lala_land Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 Hey all, This the first time i post topic about any relationship I had. Didn't really liked and counted on forums, but now I just don't know who else to ask for advice... Well anyway lets cut to the point! 8 months ago I met a guy over internet, to be specific - while playing online multiplayer video games. It doesn't really matter how we met, the point is that I liked him straight away. And he liked me too. I was always against LDR's, but I couldn't help but liking him more then just an online gamer buddy. I don't want to say where are we from exactly, lets just say I'm from south Europe and he's from the north Europe. It's really easy and not that expensive travelling from here to there, and even before I met him I had thing going on there; i was waiting for scholarship or a job, in the same country where he lives, so I thought "why not meeting him when I already travel there a lot?". So after 4 months of talking and flirting I went to meet him. We agreed that we're not gonna expect anything because we both dislike expectations. He told me that he would rather that we don't have sex, to keep it on the "hangout chilling meeting level" like a first date, and I agreed, I only wanted to meet him live and to see if there is something real between us. So I came there, and it was wonderful. He was so sweet and good and gentle to me. First we talked, joked about things, laughed... and then naturally we started touching each other, cuddling, kissing... it was really good, I felt i knew him my whole life. I couldn't have stayed more then till midnight there at his place, but those hours were enough for me to realize there IS something real between us. We didn't had sex (only oral) because I wanted to keep a deal (but it's not like I didn't wanted I just didn't wanted to rush with it) and he also barely kept his hand out of my panties. But all in all it was a beautiful date and we decided to keep seeing each other as much as we can and to continue it like a LDR. And so we did. We did everything that LDR couples do; skype, webcam sex, games, ideas, dirty talks, dates, sleeping together on webcam, talking, etc etc. and it was so far so good... until a week ago. I'm about to go there again (so it was 4 months since the last time) in 5 days. That was the plan from long ago, that I'm coming in April (he was supposed to come in march but something's wrong with his passport so he'll come in May). So as I said after that first date we really got it on with imagination and everything, exaggerating a little bit with all the sex things like "oh what I will do to you" and blah blah that it's a certain thing that most of those things are gonna happen when we see each other next time, it was obvious. He was always like a horny teenager, couldn't wait too see me again, and I was the same. We haven't been dating other people since then because we wanted each other, so that one day we can be in a real relationship when I move there (because eventually I will, with or without him). So what happened now is that he got chicken****. He started acting a bit weird about me coming there, kind of avoiding me and acting too friendly, and when I asked him what's wrong he told me that he's scared of our first time (sex). He's afraid that I'm not gonna like him or that he's not gonna like me, and all the sex talks we had got stuck into his head that now he's not sure if that's how is gonna happen, that I maybe expect too much. I really didn't know what to say. I'm aware that distance is hard when you want someone, dealing with passion and stuff without being able to touch him/her, and to keep being attracted even without that and just with communication and imagination, but this coming from him got me really confused. He said that the first time I was here it was cool because we kept it on a friendly level, and now he's to nervous because we reached the higher level. I'm trying to explain his words but it's hard because I don't really get it. I know I like him and I want him and that I am attracted to him, and that I want to have sex with him, simple as that. I'm not expecting it to be like our imagination, I'm just expecting it to BE. And he said that it would be much easier and that he would be less nervous if we kept it friendly again without any expectations, so after it we can decide if want to continue a relationship or not. In translation he wants to see if he wants to have sex with me, right? It really got me down and I told him that it's ok and that he has nothing to be afraid of, that we can take it slow and it's cool, but honestly it's not really that cool, it got me down a little bit so that now I don't even know if I even want to come. Now I have a fear of rejection, and I don't want us to be just friends, not after everything we've been through. I feel like nothing has happened by these 4 months and that I'm meeting him for the first time now, and I don't like that feeling. Now I'm just gonna be worried hows gonna be and hows he gonna treat me, will he kiss me or should I do that and stuff like that, I though that this was already a certain thing and now it's on the edge and with a risk of being rejected (or me not wanting to have sex after all of this). Everything's just one big question sign now. I'm about to stay there for a weekend this time, if I go btw. So if anyone can give me some advice or share experience about this it would be helpful. I'm not asking if I should go, I am asking if this behavior coming from a guy is normal or he's just not that into me anymore? Did we overextended our imagination so it gets in the way to reality now? How do you deal with these things in LDR?
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