starla33 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) i was previously hanging out with a guy for a few months (it was casual), but we got along great and we decided to end it because I want a relationship and he doesn't want one anytime soon(not necessarily with him, but basically I was wasting time and not open to other guys at this point and was getting attached so was time to get out). I thought we ended things on good terms and would talk in the future at some point (this was a few weeks ago). I had a death in the family last week and I'm 100% sure one of his friends told him this as we have some mutual friends....he didn't contact me whatsoever to say anything. I don't know why, but I'm insanely hurt by this and it seems so heartless. I thought we were at least friends and that he cared about me somewhat. I just can't wrap my head around how someone can just not care about you at all only two weeks after you have stopped seeing each other even if it was not serious. I always care about another persons well being Edited April 14, 2013 by starla33
lynn1954 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 You are right to feel hurt. Unfortunately, other people have whatever level of kindness, caring and compassion that they have. We can't make other people more thoughtful and considerate than they are. On the other hand, be sure that you are appropriately grateful and show it to all of the people who did support you re: the recent death in the family. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 You are right to feel hurt. Unfortunately, other people have whatever level of kindness, caring and compassion that they have. We can't make other people more thoughtful and considerate than they are. On the other hand, be sure that you are appropriately grateful and show it to all of the people who did support you re: the recent death in the family. Of course. I mean he used to find out that I'm sick and say sorry you are sick. So not sure how hard it was to say I'm sorry for your loss.... I'm having a hard time believing anyone can be this heartless.
crude Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 You said that you wanted a relationship, and a friendship and what the two of you had was a waste of time. If someone tells me a friendship with her is a waste of her time, I simply bail. 1
Author starla33 Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) You said that you wanted a relationship, and a friendship and what the two of you had was a waste of time. If someone tells me a friendship with her is a waste of her time, I simply bail. I know I didn't mean friendship...just mean I thought we ended on ok terms. I never said that to him ever that anything was a waste of time are you kidding? I would have continued to see him, but he didn't want to move towards anything serious. Edited April 14, 2013 by starla33
e40 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 I thought we ended things on good terms and would talk in the future at some point (this was a few weeks ago). I had a death in the family last week and I'm 100% sure one of his friends told him this as we have some mutual friends....he didn't contact me whatsoever to say anything. How do you know for sure?
outsidethebox Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 He probably thought you were pretty uncaring not to tell him about it. It goes both ways. 2
gaius Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Most only extend courtesy like that when they want something from you. I guess he doesn't want anything from you anymore.
reaver Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Not all men are caring people. Im sorry for your loss. :( Dont give da booger any brain space in your head
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 First my condolences for your loss. I'm sure it's a very emotional, difficult time for you. Please look on the bright side. I think this was a wakeup call and reinforcement in case you wavered about your decision to end things. Did every single one of your friends reach out? Probably not. Are you as upset with them? Probably not. I think this is a sign that you were far more attached to him than you actually realized. Be grateful that you ended things, make sure you maintain your distance, and stick with the breakup. Not only was he holding you back from finding someone with the same goals, but you were also developing feelings for him that would never be returned. 2
Author starla33 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 He probably thought you were pretty uncaring not to tell him about it. It goes both ways. Why would I tell him if we have not talked to eachother since we stopped seeing eachother? And it was basically a friend with benefits type of deal so I wouldn't come to him first about something like this.
WhoreyBull Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Well, in his defense... I personally have trouble talking about people dying with the people I am related to let alone a fwb. I know it must be hurting you that he heard about it and didn't say anything. However, he may have thought since the relationship was over it was best to just leave things alone.
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Well, you just explained why he should not be expected to contact you. Throw in that you ended the arrangement, not him, and there really is zero reason why he should be expected to contact you based on this explanation.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Well, you just explained why he should not be expected to contact you. Throw in that you ended the arrangement, not him, and there really is zero reason why he should be expected to contact you based on this explanation. Kinda the way I se it... Sorry for your loss, TFOY
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