johan Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Phase 1: When you first meet, the other person comes with cool mystery. It's easy to mistake tentativeness for self-assured aloofness, and maybe a bit of disinterest. So that's the challenge, to win over this person who thinks they are too good for you. Phase 2: Then one day the little tether to safety snaps and you find out the cool mystery and aloofness was fear, and behind those things was lurking a little boy or girl who just wants love. And they want it from you. Not to mention their silly side comes out, and maybe some of the more unpleasant aspect of their personalities come to light. The person you are now faced with is not the person you were attracted to in the first place. It's like you have to fall for them all over again. Like starting over with a brand new person after several weeks or months. This is the reason why you need to be confident and know yourself. So you're just as likely to present the real you on day 1 as you are on day 100. It's why people often get blindsided with breakups. Because they weren't consistent. The transition from Phase 1 to Phase 2 was too drastic. Confidence is important also in that it builds trust. Fewer surprises. People shouldn't confuse confidence with arrogance. Confidence is knowing yourself and having faith in yourself. Not thinking you know everything and can do anything. Arrogance is pretending like you know everything and can do anything. Just felt like throwing a little dissertation out there. Don't ask me why. 3
Treasa Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I agree. I don't show my "perfect" side anymore. I show who I really am from the very start.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I show my worst side at the start and scare all the men off 3
Kamille Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 This is the reason why you need to be confident and know yourself. So you're just as likely to present the real you on day 1 as you are on day 100. This can be such a challenge though. Especially when I like/crush on the guy. It's like I want to make sure I'm given a fair chance, so I try to seduce him by whatever means necessary. I'm working on not doing that anymore, but it's tough. I'm already starting to see the reward of skipping straight to stage 2 though. It's much more validating than trying to "falsely" seduce someone. 1
Star Gazer Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I show my worst side at the start and scare all the men off Me too! But as Kam would say, "Are you scary, Star/ES?" No, no we are not scary! 2
Ruby Slippers Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I show my worst side at the start and scare all the men off I don't show my total worst right away, but I don't hide anything. Most guys don't mind a little "bad girl" - and in fact are drawn to it - as long as you're honest and genuine about who you are.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Me too! But as Kam would say, "Are you scary, Star/ES?" No, no we are not scary! It's not easy to find truly brave men/people. I think I've found one. That counts for a LOT with me.
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