burnyourlifedown Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 my ex broke up with me because she felt that we are too immature right now as a couple and also there is someone else that she is interested in. she wants to be in other relationships. i saw this coming but it still hurt me. i tried to go on nc for awhile but she texted me that i was throwing away our friendship. we were best friends even before we got together. she told me that my feelings for her are actually shallow because now that we arent together anymore im not interested in being friends with her. we are more than lovers because we are best friends and partners in crime, she told me. i really do feel the same way in the sense that i would like to continue this friendship. i value this friendship. so we maintained contact for about three weeks. then we started flirted with each other through text but we havent seen each other because i live far away from her. but this week i am in the same city for a short visit and we decided to meet up. we ended up making out a lot and we had sex. after the sex, she told me that she loves me and shes sorry for the break up and maybe one day, we can be together again. we continued to hang out but then she started mentioning her new love interest. they arent officially together. she wanted to talk to me about their issues. i tried to maintain my cool but she told me about them sending each other mixtapes and doodles and then i just lost it. i made a scene and she got so mad at me. i told her i couldnt deal with this and that i dont think i want to be **** buddies or whatever while shes waiting for her new love interest. i just cant. she was angry and hurt and she told me to go away. i apologized to her through text and in person for the scene i caused and for losing it but she still sent me away and she didnt reply to any of my messages nor take my calls. i feel so bad, not only did i lose my lover but also my best friend. i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose her as my best friend.
lynn1954 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 You must save yourself and help yourself first. If you are hurting, and it helps you to not see her and not contact her, then don't see her and don't contact her. Tell her that you need a break to get yourself together, and that you'll work on your friendship after you're OK. After you've recovered, then you can decide if you want a friendshi with her. If it's good for you, then be friends. If it's bad for you, then you'll know what to do at that time. Good luck, feel better soon!
Author burnyourlifedown Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 thank you. i feel so pathetic right now.
Uncle Indy Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 The way I see it, it doesn't matter if you were best friends, closest buddies, etc. for any amount of time. Once you get into a relationship with someone, there's more meaning of 2 months of relationship than 2 years of best friends. After splitting up with someone and either person getting their heart broken or feeling lost, contact should be cut completely unless you randomly run into each other on the streets then a hello and whatever is ok. Do not be on her leash. She is keeping you around as a friend, meanwhile doing lord knows what with another man. She says "Throwing away our friendship" while she does this stuff. Pay no attention to her, remove her from your life, and move on while helping yourself. Do not try to get back together, you will be even more hurt in the end. It can be really rough.
Author burnyourlifedown Posted April 17, 2013 Author Posted April 17, 2013 thank you. she contacted me today and shes saying that she wants her best friend back. i replied that i also want my best friend too. so we chatted a bit. but then i still feel hurt that i said something that i know would annoy her so she told me im an idiot and an ******* and shes going to ignore me again. i want to be mature about this. i honestly im not ready to go back to being best friends but shes expecting me to be over it by now. i told her that i need to fix myself before i become truly her friend again. shes angry at me right now. im still not sure if im doing this right.
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