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Posted

The last time my ex spoke to me he said to stop messaging and calling him. He said we both have to keep moving forward. Today I heard from a friend that he is going through a rough time because his grandfather is really sick. I still love and care about him. It hurts me to know he's hurting and I can't be there for him. Should I reach out to him?

Posted

No.

 

When you were hurting he told you to stop contacting him. You aren't his girlfriend anymore, he doesn't get to have your support. I understand its difficult when you still care but unfortunately that's how it goes.

 

You will only feel worse if he does not respond the way you may be expecting him to - if he even responds at all that is.

 

He may also think you are keeping tabs on him despite it was a friend who told you about his sick relative.

 

Mentally wish him well..don't actually do it physically

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Posted
No.

 

When you were hurting he told you to stop contacting him. You aren't his girlfriend anymore, he doesn't get to have your support. I understand its difficult when you still care but unfortunately that's how it goes.

 

You will only feel worse if he does not respond the way you may be expecting him to - if he even responds at all that is.

 

He may also think you are keeping tabs on him despite it was a friend who told you about his sick relative.

 

Mentally wish him well..don't actually do it physically

 

You are right. I did everything I could to save the relationship. He broke up with me and left anyways. I will wish him well mentally and I will pray for him.

Posted

You could indirectly tell your mutual friend that you're worried about him and hope your ex is doing well. I'm sure the message would get there eventually. Just don't be expecting any response.

Posted

my grandmother passed away and she found out pretty soon after.. I got an email from her a month later telling me she hoped i was doing well and that she was sorry to hear about my grandmother, and that "stuff like this pushes all the crap we went through aside" and that she was there for me if i needed anything.

 

Nice enough message, but it comes across as somewhat shady. Why are you really contacting me?--thats the question he probably will ask. Even if you are being genuine, it doesnt mean it will come across as such. Its best, as sad as it is, to leave the person be. My ex's email a month later did me no good, and like others say she wasnt my gf anymore to act as a support system.

 

Trust me, I am very aware that if you care its not easy..at all. I guess I am more in his shoes than yours..and its best you just move forward silently. If he really needed you, he can reach out himself.

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