I fell for him during the honeymoon stage..

[purplepanda]

I know all my threads are long. :/ I'm sorry.

 

So, in December, I finally decided that my (only) ex is toxic in my life and I need to get rid of anything to do with him. I got my life on track.

In February this year, a guy I met a couple times through friends, messaged me on Facebook. We'd been friends on there for about a year, talked a couple times.

 

He is a really sweet guy; very open, pretty nerdy, hardworking, big heart, etc. He's really funny, too: I found myself cracking up several times when I was with him, just in one day. I was kind of hesitant when he first came to see me, but he was so great. That first night we just stayed up talking till 5 in the morning. He was so open with emotions and such, I didn't feel like I had to hold any of mine back (not that I'm crazy about it).

 

He's older than me, yes, has a son, yes... a lot of people didn't think I should deal with that when I'm 19, but NO ONE my age ever asks me out.... their approach is more "show me your boobs". I'm done trying to analyze that "you're so sexy" stuff, making myself think they actually like me.

 

Nick was someone different... we actually went OUT IN PUBLIC; I wasn't paying for everything. HE drove me (the fact that he had a car was good, cause it's weird for a girl being the only one with a car, as in many cases previous to this) most places. He came to see me, I went to see him. He took me to Red Lobster.

 

The thing is, I know we moved a little fast. Honestly, I didn't think it would go anywhere. I thought it would be a nail and bail thing, like every other time. I was tired of being alone and thought I could get one good night to remember. Yeah, I'm dumb. But it turned into more than that. Now that I've said that, the rest of this just breaks my heart.

 

I went to see him three weekends in a row; a couple times I hardly had money for it, but I missed him so badly. One reason I fell for him so hard was because I spend nights with him, which I've never done. He was someone who made me feel worthwhile, like I wasn't "just some girl" as everyone seems to think I am. Just everyone's pal. Anyways. A couple weeks ago, he was acting weird. All depressed; he hadn't seen his son for a couple weeks because he was at his ex's mom's place a few hours away. His ex had moved on to some guy who's a registered sex offender and he seems to think she's trying to replace him (Nick) with her new boyfriend as the father figure. I tried to be there for him, but it honestly felt so scary. I had a pretty good intuition when it comes to knowing when a guy is done with me. :/

 

I was kind of right. That weekend I went to see him again; his son was back and I met him. Nick was normal, happy. He started doing this thing when I teased him about something... he'd yell "YOU KNOW WHAT? I love you." Everything was the same. So a week later, when he broke up with me, I was devastated. I didn't understand. I still don't.

 

At first he said, "you deserve someone so much better than me. Someone who doesn't have a crummy past, someone who doesn't have a kid. I keep distracting you from school." (No he's not; I got 3 D's last semester before him, so he's not affecting anything to do with school.) When I wouldn't accept that, he said, "Listen, I don't know why I feel this way. I don't feel the spark I once had for you. I wish I did, but I don't know why that happened. I feel terrible. That's why I don't like getting close to people until I really know them. I rushed in with you too quickly."

He wouldn't call me and tell me this; just ignored my calls and texted met that.

 

He was the one who came to me, who said we should hang out, etc. He was the one who said no one had ever made him feel that way. He just woke up one day and didn't have feelings for me? I really don't want to believe that... he has low self esteem, I think, and our mutual friend said she thinks he's lying because she's done that too.

 

I really haven't opened up with anyone the way I've opened up with him. I've never felt so comfortable with anyone.

 

I made a list of things about him that annoyed me, but I still miss him every day. At night it's the worst. And my days feel out of whack because I momentarily forget he's not my boyfriend when I wake up in the morning. It really hurts.... it makes me feel like absolute **** that he could say he "lost his feelings" for me. I haven't talked to him in 6 days; we broke up 7 days ago. I want to talk to him, but I'm so scared he won't miss me. Or that he hasn't thought about me. I'm also afraid that he really was a douche and just used me.

 

In a couple weeks I'm going to that friend's house for a "girl's night" thing, where he lives. I'll get my stuff and give him his (I've been sleeping in his star wars shirt every night :'( ). My head thinks I shouldn't call or text him, then show up that day. But my heart wants to talk to him again, talk to the guy I fell for. :c

 

Sorry it's so long....

[LoveLoser]

I've only ever been close to having a real relationship once. And it pretty much went exactly like yours. All I can say is there's is a good chance he still loves you but needs time to gather his thoughts. Do not whatever you do, DON'T pester him. This is how I ruined my relationship. He was overwhelmed, said we moved too fast and opened up too much. Instead of giving him breathing room I called constantly, obsessed. The more he pushed me away the more I clung. I drove him right into the arms of someone else. Learn from my horrible, idiotic mistake and leave him alone because there is a good chance he still loves you but Is just confused.

[purplepanda]

I've only ever been close to having a real relationship once. And it pretty much went exactly like yours. All I can say is there's is a good chance he still loves you but needs time to gather his thoughts. Do not whatever you do, DON'T pester him. This is how I ruined my relationship. He was overwhelmed, said we moved too fast and opened up too much. Instead of giving him breathing room I called constantly, obsessed. The more he pushed me away the more I clung. I drove him right into the arms of someone else. Learn from my horrible, idiotic mistake and leave him alone because there is a good chance he still loves you but Is just confused.

 

Okay It really hurts, but I know there was a reason I just couldn't get myself to call him and ask how he was. I hope you're right...everyone I've asked (on some forums online), has said to move on, forget about him, he was probably genuine then really did just feel "blah". :/

[LoveLoser]

Okay It really hurts, but I know there was a reason I just couldn't get myself to call him and ask how he was. I hope you're right...everyone I've asked (on some forums online), has said to move on, forget about him, he was probably genuine then really did just feel "blah". :/

 

Yea I wouldnt say move on but keep your mind occupied with other things, the guy I was with ended up contacting me a couple months later but I had already screwed the relationship up by getting all crazy and obsessive. Like the saying goes "let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was"

[purplepanda]

Yea I wouldnt say move on but keep your mind occupied with other things, the guy I was with ended up contacting me a couple months later but I had already screwed the relationship up by getting all crazy and obsessive. Like the saying goes "let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was"

 

Yeah, this is probably the first time I HAVEN'T ever thought about that quote. -.- Slipped my mind. And I'm trying to keep myself busy; I work five days a week, go to college full time. I've been spending a lot of time with my guy friend, so I don't think about Nick as much.

 

Realized I kind of have a crush on my friend but he's taken and I couldn't go there; he's a really good friend and I don't have many of those around, know what I mean?

[Nicoleiia]

It really sucks when they break up with you in the honeymoon stage. It KILLS.