bogus me Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 We are dating from last five years. It was going good, we used to talk almost everyday and had a good time. From the last 1 year we are living together, I somehow feel that the things has changed.I feel I am not getting as much as I need. He always seem too busy with his stuff. He never approaches me for anything. I am tired of asking him to reply even when I say Love You. I have talked with him regarding all this several times. It seems like he tries for an hour or two to change and pay me some attention. But at the end of the day...he is just the same. It hurts me every single moment. I want to be with him but seeing him just ignoring me is really painful. His point is that he is like this from last 25 years or so and its hard to change. I don't know how to stop my needs for attention. Now its the time when we have started talking about getting married but the thought of being getting ignored while you eat, watch or walk just scares me . Please suggest me. Thanks
soccerrprp Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 I am sorry to hear this. Have you asked him what has changed? He seems very distant and such brooding often indicates doubts and in this case, doubts about the relationship, you. Since moving in, has something changed with his job, intimacy, possible depression? You need to tell him how you REALLY feel. Ask him the painful questions about whether he wants or is ready to marry. No, you certainly do not want to be married to someone who is not going to give you the emotional and physical attention and needs you require. Good luck.
Solipsanum Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 If something has changed, is it you or him? Is he stressed about something that could be making him more withdrawn? Do you know if he's worrying about things? Are you stressed and needing more attention than you normally would? If so, have you told him? Alternately, maybe you just need more socialisation in general than he does. I don't know much about your situation, but maybe getting out and picking up some new hobbies would help. Spend time with friends. Is he always distant, or just some of the time? If he's close sometimes, maybe he just needs a little bit more space, and still loves you at the end of the day. If it goes deeper than all that, I don't know. If you're truly unhappy in a relationship, you mustn't commit to something that will make you miserable. But at the same time, it must be worth exploring the situation from all sides first to see if there's something external getting in the way that you can fix.
Recommended Posts