Should I meet my Ex in person one last time?

[AnotherDay]

Hi guys, this is my first post in the LS community

 

I know this is a question that has probably been asked hundreds of times (and usually responded to with a resounding DON'T DO IT), but I think my situation has a unique twist to it. I'll try to give some backstory first:

 

I spent the past couple of years teaching English in South Korea (you should try it!), and met a cool girl at the orientation for new teachers. She was in a LDR at the time so I kept my distance, but once she broke it off a few months later, our friendship blossomed into something more. We dated for the remaining year and a half that we were in Korea, and around a year in, we started talking about the future. I'm from Seattle, and she's from upper Michigan. I offered to make the move to Michigan since she gets hit harder by homesickness than me.

 

Toward the end, an emotional barrier seemed to come between us (I was too stupid to really notice at the time), but we still went on vacation together for our last week in Korea, and had made arrangements to go to Vegas with her family around a month after returning home. She left Korea a week before me because I wanted to spend some time saying my goodbyes, so I saw her off at the airport with a simple hug and kiss, and "I'll see you in a few weeks!"

 

Once I finally returned to the US, I chatted with her on Skype and bought my tickets for Vegas. Things were going fine until a few days later, when she suddenly told me she wanted to end the relationship because she wasn't sure if she still loved me enough for me to follow her to Michigan.

 

Needless to say I was devastated, and a few subsequent phone calls got pretty messy since we were both so high on emotions. I've been trying to move on, but I'm facing a major obstacle: The Vegas trip.

 

She still wanted me to go (or at least guilt drove her to say so), but I was heartbroken and turned her down. A couple of friends of mine offered to go with me so that I could still salvage something from the money spent on flight tickets, so the current plan is to go with them, but not see her.

 

I'm facing a dilemma now because I have been reconsidering my decision to not see her; I feel this way because one of the most traumatic elements of the breakup for me was the fact that I didn't know that I was possibly seeing her off for the last time in Korea, otherwise I would've made that a more special moment.

 

I'm probably being stupid here, but a part of me thinks that we can somehow meet up for the last time in Vegas and have a casual, non-awkward conversation, and "re-end" the relationship on a high note. I know that I can pull it off on my end, but also that I will feel like crap afterwards. But I also worry that I might feel worse if I don't see her a final time.

 

I'm sorry for writing a novel there, but I'm really at a loss. Do I deal with the pain of letting my last chance to see her again pass by, or the pain of ripping open a still fresh wound? I'm so torn

[Amelie1980]

Will it make any difference? it may make it worse. your last goodbye was when you were still a couple.

 

The last time I spent a night with my now ex, it was pretty special. We also made love that morning and it was crap. we were running late for work, watching the clock, didn't have time and had to give up in less than a minute or so. I thought never mind next time it'll be better. If id known that was the last time I wouldve said the hell with work and taken the morning off to make it more special. But I couldn't have known.

 

I spent a night him after that but we didn't make love. I want to hid house to talk things though. it was horrible. he was uncomfortable with me and it wasn't "us".

 

That May happen with you.

 

Also she broke off a ldr yo be with you? Do you think she rekindled it when she went home?

[AnotherDay]

I see. That awkwardness and the high possibility of her coming in with her guard up would probably mess me up. I'm sorry to hear about your story Amelie, but I'm glad to hear that you toughed it out.

 

As for the rekindling an old relationship thing, I doubt it because he's moved somewhere else to the best of my knowledge, but I'd rather not think about it because it HAS happened to me before. A second time would just be more WTF than anything else.