xbabycakes Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Hi again, ive posted a few times basically my bf said he needed a break then it I annoyed him and he ended up saying he wanted us to be over. That was 7 weeks ago and Ive seen him every week or so and still been in contact, but being without him has been absolute hell for me and ive been put on medication even. (I have begged for him back a few times but he always changed the subject and he didnt ask or want to see me) Id only been NC 3 days and he tried to call me Friday night (never rings me) but I ignored him then Saturday evening I was feeling very, very down and lonely but resisted reaching out to him when he text me saying 'Hey wuu2' and I ignored it and he wrote asking if he could take me out for a meal and to the cinema which surprised me as before it was me begging to see him and him saying no. So i agreed and had a lovely night & I stayed at his (nothing happened like that) and he went to visit his mum this morning and dropped me back to my mums. Whilst I was there I also watched him messaging his friend and when the friend said who are you with he replied 'the girlfriend'. So now im completely confused again? As far as I thought we were over but now Im all up in the air again. I dont want to start questioning him about it again as when I dont that last time I think i scared him off because he felt like he needed space and thats how the 'break' turned into a break up... I know I probably shouldnt have gone but I love him with all my heart and would do anything I can to try and save us! x
Mack05 Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) 1) You recently posted a thread about ending it all? Please don't ever go down that route. You are too precious and life is too precious to ever consider that option. A mature person recognises that a broken heart is not the end of the world. We have all suffered them babycakes and most of us have lived great and loved again.. 2) A mature person should NEVER blame alcohol for their mistake(s). They either a) have enough control and sense not to do silly things when under the influence or b) they give up drink.. 3) If he came back you, you would take him back. If he left again, you would be devastated all over again. If he came back again after that, you would take him back all over again. An emotionally mature woman recognises negative behaviours/cycles and quickly distances herself from the cause (i.e him). She understands the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.. 4) An emotionally mature woman truly knows and understands herself and establishes firm boundaries early doors...If a potential partner cannot stay within those boundaries, then she knows he is not the right partner for her. 5) There is no mature relationship communication in this relationship. That story when you broke up, went back to your mums, came back to his with food and you both laughed and forgot about it all, solves nothing. It's pushing dirt under a carpet, it's an ostrich with it's head in the sand, its putting a plaster over a gaping wound. Just cause you have a kiss and a cuddle does not make everything all right. The issues that were there before have not been resolved and neither of you have the skills to truly understand the relationship issues, let alone resolve them. Maturity in this instance is not guessing why your boyfriend wants to breakup. It's not putting it down to 'silly arguments'. It's about understanding exactly what is happening beneath the surface and then determining if you can both work past these issues and/or make certain compromises to steer the ship in the right direction. We have all been young and immature. Life teaches us lessons. It's ok if you hate me or disagree with me. I thought my mother knew nothing until I was 25 and then quickly realised she knew everything Same posts different day. Your relationship with this man is IMPOSSIBLE to work. Why? My post with regarding emotional maturity above. You are both FAR too emotionally immature to make this ever work. If you get back together it will fail and you will be more devastated. You don't want to help yourself, so why should we try to help you anymore? This just keeps going and going. New posts with the same stuff. You ignoring great advice whilst dancing to his pied piper merry tune. He says 'jump' you say 'how high?'..Unless you remove this man from your life for good you will forever stay in this rut. That is the cold harsh truth.. There is so much work you need to do on yourself. This can't be done while he is on the scene. Edited April 14, 2013 by Mack05
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