shorter, and blunt discussions. I think not much over and speak to her about the relationship and then we find out we have a few differences when it comes to the relationship. She becomes more distant and seems to ignore my texts but still replies and comes to see me. Shes not a very affectionate person, she tells me shes still getting her life back from her ex relationship which she really only got of at the start of the year. She explains she needs her time and she hates titles. I tried to hang with her on the weekend but shes just kept saying shes too busy, I ask whats up and she just says she scared, I question her if she wants to continue and still likes me and its always yes. I dont understand if this is a game or she really likes me but just doesn't want to become serious, give her life away and get hurt.
tricolors Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 It might be a case of too much too fast. You said she was spending all of her free time with you. I know this is bad, because I've done it before when I was younger. That's not a good thing. Staying over many days a week and most of the weekend? You both need to be doing your own thing. Find hobbies, go out with friends, do other stuff. Start not seeing each other as much. Keep it to a couple of days a week at most.
clia Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 How much effort are you actually putting in? Your post makes it sound like you are playing some sort of power game with her, whereby she puts in a lot of effort and you reward her by taking her out. From then on she spends most of her free time with me, drives 30mins to see me and stays over a few nights a week and most of the weekend. This happens for 2 or so weeks so I decide to ask her out. She says yes. I don't understand this. She's driving to your house for two weeks and spending the night and spending most of the weekend with you and...you aren't going out? Or does that mean something else? After 2 weeks of dating she starts slowing down, replies are shorter and shorter, and blunt discussions. Are you driving the 30 minutes to her at all? Are you taking her out on dates? Or is she doing all the work? She becomes more distant and seems to ignore my texts but still replies and comes to see me. Have you ever gone to see her? I tried to hang with her on the weekend but shes just kept saying shes too busy, I ask whats up and she just says she scared, I question her if she wants to continue and still likes me and its always yes. What do you mean you try to hang out with her? You asked her out on a date in advance? Or you asked her to drive 30 minutes to your house? It seems like she did really like you in the beginning, but now your behavior has kind of put her off, and she isn't sure how she wants to proceed with you. 1
Object_a Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Sounds to me like she let herself get over-excited early on and then realised she was just lost in the moment. Maybe she was on the rebound from her ex and just looking for some distraction. Or she could have been infatuated initially but ended up thinking you're not compatible once she got to know you better. Whatever the case may be it definitely sounds like she's not interested any more.
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