query Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) I received a gift in the mail from my ex with no note. It was sent to my old address in her handwriting and forwarded to my address. What the box contained was novel she knew I wanted. As I was just healing this shows up. I dropped off her remaining stuff a week after the being dumped and stated that I did not want or need anything from her. I do not want her back, and I let her know that I forgave her. I am baffled why she did not return it or sell it. And why she felt the need to send it. I have a few ideas but wanted to get some outside opinions. Thanks so much! Edited April 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed person info
Appleness Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Guilt As in, "I know you probably feel awful and think I'm a horrible person, so allow me to buy you off with something I know you'll like so I can feel better about myself." Granted, I'm not your ex so I can't tell you exactly what she was thinking, but I'd be willing to bet that it's pretty much on those lines. 1
Author query Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) I was thinking it was along those lines. She is emotionally immature, so that fits the bill. Not sure what to do with the books though as they are tainted in my opinion. Edited April 14, 2013 by query
Appleness Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Sure you do. Keep em and read em. I wouldn't waste money sending them back to her. That gives her and excuse to say "I was just TRYING to be nice." If they didn't clearly say that they came from her and you just recognized her handwriting, hey it's fair game. Personally, I can't abide the cowardliness of the action. If you're going to lay some guilt, then at least man up and put your name on it instead of this whole "secret admirer" BS. (But that's just me) Anyways, for all you know someone nice (like me for example ) with handwriting that looks just like hers thought you could do with some cheering up and got you some books. Enjoy! 1
Author query Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 You are correct. I forgot to state the return address was her name. So it was her.
uniqwa Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) well.. I kinda did the same thing with my ex.. He had sent me money, I said the same thing your ex did.. I sent it because it was his and i didn't want to keep something of his or spend it, regardless of the fact YOU'VE moved on, She hasn't and its extremely sad because had she learned what she knows now BEFORE YOU BROKE UP you both would have been happy together the fact she wants you in her life, she literally hasn't stopped thinking about you.. YOU guys would have had a better relationship. Now its the guilt ( dwelling on all the wrongs) the fact she had something of YOU, for me it was his money.. It's like us saying THIS MENTALLY look man I know you don't want me.. I am sorry for the **** ups.. I am emotionally healing and I still love you.. Sorry. I am sorry for everything I did or did not do in our relationship.. NOW you being kind, just keep that up. She is not an idiot, she is well aware of the fact you no longer want her. She still wants you, but in time that will die and what she has learned from the relationship she had with you. Will make her better for the next guy. Women are over analytical, women are over emotional.. Women are also logical.. LOGIC tells us this : He does not want me. I ****ed up because now.. I lost him and I really ****ed up. Her sending you that book, that was her white flag. She's giving up and she's hurt, but she's accepting you don't want her. She's accepting her faults. She's accepting that she's going to find someone one day. Edited April 14, 2013 by uniqwa 1
Author query Posted April 14, 2013 Author Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the words. Helps to hear the other side of the coin. Edited April 15, 2013 by query
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