Hopeful_romantic Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Ok so my ex of four years cheated on me many times and although i had a feeling something was wrong i chose to ignore it for longer than i should have, call it denial or desperation but he was my first love and my first everything that i didn't want to let go.. (not to mention we had the same friends and i was living with his sister).. It got to a point where we were arguing on a daily basis about everything and anything and our friends were getting sick of it. One night my friends had organized a night out to a club but as it was during exams i said i wouldn't go. However last minute i changed my mind and thought i'd surprise everyone by showing up unexpectedly.. unfortunately i was the one who got the surprise when i saw my ex getting with a girl in the corner of the club, i couldn't ignore it any longer and ended it right there and then when i punched him. For months i hid away, i had hardly any emotional support due to everyone wanting to be impartial and telling me that i should have ended it earlier.. I ended up getting so down and depressed about it that people started avoiding me and spending more time with him because he was still his fun and bubbly self. I couldn't understand why this was, he was the one that cheated on me and treated me like **** not the other way around! I decided to cut everyone out and focus on myself and it helped a lot, i found myself smiling and having fun, however after a while i missed my friends, especially my ex's sister who i had been so close with for so many years (Uni had finished and we both moved back home). They had been calling and messaging me wanting to talk but i felt so betrayed by them that it was hard for me to reply. Eventually one of my friends was having a birthday party and i knew he was going to be there, i decided to man up and go.. I made sure i looked great, walked in and talked to everyone except him. It was lovely hearing everyone say how great i looked and how much they had missed me, it gave me that much needed confidence boost that i had been lacking. After that i decided that i would gradually ease my way back in to the group, the next night he decided to come and talk to me, he asked me how i'd been and where i'm working now etc.. oh whilst he was asking this he was holding my hand, so after a quick chit chat i told him politely that he could let go of my hand and i went off and had fun with my friends.. Near the end of the night he tried dancing with me but i politely twirled away and went to the bar. (I still love and miss him so much that i can't allow myself to have too much time with him in that type of environment as i would hate to end up back to square 1).. Unfortunately the next night out i ended up drinking a bit too much and he took it upon himself to look after me. As i live quite for from the center i ended up going back to his, we agreed that he would sleep on the sofa and i would go in the bed, however during the night he got in to the bed and started cuddling me, i was so drunk and tired that i let him (that and the fact that i missed him so much, it felt kind of nice).. He attempted to kiss me but i told him that it wouldn't be a good idea, so he just hugged me until the morning. The next day we had breakfast together and it felt weirdly normal, he told me that he had heard i was seeing someone (i had been but it was nothing serious and it was fizzling out) so i just went along with it, he then told me that he had met someone but that it wasn't serious yet. We joked around and eventually i left. Last week i ended up going out for my friends birthday, my ex was there and he had brought the girl he was seeing which completely blindsided me.. i remained cool and composed and acted like it didn't affect me at all as i wanted to keep my friends happy and i also wanted to have a good night. However he completely ignored me, didn't bother saying hi etc.. and walked straight past me. I found it quite odd, especially seeing as i thought we were on civilized terms now. At the end of the night, i was leaving with my ex's sister (as i was staying at hers for the night) once she had said her goodbye's to him i thought i'd be nice and say bye as well to which he responded 'F**K OFF'.. i was so shocked by this outburst and asked him why he was being such a di**head, he replied that he was only being a di**head to me and it was because i deserved it. I have no idea what the hell happened in the space of one week, and why after how polite and civil i have been to him he thinks its ok to be so rude and disrespectful. All of my friends don't want us together as they say we cause too much drama, so i can't speak to them about it because they will just tell me to get over it and to ignore him. That's easier said than done..
jovan Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 wow... the best thing to do here, is to distance your self from him. And just ignore him when you see him. In time you can become friends again. But if you'r not sure about what you want from him, and if you have some expectations you will just end up hurting your self even more.
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