uniqwa Posted April 14, 2013 Posted April 14, 2013 (edited) Alright so.. He had borrowed money from me.. He paid me back.. I don't know why it hurts even more then before? its like I just lost him again, honestly the heart squeeze hasn't stopped.. I honestly think he felt compassion and it's as though my feelings contradict themselves. I didn't like how much of an ******* he acted like. I literally broke from that. My heart literally broke. OUT of nowhere he sends me the money he said he'd pay me back, now he had said this " I'm sorry, all I can do is pay you back", He paid me back and it's as though I just broke again.. my heart figuratively speaking.. I'm just sad all over again, I've been depressed but I haven't cried this much since he initially told me he wasn't coming back... I love him.. I know I should let him go... I know he does not love me any more. the mere thought of me probably repulses him. He probably hates ever have knowing me, and I am weak. I begged, I cried, I tried... I really loved him and knowing that he hates me literally does nothing.. he doesn't hate me but he wants nothing to do with me.. He sends me what he "owes me"... I sent it back.. I literally did not want him to send me money he worked for.. I guess its that he really did love me and it's just a confirmation.. he felt compassion and pitty, or he didn't want me to feel as though "he just used me" he felt compassion because at one point he really did love me. he did care about me? Edited April 14, 2013 by uniqwa
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