Yuzuki Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 It has now been almost two years since my breakup, after a relationship that barely lasted a few months. I did NC for a year and a half and it wasn't getting me anywhere - even after all that time I was incapable of thinking of anything else for even 15min and I never felt any happiness. As it literally could not get any worse I decided to contact him and we've been friends since. Making contact is the only thing that helped me feel a bit better. I don't regret doing that at all and probably should have done it much earlier. However I do still cry often and I'm kind of out of ideas on what to do about it. There's no progress, things pretty much stay the same. The only noticeable improvement was after breaking NC, since then it's stable again. I am absolutely not breaking off contact again after the hell I went through for 1.5 years. I tried NC long enough and it accomplished nothing. At least now that I'm on speaking terms I'm actually capable of feeling some happiness again (even about things not related to him). There was none of that before, only constant tears. Therapy is so insanely expensive that I honestly think I would rather cry for a bit. I did have an opportunity to have free therapy for awhile last year but it didn't really help. It's not that I think he's perfect or anything. It's just that the feelings I had back then were so intense that life seems meaningless without it. I don't know how other people deal with the memory of such an intense feeling and still feel content living a life without it? Or is it just that my mind isn't processing the memories properly, because I'm guessing they're supposed to dull a bit but I can perfectly recall that excitement and bliss as if it were real right now. I just wanted to write this down even if there's probably not a whole lot that people can do about it. If you can in some way relate though, or if there's anything you want to say, I always appreciate that. These forums are a great place for support. Thanks. 1
CompleteFailure Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 This post makes me so sad. The fear that my ex is experiencing this kind of happiness with someone else and that if they do breakup she won't ever be able to get over him. What's the point of me wanting her back after? Logically, I know this may happen and yet I'm still willing to wait. It's a disgusting problem. I feel this way about her. She feels this way for another. Life is really f*cked up. 1
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