Saz_angel Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 So after the first disaster of a night out with mutual friends in which my ex was invited which caused me to be blindsided. I had a bit too much too drink and let all my emotions come out which resulted in a confrontation with him after he kissed me. Last night was the second time and it was a friends birthday party and I decided to go this time with the intentions that he would be there and I wouldn't drink too much. However, I don't know if its him or me or my friends but I wasn't happy to be there - at one point me and my ex spoke and we had a nice chat about what we were doing and everything but this was outside alone. Our friends don't want us together in no circumstances - if we are at a table and we are within a close proximity to each other chairs get moved, people swap places and then when it comes to we are left alone someone always comes out and distracts the other. Apparently its awkward when we are together but I feel like they make it awkward. We've talked about this together briefly and hes noticed what is happening but he says that it sucks but we just have to go along with it. It disappoints me in a way that he doesn't stand up and say something about it all. I feel like sometimes I'm being childish and immature but in other ways I don't know if its the atmosphere and others behavior that brings that part of me out. I don't know if it will get better. i don't know whether I should a) speak to my ex a bit more about the situation and then we can decide on an arrangement about going out with our mutual friends. b) confront my mutual friends about how I'm feeling and either they invite me out if my ex is there or not. c) Go along and take it as it comes. or d) Keep in contact with mutual friends but don't go out with them.
cclare Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 This is always something that's hard about breaking up if you have mutual friends. Don't beat yourself up so much about it being awkward. You are not the only one who is making it that way--your friends are trying to keep you two away from each other and as a result it might seem a bit awkward. This is a normal phase of a break up, in my opinion. People don't know how to react. You say you were not happy to be there. Is this because of your ex? It seems like its keeping you from healing. I would just try to avoid going out to places where you know he will be until you've healed a bit more. I know with circumstances such as birthday parties and stuff that this can be difficult, and sometimes seeing your ex is unavoidable, but I'd try to steer clear of being around him as much as you can for now. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just remember you're not alone!
Author Saz_angel Posted April 15, 2013 Author Posted April 15, 2013 Thank you for your reply. I wasn't too happy because I do feel in a way with my ex around that he dominates the conversation and the whole room. He spent most of the night talking with my closest friends and I really wanted to go over and join in the conversation. There was even a point in the night when he sat in my seat and there was a seat next to him that was empty but I didn't know what to do. I did find that when we went out and we had a talk I was so happy that he even spoke to me and asked me how I was I felt like we were friends but then it hit me later that he was giving that time and attention to another girl. When I heard a friend ask him about this other girl he replied that she had a boyfriend. I asked him to go outside to talk to me and he did and thats when I tried to tell him how I feel about the situation but the conversation just ended up being us re-hashing the past. I do have another friend's birthday in the pipeline but I'm not sure if I want to go to that - there will be less people and it would be a meal situation but I know he is going.
Recommended Posts