Surprise, you're in a relationship!..a story

[Els]

There is a difference between how in theory things should work and how they actually perform in reality. Many times in a romantic dynamic, things are one-sided more often than people would like to admit, therefore they create these acts and contributions in their mind that the other person is investing equally to establish a reciprocating and mutual relationship. Others may hope their investment pays off with reciprocation from the other person as an end result.

 

Men aren't going to buy sex dolls and escorts when there's women available who are all "looking for love", a love many women have already fantasized about and what that even is to them, before this man even came to.

 

Therefore all a man simply has to do is fake sincerity, genuine emotion and intent, which many men do to get what they want...men who understand women, get the farthest in taking advantage of them, it's no coincidence. There are certain buttons to press and strings to pull, now what do you think "man" will generally do with that power, take advantage of it...or use it for good?

 

I would think that one thing many women would learn fairly early on is that the world doesn't revolve around their emotions and how they feel, therefore ignoring the obvious signs of men who are not. Especially if your expectations of love is so grand, why or how could you settle for so little?

 

You think men string women along? let's be realistic, women string themselves along and they let those "manipulation tactics" however shady and transparent they may seem, suffice for a "convincing argument" rather than place the fault on themselves since their gut feeling knew better the entire time.

 

Of course all of this happens - and they aren't the last of the crappy things that can possibly happen in Rs. I don't see how they are tied to your OP, though.

 

I honestly just speak openly and freely, I don't put much forethought into it...I don't try to articulate myself or explain things well, this is just how it comes out. If I were ever to try and give advice on a grander scale/platform, I'd modify it to make sure it's relevant and effective, it'd be a completely different process for me. I don't feel a responsibility to establish a code or clear identity on a public forum.

 

People hate to be generalized or categorized, hell they hate to be called "people" I'd have to personally address every single person on the planet and understand each and every individual situation with all the irrelevant details that unfortunately, people don't realize how fundamental it actually is, and not about all those others details that are mainly irrelevant to the big picture...if you're just looking for the bottom line that is, emotionally all of it is relevant obviously, but I don't do much emotionally consoling publicly.

 

All people may be different in their likes/dislikes and certain ways because nobody experiences the same exact things, but there's a fundamental connection called "human nature" that links everyone together, and this is something people either underestimate or feel above. You're going to very very likely be affected by and a product of your environment and experiences, that's how human beings work, they take what they learn and see and apply, often times subconsciously and without their own knowledge or awareness...so to understand an individual is to understand their past really, because of lot of their actions, thoughts, feelings are manipulated by those things...as well as traumas, and perspectives developed during those transitional times in development.

 

Why do people think they are beyond what works? billions of dollars invested in advertising, if people were so different, wouldn't that be a waste of money? wouldn't reading generic self-help books or having a therapists be a waste of time since a new category or diagnosis would need to be established and defined for each and every individual? some things need to be rearranged and adjusted, but if people are so different then why do they act the same? and why can you implement something socially and receive the same "general" result? how can I know people well and understand their situations well when I have never met them and going off a tiny thread of information?

 

But people DON'T all act the same. Honestly, does everyone you know IRL act the same? Yes, human beings are affected by their environment and experiences, but they are affected in different ways. The same experience can produce two completely opposite results depending on the person involved. It boggles me how you can accept that humans are different, but only in binary Male-Female camps? Only two types of humans in this world?

 

I don't see myself as so superior and my logic vastly enhanced, I see myself as a man of common sense and just not seeing with blinders on. Someone who's able to look at things objectively without having to feel emotionally connected and tied into my advice as If it's some representation of who I am as a man....other than being impassioned when I speak, I can make an argument on something I may not even agree with morally or explain a perspective I may not even share. Because for me you're asking a question to receive the truthful answer, and that's what I try and do in my life, cut out the BS and give the unfiltered truth instead of just simply being based off personal perspective or what I want to believe.

 

For me it's not about validation or community, or to be social, it's to help people see the truth beyond the noise that the world creates which makes the truth so distorted so they can work on themselves, come to terms with who they really are and realize where the real conflict is. I try to be accurate as I can be with too little information which is a challenge at times, and question myself more than everyone could combined, it's not a personal attack on my identity or emotions, it's merely an analytical result of observation and I must critique that.

 

And the funniest part is my method of seeking the "the truth" is something already present inside of the person, that individual will know because of their "gut" whether I'm off mark (not necessarily the community, it has to feel "personal) albeit there is certainly a bit of resistance and denial which is to be expected in human beings because for many it's an attack on their identity or opinion/judgment, in poses a threat to a fundamental view they wish to retain. So I'm not trying to create or brain-wash people so they don't feel and relate to what I'm saying, sometimes I know men relate to what I'm saying far more than women, and other times it's the other way around, and sometimes everyone can relate to it...because it's something already that resonates inside of us because i believe human nature connects us all but impacts men and women differently.

 

So the impression people may have because I "preach the word", may mean I'll become a crazy/heretic to some, a wise-man to others, and others spend their time trying to figure out what's wrong with me because they can't believe that it's not based on my personal agenda or a form of manipulation, to side with the men or women, If I make two opposite arguments and stances in different posts it must be highly confusing to those trying to put me in a box. It's simply what I have learned as "the truth", because i don't use idealistic views, religious ties, or cultural rules/boundaries to try and make my judgments...I merely try to assess the and deliver the message of human nature and what is really real...I feel that over the course of time and through society, culture and religion, many of these views have been molded, I think that's why so much doesn't feel right or natural, I think that's why we all realize that something isn't right here. But I don't argue something because of how "I feel" because I'd rather accept what is real. It's more difficult to accept the truth than it is to believe in something you want to.

 

You do use your own views, your own blinders, to interpret things, as much as I hate to tell you. Just because your viewpoint is not idealistic does not mean that it is not still just a viewpoint. And I can assure you, as someone who comes from a vastly different culture from most here, that your viewpoint is absolutely affected by culture.

 

There are several people who are capable of trying to see things from all points of view, and capable of trying to deliver as unbiased as possible a message - of which you may be one of them. But in the end, such a message will always be tainted by your personal viewpoint, because you are human. Not a robot devoid of emotions, experiences, bias, and personality. Your version of reality is not necessarily any more 'real' than anyone else's.

 

Perhaps worse yet, you are a human who is unwilling to accept that you may be wrong.

[Emilia]

Is it common practice for men to be scrutinized while women to be made out to be the "victims"

 

However when I criticize men, there is a lot of less backlash from men than when women are criticized...something suspicious about that.

 

You don't criticise men nearly as badly as you critisice women. You are smug, disrespectful and dismissive of women whom you consider knowing so well - but you are just another bitter little guy. You delight in their vulnerability and their naivety. I've read the opening paragraph on your OLD profile and didn't bother with the rest. Yet another guy blaming his misfortunes on women and their expectations. Run along little boy. Your self-proclaimed 'helpfulness' is not fooling anyone.

[Eternal Sunshine]

But people DON'T all act the same. Honestly, does everyone you know IRL act the same? Yes, human beings are affected by their environment and experiences, but they are affected in different ways. The same experience can produce two completely opposite results depending on the person involved. It boggles me how you can accept that humans are different, but only in binary Male-Female camps? Only two types of humans in this world?

 

Yeah but there are certain patterns that exist for a large % of people. Men and women ARE wired differently. Nothing applies to everyone. But I am really less interested in a small %. Details of each situation matter less than you would think. If patterns and trends are irrelevant, then statistics wouldn't exist and I would be out of work.

[Els]

Yeah but there are certain patterns that exist for a large % of people. Men and women ARE wired differently. Nothing applies to everyone. But I am really less interested in a small %. Details of each situation matter less than you would think. If patterns and trends are irrelevant, then statistics wouldn't exist and I would be out of work.

 

There are. But that is not what ninja is saying.

 

Also, I believe in trends and patterns, but I don't believe in allowing them to rule my life. 90% of self-made entrepreneurs don't succeed, but that does not mean that one can use that figure to tell Felicia Day, for instance, that one knows better than her and her business model is doomed to failure.

Edited April 16, 2013 by Elswyth

[Ninjainpajamas]

Perhaps worse yet, you are a human who is unwilling to accept that you may be wrong.

 

C'mon Elsyth, let's be realistic here...you honestly think that people that have a disagreement with me or a chip on their shoulder because of what I'm saying, objectively is...wrong?

 

I wasn't born yesterday and I'm no fool, I know I'm not right all of the time, or as accurate as I'd like to be every single time, I never claimed to be perfect and never wrong. I've merely debated my points because this is a public forum and that's what you do and yes, I feel like it's pretty solid very advice very often...and honestly, I think a lot of advice that people give on here is actually going to misguide people, even though it is well intended...I know that it's only going to cause them to go down a road that will result in more pain. As much as I may want to be wrong about things sometimes, I know it's the truth, because I understand things well, and I can see between the layers and beyond very often, I can see what is developing and happening, I can interpret the behavior, I'm very keen towards patterns.

 

And what is the truth to me? the truth is in the result/outcome.

 

It's more of an emotional thing than rational of whether I'm liked or disliked. They don't like my attitude...the way I talk...not what I'm saying but how I'm saying it, it's how I may come off to some people that can rub them the wrong way, whether I'm being condescending or like a know it all...and we all know how we like to see the know it all be proven wrong, even if it's for the sake of sheer resistance and dislike rather than whether or not what they say has any merit.

 

You think I don't know or have realized the change in someone's attitude on here after I've posted something on their thread, something they didn't want to hear, or for me to be right about or because they were offended because maybe I indirectly or directly offended their personal view/relationship or emotions. It takes one comment to change someone's attitude or opinion of me, and for many that is set in stone once they "label me".

 

My challenge is, if you know I'm wrong, and you know I'm full of it.....prove it. That's all, explain yourself and show an aptitude of understanding that you can see why things completely work in a different way that I'm stating because anyone can simply refute or deny what I'm saying just because, and honestly how do you even know why they're disagreeing with me? what if they just plain don't like me or what I had to say?

 

But to say I'm talking out of me arse, or that I'm merely "wrong" isn't a very convincing argument, I know I'm right about a lot of things, because I've seen it 1000 times.

 

You don't criticise men nearly as badly as you critisice women. You are smug, disrespectful and dismissive of women whom you consider knowing so well - but you are just another bitter little guy. You delight in their vulnerability and their naivety. I've read the opening paragraph on your OLD profile and didn't bother with the rest. Yet another guy blaming his misfortunes on women and their expectations. Run along little boy. Your self-proclaimed 'helpfulness' is not fooling anyone.

 

Oh I beg to differ, in fact when I call out men and can be very harsh to them as well...however you don't see this flow of denial and support for them either so it doesn't turn into a 50 page thread, sure you'll see that guy in the back say "yeah whatever, you're an idiot! ha!" but that's about it. Men don't generally seem to be in as deep of denial as women are about the reality, they're overall better at taking criticism, they will actually process it a bit instead of have a knee jerk reaction to be offended. Sure some of them think they are the new sliced bread, but not many react that way, and I respect the men who take my criticism well because I know how bruising that can be to ego. But they're not nearly as emotional, they rationalize what you're saying even if they don't like it....which many women will not, once they don't like something that you have to say or you for whatever reason, they just dismiss you altogether. So are you not being dismissive?

 

I am smug, dismissive and disrespectful to women at times...but that's because they should expect better from themselves not pick on their vulnerabilities and insecurities, at the end of the day I'm some guy on the internet, not the guy in their life breaking their hearts, feeding them lies who they think cares about them and he's so genuine, when I'm the one trying to tell them how it is and I don't even know you or owe you anything...I don't want women to be exploited, I want them to be faced with a mirror, faced with the truth and be forced to look into it. Many women go around consoling other women whom not know much about men and the way they work themselves, trying to merely be an emotional support for them, even if they know the truth they can't say it if it's a friendship and guess what? if she does her own friend alienates her! They have to just say that guys a jerk/loser and she deserves better...and then on to the next to reap the same pains and suffering because she did not learn, it's cyclical behavior. Sorry for not being passive or an enabler!

 

That's not my role here, I'm not going to give a way out from wiggling away from the facts. I'm going to give that tough love till you get it, I'm not trying to hurt you to cause you pain but to come out the other side, I'm trying to get you to save yourself and be in a position not to be because of the deep understanding I have of men, that's why I show you the dark side of men and expose the vulnerability of women to show you that and how they work together, that's why I'm hard on women because the density that there is to accept the truth can be so great so of course I'll keep slamming against that wall.

 

I know I could save a lot of women from further heartbreak, enlighten them, educate them on the dynamic of how men think and function. If they would of course only listen rather than listen to that voice in their heart called their emotions that makes them want to believe...maybe this guy is different, when all signs points to he is just the same. I'm the one guy or few on this planet to put my neck on the line to show you the truth instead of taking advantage of you like many of those other men with the plastic smiles and half-truths.

 

The saddest part is I could win more women over with the facade of smoke and mirrors and BS than I could sitting here telling you how it really is, because you'll insist I'm a good guy If I do this that and the other thing...as a man you actually look more like the bad guy telling the truth about men than playing along and blowing smoke up everyone's @ss and just nodding in agreement or a mans favorite...staying silent....and you wonder why men lie, cheat and manipulate, which one seems more rewarding and fruitful to you? Get burnt at the stake for revealing the truth by the witch hunters? or conform to a fictional character that a woman wants to believe and simply condition that for her?

 

Run along little girl, trust the men in your life who truly stand to hurt you because they treated you "nice" and have an agenda/something to gain because you fell for the facade and took everything he did and said at face value but surprise surprise, he wasn't all that he was cracked up to be!... instead of taking the advice of a man who understands men far better than you ever will...but you know what, you could always live in denial, that'll work!

Edited April 16, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas

[xxoo]

Therefore all a man simply has to do is fake sincerity, genuine emotion and intent, which many men do to get what they want...men who understand women, get the farthest in taking advantage of them, it's no coincidence. There are certain buttons to press and strings to pull, now what do you think "man" will generally do with that power, take advantage of it...or use it for good?

 

I would think that one thing many women would learn fairly early on is that the world doesn't revolve around their emotions and how they feel, therefore ignoring the obvious signs of men who are not. Especially if your expectations of love is so grand, why or how could you settle for so little?

 

You think men string women along? let's be realistic, women string themselves along and they let those "manipulation tactics" however shady and transparent they may seem, suffice for a "convincing argument" rather than place the fault on themselves since their gut feeling knew better the entire time.

 

And there you have it. Both the squatter and the landlord played their role in this "shocking" event. Both contributed, and unless very young and naive, both should have known better.

 

Yet your OP seems to suggest that you never saw it coming

[candie13]

I believe that it all depends on the exact details of your hypothesis: if the renter stayed in that house for FREE, he cannot expect to never receive a bill. I don't mean a bill to buy the WHOLE HOUSE , but a bill nonetheless: that of acknowledging he's in a relationship, that of exclusivity, etc.

 

However, if he is is paying rent... being hit with the purchase papers for the WHOLE HOUSE all of a sudden, is indeed a surprise.

 

What really bothers me, is the way you see the relationship, how you approach women.

 

A. WOMEN, as I perceive you seeing them, SEEK TO FILL UP A VOID AND USE MEN / ANY MAN / TO FULFILL THEIR EMOTIONAL NEEDS

- they would search to be inlove and get married - for the sake of it, irrespective with whom. And would lure in / scheme to dupe any unwarned, available individual, to get married and have kids.

 

As if the would be playing this doll box with turning ballerinas, and they only need a male ballet partner, to fill in an empty space and stay there, while the platform spin on the pre-decided moves. Irrespective of how the guy is, what he wants.

 

B. WOMEN WILL USE SEX TO ATTRACT MEN and then TIE THEM DOWN WITH A MARRIAGE CONTRACT - "you get to use my vagina, I get to own the rest of your life and your sperm", sort of.

 

C. WOMEN ROMANCE THE IDEA OF RELATIONSHIP (when it's actually only based on sex and other down to earth needs) AND IDEALIZE THEIR MAN; THEIR PARTNER'S FEELINGS, SEEING ONLY WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE

 

D. MEN, as I see you perceiving them, SEEK TO FULFILL THEIR NEED FOR CONQUEST AND SEXUAL DESIRES

- they would just look for mating and generally an easy ride, and would take any opportunity to take advantage, or fool any woman to get that, the same way you'd take a bus without paying the ticket, when you know the control officers are out of town.

 

E. MEN, as far as I see you analysing them, HAVE NO EMOTIONAL NEEDS that need satisfying. THE ONLY REASON THEY WOULD STAY NEAR A WOMAN, WOULD BE TO GET SEX INDEFINITELY AND WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED (that being the only reason that they stay). THEY WILL CHANGE WOMEN OR GET MORE FREE SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN, WHENEVER THE OPPORTUNITY ARRISES

 

Am I wrong? I don't think so.

 

IMHO, it all depends on how you start that relationship. If you're there to prey on your partner's weak spots and give in as little as possible or if you're actually willing to give that girl or boy a chance.

 

This is why beginnings are so tough, because it's then the tables are laid, the camps are set and when the two decide on which level to sing their tune. Together.

 

1. FIRST STAGE:

It's also fair to say that both men and women seek company, a good time and sex. Both of them. The real question comes after that takes place. It is fair to say that for some guys, just a few hours, dinner ending with sex and then each one goes to their place to sleep may be enough. Fair enough. No promises, not false hopes. WHAT NEXT?

 

2. SECOND STAGE

In my opinion, this is where it gets difficult. If you like the other person, you'd want to see them a bit more often. Maybe have sex a bit more often. Maybe have a few laughs more often. However, if the dates become more frequent, women will tend to get involved and yes, they might expect for relationship to get more intense: better sex, longer dates, more heated discussion, nights up enjoying the chemistry.

 

Then we get to the feelings part and how FAIR each one of the partners is towards the other.

 

See, this is the big difference between your attitude towards relationships and mine.

 

I assume the woman looks at the guy as a person, and not as a mate. Is interested in getting to understand him, to see if, beyond the sexual chemistry, she likes him, his values, his desired, his flaws, his needs. The guy doesn't merely represent "a walking d*ck society asks women to catch and transform into husband, lure in with sex, cooking, sexual availability and whatever else his weak spots might be". He is a person. A partner. Someone to evaluate objectively and say "yes, I kinda like him" or "no, I don't think he's all that great", irrespective of how hot the sex lives is.

 

From a woman's perspective, there's also how the guy behaves with her. Does he see her as a walking p*ssy or as a person as well. Sometimes, after the sexual conquest ended - when the guy is actually getting laid, he may either loose interest or will use the girl, based merely on her female attributes - her 2 breasts, arse and vagina.

 

It happens, he doesn't really like the woman, appreciate her or her personality, he's only taking what he needs. Fair enough, these guys either leave or get left.

 

However, what if that's not the case? What if, other than the fact that he may or may not be paying rent, he actually likes that house? That part of the city, the neighborhood... otherwise, the woman fulfills his emotional needs (smth which you never acknowledged men had)

 

What if the woman starts to represent more to the guy than her reproductive system and he starts to represent more than a surrogate to finally cope with society's pressure to get married and procreate?

 

To me, this is where the relationship really starts. When you stop wanting to use the other for your own needs - rational or irrational, when you look at the person in front of you and say "actually, I like him/her". And stop acting selfish. Stop using. Stop scheming.

 

Obviously, there's a certain degree of trust, of emotional closeness to reach, in order to trust your partner. Can you ever fully trust your partner? Got no idea. But what I think is the following: irrespective of who is getting the bigger part of the cake - as you've correctly put it, at some point, one of the two will be more involved than the other - if, at the end of the day, you get your emotional needs met, if, when you do the math, you feel you're receiving more than you're giving, you should stay.

 

Receiving, ninja, not getting, I am sure you understand the difference.

 

Personally, the moment I feel my partner wants to only take - use me for sex or whatever, I leave. If I feel he is being unfair, he tries to get something from me - my full attention, while he's still looking around, again, I leave. Ain't no need to spend my day and efforts with someone who doesn't appreciate me. Same thing for him: if I see he is not what I look for in a man - values, way of living, purpose in life - I leave.

 

Time is too precious and way too short to spend it trying to "get things". I am a firm believer in freedom, in altruism, in care. The guy should come see me because he likes it. He should want to pay rent because he enjoys the house. He should want to buy the house because he doesn't imagine living anywhere else.

 

To me, the definition of hell is to make someone do something they don't want. Something they feel really strongly against. It is soooo effort consuming, soooo time consuming.

 

I want to build things. Discover places. Become a better person and help my partner develop himself. Do stuff we both really enjoy to both be happy and reach another stage of fulfillment - beyond emotional fulfillment, that of personal fulfillment.

 

Can everyone be so lucky and get to that level of deep connection with another human being? Bloody hell, I don't think so. It really is a matter of luck to find a partner to make all that road. But we all have our path. I refuse to stop walking on mine, only to be dragging someone behind. Got too many things to see, too many things to do. And in the end, everyone gets tired, so that dynamic is impossible to sustain long term, it will run out of fuel, as both partners get tired of fighting against their wills, differences, different aspirations. And that... is the GOOD NEWS !

Edited April 16, 2013 by candie13

[Harlequin_Dog]

Yeah but there are certain patterns that exist for a large % of people. Men and women ARE wired differently. Nothing applies to everyone. But I am really less interested in a small %. Details of each situation matter less than you would think. If patterns and trends are irrelevant, then statistics wouldn't exist and I would be out of work.

 

Ahhh but not really! Male/female brains are actually 'wired' the same way. (A huge report just got released on the subject...I'll see if I can go drag it up! It's a very interesting read.) The differences we observe are better related to the gender roles society loves to implement from birth on us.

 

I know this seems OT- but I feel it's actually very relevant to this thread. I would argue that many of the responses and interactions seen between people in a relationship are influenced strongly by these roles. "Men" are told to be promiscuous and slow to ever 'domesticate' themselves, while "women" are strongly encouraged to try pulling any man into lasting commitment to legitimize their role in society while validating any sexual relationship they had to the "man."

 

I feel like that has a lot to do with the manufactured responses and analogies offered here.

[veggirl]

Elswyth is bang on! Smart girl!!

 

tbh Ninja for all your yammering, I bet some day you will be here posting about how "whoa I met an amazing girl a month ago, we are getting married tomorrow!!!"

[yessy21]

I think what its trying to say is:

 

1. Some guys are stupid.

2. some guys are liars.

3. some guys are jerks.

4. some guys dont read their rental agreement.

 

I didnt know that i was a renting boyfriends.

It makes sense actually... its like trying out the merchandise.

 

 

you dont go into a relationship without knowing that theres a slight chance that you might fall in love.

[candie13]

I didnt know that i was a renting boyfriends.

It makes sense actually... its like trying out the merchandise.

 

I wish we could do that with shoes: nicely return them to the shop, after we got bored of them, saying: "I am sorry, madam, I am afraid I do not wish to marry this pair of shoes. Could I please have the light turquoise ones?"

[Treasa]

I think what its trying to say is:

 

1. Some guys are stupid.

2. some guys are liars.

3. some guys are jerks.

4. some guys dont read their rental agreement.

 

I didnt know that i was a renting boyfriends.

It makes sense actually... its like trying out the merchandise.

 

 

you dont go into a relationship without knowing that theres a slight chance that you might fall in love.

 

My friend wants to know why I'm laughing so hard. Thank you for the TL;DR breakdown.

 

And I agree. I don't think this is really news to anyone.

 

What seems to be missing for some of the people posting here is that women are, for the most part, pretty capable beings, and we usually figure things out. Trust me, we don't need hand-holding while you solve all our big, bad scawy life problems.

[Ruby Slippers]

tbh Ninja for all your yammering, I bet some day you will be here posting about how "whoa I met an amazing girl a month ago, we are getting married tomorrow!!!"

Yep! As soon as ninja gets through his cynical funk and meets someone who really grabs him, all his doubts and essays about why love sucks will fly out the window

[candie13]

If a man were to turn the shade of a light turquoise he is dead. You are dating a corpse, but good news is he matches your shoes.

 

I know something slightly light blue I like, about my man... as long as it stays hard... I don't want him to turn light turquoise, if ya know what I mean !

[candie13]

boy, won't ninja be a handful for any living, thinking and speaking woman on this planet ! Imagine the fights! Imagine the making up!!

 

Would be cool to see ninja excited (dare I say hopeful?) about something, instead of so cynical and sad all the time !

[Treasa]

Wait, now we're expecting the landlord to clean the windows?? Ok, I am so confused.

[candie13]

If you want new tenants you will.

 

yeah, I've heard warm brownies work well as well in keeping them there. So is spreading around rose petals near the door entrance... or was that black panties... I am confused now

[Ruby Slippers]

What is completely missing from your thesis, Ninja, is that some men desire and welcome the blessing of loving a woman and being loved by her.

 

Your arguments do not reveal the character, fears, and reservations of all men - they reveal your own.

[Els]

Your arguments do not reveal the character, fears, and reservations of all men - they reveal your own.

 

For real.

 

All the guys I've ever been with have expressed their desire for an exclusive relationship before I did, and a long time before we even had sex. Of any sort.

[xxoo]

For real.

 

All the guys I've ever been with have expressed their desire for an exclusive relationship before I did, and a long time before we even had sex. Of any sort.

 

My guy was the one pushing for an exclusive relationship (and marriage, btw), too.

 

Not before sex, though Oopsie!

[Ninjainpajamas]

What is completely missing from your thesis, Ninja, is that some men desire and welcome the blessing of loving a woman and being loved by her.

 

Your arguments do not reveal the character, fears, and reservations of all men - they reveal your own.

 

Ha, just caught this one passing by.

 

That's hilarious, you can think that if you'd like....I know many of you must insist on making this about me and my flaws or insecurities/fears...I get the drill.

 

You'll see for yourselves, it's been proven to you in your own life and experience....but go ahead, make this all about me, and not other men, because I couldn't possible understand them...whatever makes you justify that I am "wrong" regardless of how often I am right about them.

 

Mind-boggling how insistent people can be when men and their actions and behaviors are obvious and transparent, yet you conclude your own delusions based off what? who knows.

[Treasa]

Ha, just caught this one passing by.

 

That's hilarious, you can think that if you'd like....I know many of you must insist on making this about me and my flaws or insecurities/fears...I get the drill.

 

You'll see for yourselves, it's been proven to you in your own life and experience....but go ahead, make this all about me, and not other men, because I couldn't possible understand them...whatever makes you justify that I am "wrong" regardless of how often I am right about them.

 

Mind-boggling how insistent people can be when men and their actions and behaviors are obvious and transparent, yet you conclude your own delusions based off what? who knows.

 

Ninja, I just want to say that I truly appreciate your past couple of posts being shorter. And I'm not being a smartass. I really do appreciate it.

[Kamille]

Ha, just caught this one passing by.

 

That's hilarious, you can think that if you'd like....I know many of you must insist on making this about me and my flaws or insecurities/fears...I get the drill.

 

You'll see for yourselves, it's been proven to you in your own life and experience....but go ahead, make this all about me, and not other men, because I couldn't possible understand them...whatever makes you justify that I am "wrong" regardless of how often I am right about them.

 

Mind-boggling how insistent people can be when men and their actions and behaviors are obvious and transparent, yet you conclude your own delusions based off what? who knows.

 

Wait. Are you saying that no man on this Earth has ever really truly wanted to be in a relationship?

 

See, the way I see it, your scenario is right for cases where a woman is in a relationship with a skittish guy (who is simply not into her). But it doesn't account for the situation where it is the man who is actively pursuing a relationship with a woman. And, in my experience, those are as likely to happen as the reverse.

 

Simply put: there are guys out there who want relationships. Don't waste your time on the one who don't want one or don't want one with you.

Edited April 16, 2013 by Kamille

[Ninjainpajamas]

For real.

 

All the guys I've ever been with have expressed their desire for an exclusive relationship before I did, and a long time before we even had sex. Of any sort.

 

My guy was the one pushing for an exclusive relationship (and marriage, btw), too.

 

Not before sex, though Oopsie!

 

Wait. Are you saying that no man on this Earth has ever really truly wanted to be in a relationship?

 

See, the way I see it, your scenario is right for cases where a woman is in a relationship with a skittish guy (who is simply not into her). But it doesn't account for the situation where it is the man who is actively pursuing a relationship with a woman. And, in my experience, those are as likely to happen as the reverse.

 

Simply put: there are guys out there who want relationships. Don't waste your times on the one who don't want one or don't want one with you.

 

Go ahead, keep putting words in my mouth...continue on, I say one thing, and others reply with some nonsensical jab at me...I mean I'm obviously an oblivious man who categories all men as the same type, I couldn't possibly differentiate from the types of men or where they stand and where they are coming from...no no it's all foreign to me, because I'm talking about one thing and not covering the other things in the same breathe....clearly I am off mark completely

[Els]

I mean I'm obviously an oblivious man who categories all men as the same type, I couldn't possibly differentiate from the types of men or where they stand and where they are coming from...no no it's all foreign to me, because I'm talking about one thing and not covering the other things in the same breathe....clearly I am off mark completely

 

Glad you got the point?

 

Seriously, if that's not what you're saying, what ARE you saying?

 

And please, try to keep it under 100 words.