Standard-Fare Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I think I've taken an unusually long time to get over my exes, because whenever I feel myself slipping into the "numbness" point where I no longer care about them all, I resist it. I'll choose to pine for someone too long, or feel the pain for too long, as opposed to succumbing to indifference. I realize that's very "tortured poet" and unhealthy and obnoxious, but I do find something terrifying about the numbness I feel toward people in my life who I used to love with all my heart and soul. For every single one of my exes, when I think of them now I feel absolutely nothing. There's no pang of any kind. Nothing good, nothing bad... just nothing at all. Like they're total strangers. Once I was sitting at an outdoor restaurant with some friends and out of the blue I saw an OLD ex walk by with his dog. I hadn't seen him in years. The sighting didn't uncover any latent emotions. I felt completely calm and indifferent. I also marveled at how different he looked to me, even though I'm sure his physical appearance hadn't even changed that much. It's just that he seemed like a different person when my mind wasn't basking him in the glaze of love. Even one ex, I have managed to maintain a minimal friendship with, but the emotions I feel are very, very shallow. If we didn't speak for six months, I wouldn't even notice... and if our contact broke off entirely, I probably wouldn't care. How is this the same person who could once make me swoon and sob? I guess it's all just self-protective measures, but I do find something sad about it. It's like the past doesn't even count for anything. 1
McGriff Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I wish I could be that way. I think that's somewhat dysfunctional, but your heart had been hardened towards your exes. The key is, are you able to love people in the future. I still carry some semblance of feelings for all my exes, although most of the feelings lay dormant. If I see them, which is rare, I can get tiny little pangs, but nothing that's gonna make me go into a tailspin. I am still very weak for my latest ex, but only because its been a couple months. I am moving in the right direction though.
CompleteFailure Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I'll choose to pine for someone too long, or feel the pain for too long, as opposed to succumbing to indifference. I realize that's very "tortured poet" and unhealthy and obnoxious, but I do find something terrifying about the numbness I feel toward people in my life who I used to love with all my heart and soul. I think I'm trying to hold on the same way. I really don't want it to all be for nothing. For every single one of my exes, when I think of them now I feel absolutely nothing. There's no pang of any kind. Nothing good, nothing bad... just nothing at all. Like they're total strangers. Its sad knowing that this feeling will eventually come. Even though its for our own health, I don't want it to ever be this way. Its also hard knowing that the other person probably doesn't have any of these thoughts/concerns. Even one ex, I have managed to maintain a minimal friendship with, but the emotions I feel are very, very shallow. If we didn't speak for six months, I wouldn't even notice... and if our contact broke off entirely, I probably wouldn't care. Ugh
Jono85 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 it is a mildly depressing thought for sure, I know what you mean, but ask yourself what's the alternative? after all that's the exact reason why they are your ex, because one of you began to lose those feelings for the other. one person would rather look for a more compatible partner, so much so they're content with losing that person/ex completely. it can be overwhelming to think about, but that's life. nothing you can do if you're the dumpee anyway. sure grieve over it for a little while, but at some point you need to get on with your life and accept these ppl are gone and simply a piece of our past. if/when you find that next person that gives you all those feelings hopefully the idea is it won't bother you at all or at least very much.
Dragi3169 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I pray that one day I'm able to feel nothing towards my Ex cause its torture caring this much when she probably could care less on what I'm doing. Of course I probably had this coming going into a relationship with her I knew she was a very emotionless person. I was her first Love and yet she broke it off cause she was scared she wouldn't Love me as much as I love her.Boggles my mind really
all_cats_rgray Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 It's a survival mechanism. If you tap into the pain your feeling... well you would hurt ALOT.
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