Treasa Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 This has nothing to do with the dog. I told you in your previous thread that it seems like your boyfriend isn't into you. Not much affection, no sex, etc. First it was the champix or whatever. Now it's the dog. I think it's just your boyfriend. He just doesn't seem to want to be with you. That isn't a reflection on you, but you staying with him and trying to make him happy is something you can control. Why not remove yourself from the situation? Being alone would give you time to think about everything, and it would give your boyfriend time to see if he misses you or not. Right now you aren't getting your needs met. 4
El Brujo Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Relax, the dude will wise up and come around once the puppy starts humping his leg.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Ok, For all of you saying im crazy, irrational, jealous, controlling etc..... it is 6am here. We didnt go to bed until 3am "so the dog wasnt on his own". I am now on the sofa (at 6am!!) after he brought the dog to bed and when i went to stoke him i got "look at the f**king state of your face i dont know how anyone can hate him. You are a disgusting bitch. Get out and f**k yourself" to which i got out and i am now on the sofa. I didnt even say anything! I just went to stroke him! The majority of people on here have completely judged me and jumped to conclusions. I asked for advice. Oh wow, that is realy terrible. Sweety, your boyfriend is jacked-up. I agree with everything Teresa said. You need to leave this situation or tell him to get out of your place (whoever's place it is). Why would you want to be with a man that talked to you like this? Regardless of the dog. 3
KatZee Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 Cats are better. Was about to agree with the dog comment, but this one's even better. I'd pick my cat over a guy any day lmao.
KatZee Posted April 17, 2013 Posted April 17, 2013 But seriously, I'm not sure why you're even in this relationship to be honest. Your needs aren't being met, and Treasa is right. It's one thing after the next with this guy. He doesn't sound like he wants to be with you at all and he's making excuse after excuse. And you really allow him to speak to you that way? If this was my boyfriend, he'd be SO done. I really don't put up with such disrespect. 1
blueeyedgal58 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Your boyfriend sounds like he has an addictive personality. Ask yourself if there are other things that seem compulsive. Can he have one cookie? or does he eat the whole bag?
KathyM Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 If he is being so disrespectful to you and values his dog more than you, then it's time to end the relationship. Tell him that since he values his dog more than his girlfriend, and wants to make the dog his top priority in life, then you will leave the two lovebirds to their affair. If the guy had still been good to you and was just having boundary issues with the dog, I would have suggested that you work out boundaries with him regarding the dog, such as no dog in the bed, no dog in the bedroom, no dog on the furniture. Men seem to bond with their dogs so much that they sometimes lose sight of who is most important to them. Setting boundaries is what should be done when the dog seems to be taking over the house and taking over all the attention from your partner, but since this has gone way past that to the point that your boyfriend is disrespecting you and being emotionally abusive about it, and not valuing you over the dog, it's time to put an end to the relationship IMO.
Author stansmam Posted January 27, 2014 Author Posted January 27, 2014 Ive just been reading over my past threads and this one has really struck me. Since i posted this, i have been to hell and back wi my bf!! However, i am now free of him and have been since december. This morning, i sat in a police station for 6 hours giving and account of our relationship, he was subsequently brought in for questioning. As for the dog, he got more and more obsessed with him, to the point where i was being left with no food because it was only him and the dog allowed to eat. He would shout at me and tell me to "sit" infront of the dog. He told me this was so the dog knew that i was below the dog in the pack. The dog is only a snippet of the tale. I was never cruel to the dog. I loved him and it breaks my heart that i'll never see him again, but he was clearly my exes dog and all i cared about was his well being, regardless of what people think on here. I would like to thank everyone that replied positively to me, whilst at the time, i didnt take the advice n leave, reading this today has reminded me how better off i am without him! Heres to a new start!!
lollipopspot Posted January 27, 2014 Posted January 27, 2014 Since i posted this, i have been to hell and back wi my bf!! However, i am now free of him and have been since december. This morning, i sat in a police station for 6 hours giving and account of our relationship, he was subsequently brought in for questioning. Good you got away. What did he do that got brought you to the police station? I am concerned for the dog, given what you wrote about this guy. He seems potentially very abusive when things don't go his way, and an animal is unpredictable. Adult humans (like you) can get away. But pets can't, so that is why I think they deserve extra consideration - they are captive to the whims of the humans in their lives.
crederer Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Seriously, you are jealous of a puppy? Poor Puppy! I think you are very controlling ..and this is not healthy! Yah I have to agree with this. I doubt it's the way you're saying. If it is that way, the issue isn't the dog, it's the catalyst that has forced the issues into light. But to be perfectly frank i simply think you're jealous that he's giving the dog a lot of attention.
crederer Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 Ok, For all of you saying im crazy, irrational, jealous, controlling etc..... it is 6am here. We didnt go to bed until 3am "so the dog wasnt on his own". I am now on the sofa (at 6am!!) after he brought the dog to bed and when i went to stoke him i got "look at the f**king state of your face i dont know how anyone can hate him. You are a disgusting bitch. Get out and f**k yourself" to which i got out and i am now on the sofa. I didnt even say anything! I just went to stroke him! The majority of people on here have completely judged me and jumped to conclusions. I asked for advice. Okay I made my last post before I read this. So what do you want? Is this behaviour tolerable for you? I mean really I can't think of any reason to stay with someone who would ever say something like that to their partner.
Author stansmam Posted January 28, 2014 Author Posted January 28, 2014 Yeah, im really not jealous of a pup! I love the pup. Now im out of it, i see that not being able to sleep in my own bed because the dog has it, not being given any tea because the last money was spent on steak for the dog, being told im 3rd in the house etc is not a normal way to have a relationship. For all those who think it is, i pitty your partner! As for hurting the dog, yes, he used to beat him. I tried to take the dog but he got there first. I have reported his behaviour and im now worried sick. I managed to get the other dog and the cat out. I was at the police to report his violence. Hes an awful person!!
lollipopspot Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 As for hurting the dog, yes, he used to beat him. I tried to take the dog but he got there first. I have reported his behaviour and im now worried sick. I managed to get the other dog and the cat out. I was at the police to report his violence. Hes an awful person!! Yeah, he sounds awful. Does England have good animal welfare laws? Do you think they'll be able to take the dog away from him?
lollipopspot Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 This really made me laugh (sorry)... read post #38 1
Shepp Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 As for hurting the dog, yes, he used to beat him. I tried to take the dog but he got there first. I have reported his behaviour and im now worried sick. I managed to get the other dog and the cat out. I was at the police to report his violence. Hes an awful person!! You cant just leave a helpless animal in that environment - you need to contact the RSPCA and get the dog taken away from him! Can you provide evidence? Otherwise if you bought the dog out of joint money you have the right to fight for it to be in your possession. One way or another you bought this puppy and placed it with this man - I know that's not your fault, I know you didn't know what he'd do, - but now you do you need to protect this innocent animals welfare! No one else is going to - its relying on you, don't condemn it to a life of beatings and abuse. 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 OH... I thought you meant dumped for dog, as to mean: dog, an unappealing girl, a bad looking girl, and so on and so forth.. I didn't know you literally meant a dog, as in WOOF:lmao:
Syreeni Posted January 28, 2014 Posted January 28, 2014 I have experienced this. An ex boyfriend now, but not because if this specifically...this was just one of many issues. This guys personality is extremely narcissistic, could be immature at times, flitted from one interest to another ( easily bored, constantly wanting/needing to be entertained, not ADHD style) but when he got something in his head, whether it was a certain type of sandwich, a haircut, a new MMO game or a movie, he had to have it Now Now Now! If he didn't get what he wanted, he either excessively whined or he got mean. And he was horrible with his money management, often because of this behavior. I know he sounds like a 2 year old, but it was more like badly behaved 15 year old in those moments, and the longer the relationship went on, the more I noticed this behavior and the more it annoyed me. As the behavior became more and more clear, red flags waved boldly, however that didn't stop me from trying to be reasonable with him. He often agreed to wait to get something, then within minutes, hours, the next day--- he already got, was in the process of getting, figuring out how to get it--Completely disregarding our discussion and decision, finances (I wonder how the rent will be paid this month), his word that he understood we didn't have the money and promises that he was going to wait. Just to give you context to my thinking--- If I want something, I'll consider finances, save up if its too expensive and would disrupt my bills. I'll put it on a list or keep it in my mind, get it the next time I'm in that store. If I can't have that item now, I don't have a meltdown. If I am super excited about an item and have the money, I will make a special trip within the next few days. I consider this in the realm of normal behavior. So. He got it into his head that he wanted a cat. I adore cats-im a total future 80 year old cat lady.(ok, I am one in training, as I have 3 and this boyfriend was toast years ago). However, He's the one saying it, and their are things to consider, the cost of the initial vet appointment and any others in the future, the monthly cost of food/litter. Again, he agreed to wait...that lasted overnight, because by the morning he made contact with a friend that had free kittens. So, within 12 hours...we had a cat. (I swear, I gave up trying to be reasonable with him after this- totally gave in and gave up, just dealt with the aftermath) It was adorable, but his behavior was not. The second we got that cat I ceased to exist. Anytime I picked it up/played with it- he had to have it/play with it and that was on top of the general, overall ignoring me. He put it in bed between us and if it got down, he would get up and get it back in bed between us. He was emotionally pushing me away, but also physically. If I touched him, he picked up the cat. Talk to him, he would ignore me and cuddle/baby talk to the cat. I pick up the cat, within second he was taking it from me. When I called him on his behavior and told him how it made me feel, he completely denied his behavior, and dismissed my feelings. Yes, I felt exactly the same way you did. After 3 weeks, I started to resent the cat. It wasn't because I hated it, nor would I ever behave Ill toword it....but it became a representation of his horrible behavior. Yes, even in the moment, I knew that. It was his behavior and treatment of me...the way cute, adorable kitty wasn't the object of my distress. I figured like most things, he would soon enough, lose the fixation once it got old...like he did with everything else, I guessed a few months max. And he did...only it took a year and a half for him to behave in a heathy manner about the cat. So...maybe your guy isn't as extreme in some of the areas, but he is certainly showing you how he feels about you and I would strongly caution you to consider finding someone who doesn't push you to the side. Just a side note- we had other issues, many of them steaming from his abuse all the way through his adolescents by his mother. Major female issues. This is also why I fell into the trap... I'm a "fixer" - the big hearted-understanding type- I too have a long history of being emotionally/physically abused since 3. Because of that....I have loads of these stories. I didn't heed many warning signs in relationships and let things go on for far longer than I should have, even when I knew the relationship/guy wasn't good. Don't be me. I hope this helped you. Perhaps if you looked closer to him/your relationship before the dog, things will pop out for you as being off or beginning to change/be an issue. He is telling you several things. Actions always speak loader than words and when the words and actions do not match, don't stay in the relationship. Don't waste months or years of your life. Its not worth it. Yes, many people deal with a thing overtaking or being an issue like a guy harshly ignoring his partner when a football game is on to the level that it becomes annoying and can breed resentment which leads to even more issues. Their is a healthy way to take part and enjoy life--- it is never at the expense of your partner. 1
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